Smack That

"Really? Your here to loose weight? Why? Your cute, man. You can bag chicks easily!", was the first compliment that I got from him. Him is a guy who goes to my gym, in fact he's one of the trainer. The guy who I refer to for everything is the owner of the gym. He has three people under his rule - two guys and a girl. Him happens to be one of those two guys.

I thanked him for his compliment but didn't exactly pay attention to it. You know your over-weight when you have big ass love handles. I wanted to loose weight. I wanted to give my life some sort of push forward and building a healthier body seemed like a great way to start. Further more, I had already gotten the membership so I might as well put it to good use.

Of the two sub-trainers, he's the friendlier one. The other guy although very polite and helping, doesn't really talk to anybody on his own. If you approach him asking for help he would respond and help you how ever he can. Except for when he's talking two or three members I have never seen him laugh or crack a smile.

The other dude is the polar opposite of him. He's talks with everyone, notices subtle changes in body and makes sure he lets the person know. He laughs and jokes. If he spots someone doing something wrong, he would immediately come over to correct that person. If the person is welcoming to his help, he would help even more. He's a real social butterfly! I really can't play favorites. I like them both equally. While I trust them both, I favor the sober one more when it comes to advice because I believe he has a better body. Also I can not let any excuse of talking to him slip pass me. No way! No how!

It's been about four months since I started going to the gym regularly and the changes have been tremendous. I weigh 74 kgs right now, I started off from 81kgs. My waist line has also decreases and I can feel I am nearer to a healthier version of me. A friend of mine and my mother have noticed the starting of some muscle developement. So in all, I would say that things are going in a good direction, but there is alot more distance to cover. Quite obviously, Mr. Trainer has also noticed these changes and has complimented me a few more times. And here's the thing - those compliments seem flirty to me.

I don't think he's gay or bi. I really don't but then things like these throw me off. And what happened today was way beyond and above getting thrown off. I was literally vaulted twenty feet into the air and dropped back on my bum. Go over the details and tell me what do you conclude. Once I have his deal figured out, I can act appropriately. If he flirts, I'll flirt back. If he jokes, I'll joke back. If he shoves his tongue down my throat, you can bet your money I won't think twice before doing the same. But before all that I would really like to get to know what's going in his head.

So I was at my gym today around four in the afternoon. It was a holiday today and a very important religious day for that so not many people had come to the gym. When I arrived, there were only two guys and one lady there besides the trainers. I went to the locker room and changed into shorts and a t-shirt. While walking back to the weight room, I noticed that one of my shoe laces was untied. Too lazy to crouch down, I propped my foot on a rising and bent over.

Out of no where red hot pain strikes me with the force of lightening and shoots up my spine. I cuss and look up to see Mr. Trainer walking by with a giant smile on his face. He gives me a wink just before he enters the weight room and disappears. I prop myself against a wall nursing my probably swollen ass cheek with a semi hard-on in my shorts. I am excited and embarrassed at the same time.

I would admit right here right now that I have a spanking fetish. Caught you by surprise, didn't I? LOL!

I really don't know how to explain this one. But then again, I can really not think of any logical reasons for any of my other fetishes. But let's keep it to spanking for now. So yeah, I'm into spanking. Not the BDSM kind, but a naughty playful kind. I don't like to turn people's asses beet red. I do not like paddles, whips or what ever is it that people use. I prefer the touch of skin on skin. If I see an ass I like, I would like to spank it. Nathan knows about this very well. But for the first time, the roles had been reversed in my mind. I was the spankee - is that even a word?.

I so wanted to grab his hand and drag him to the locker room. Slam him against one of those tiled walls and let him do whatever the heck he wanted to do with me. But I calmed myself down, entered the weight room and did whatever I was supposed to trying to the best of my abilities to give him the impression that I really didn't care. However everytime I saw that bicep flex, I could feel my heart beat faster.

He's definitely not relationship material, and I do not want to be in a relationship right now. If it's casual fun he wants, I think I can go ahead with it. He's definitely yummy. Really really yummy!

What do you guys have to say? 

Smack That

"Really? Your here to loose weight? Why? Your cute, man. You can bag chicks easily!", was the first compliment that I got from him. Him is a guy who goes to my gym, in fact he's one of the trainer. The guy who I refer to for everything is the owner of the gym. He has three people under his rule - two guys and a girl. Him happens to be one of those two guys.

I thanked him for his compliment but didn't exactly pay attention to it. You know your over-weight when you have big ass love handles. I wanted to loose weight. I wanted to give my life some sort of push forward and building a healthier body seemed like a great way to start. Further more, I had already gotten the membership so I might as well put it to good use.

Of the two sub-trainers, he's the friendlier one. The other guy although very polite and helping, doesn't really talk to anybody on his own. If you approach him asking for help he would respond and help you how ever he can. Except for when he's talking two or three members I have never seen him laugh or crack a smile.

The other dude is the polar opposite of him. He's talks with everyone, notices subtle changes in body and makes sure he lets the person know. He laughs and jokes. If he spots someone doing something wrong, he would immediately come over to correct that person. If the person is welcoming to his help, he would help even more. He's a real social butterfly! I really can't play favorites. I like them both equally. While I trust them both, I favor the sober one more when it comes to advice because I believe he has a better body. Also I can not let any excuse of talking to him slip pass me. No way! No how!

It's been about four months since I started going to the gym regularly and the changes have been tremendous. I weigh 74 kgs right now, I started off from 81kgs. My waist line has also decreases and I can feel I am nearer to a healthier version of me. A friend of mine and my mother have noticed the starting of some muscle developement. So in all, I would say that things are going in a good direction, but there is alot more distance to cover. Quite obviously, Mr. Trainer has also noticed these changes and has complimented me a few more times. And here's the thing - those compliments seem flirty to me.

I don't think he's gay or bi. I really don't but then things like these throw me off. And what happened today was way beyond and above getting thrown off. I was literally vaulted twenty feet into the air and dropped back on my bum. Go over the details and tell me what do you conclude. Once I have his deal figured out, I can act appropriately. If he flirts, I'll flirt back. If he jokes, I'll joke back. If he shoves his tongue down my throat, you can bet your money I won't think twice before doing the same. But before all that I would really like to get to know what's going in his head.

So I was at my gym today around four in the afternoon. It was a holiday today and a very important religious day for that so not many people had come to the gym. When I arrived, there were only two guys and one lady there besides the trainers. I went to the locker room and changed into shorts and a t-shirt. While walking back to the weight room, I noticed that one of my shoe laces was untied. Too lazy to crouch down, I propped my foot on a rising and bent over.

Out of no where red hot pain strikes me with the force of lightening and shoots up my spine. I cuss and look up to see Mr. Trainer walking by with a giant smile on his face. He gives me a wink just before he enters the weight room and disappears. I prop myself against a wall nursing my probably swollen ass cheek with a semi hard-on in my shorts. I am excited and embarrassed at the same time.

I would admit right here right now that I have a spanking fetish. Caught you by surprise, didn't I? LOL!

I really don't know how to explain this one. But then again, I can really not think of any logical reasons for any of my other fetishes. But let's keep it to spanking for now. So yeah, I'm into spanking. Not the BDSM kind, but a naughty playful kind. I don't like to turn people's asses beet red. I do not like paddles, whips or what ever is it that people use. I prefer the touch of skin on skin. If I see an ass I like, I would like to spank it. Nathan knows about this very well. But for the first time, the roles had been reversed in my mind. I was the spankee - is that even a word?.

I so wanted to grab his hand and drag him to the locker room. Slam him against one of those tiled walls and let him do whatever the heck he wanted to do with me. But I calmed myself down, entered the weight room and did whatever I was supposed to trying to the best of my abilities to give him the impression that I really didn't care. However everytime I saw that bicep flex, I could feel my heart beat faster.

He's definitely not relationship material, and I do not want to be in a relationship right now. If it's casual fun he wants, I think I can go ahead with it. He's definitely yummy. Really really yummy!

What do you guys have to say? 

I Got Style

Yours truly has just been honored the Stylish Blogger Award by the fabulously engaging M@rvin who can be found at Mostly Unfabulous. Free non-alcoholic drinks for all!

So the rules of this award are as follows;

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this high honor; Like duh!
2. Share 7 things about yourself; Are you seriously ready for these juicy bits?
3. Award 5 other bloggers; This one is a toughie!
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award; Sure, why not?! I got nothing better to do!

So here are 7 things that I'm telling in a few sentences. I may or may not do them in a detailed post later, but nothing is for certain now. So here I go and don't you try to stop me;

I Kissed a Girl: But I don't know exactly how I feel about it. It happened in 2009 at a pool party. Her name is Rachael - that is her real name! She was at a party of my cousin's friend and we got along really well. But a kiss was all that really happened. Over all, she's the 3rd of the total 4 people I have kissed!

Bite Me: Before I started this blog, I had a minute stint as an author of True Blood and Vampire Diaries gay erotic fan fiction. I had a whole story line planned for every season and lots of hot steamy sex, however erotic writing isn't my thing and I tend to get bored of it after sometime. Writing about my life and how I feel is much more exciting, in my opinion!

Game Over: I have considered suicide once a very long time ago. I think it was sometime in the beginning of March of 2005. It was the scariest thing I have ever done. I actually considered jumping and just being done with everything however I couldn't go ahead with it. I was chicken but I am so happy I was a chicken!

Country Bumpkin: I have only traveled in a plane once in my entire life and that too I had to do alone and out of Pakistan. Mum was so worried and just about everybody in my family was thinking that I'd get lost or something horrible would happen. However I reached my destination quite safely by the Grace of God.

Just Okay: Yes, I'm 100% gay. However with that being said, I have never found Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, Daniel Radcliffe or any of the Jonas Brothers even minutely attractive. But my heart does occasionally flutter when Taylor Lautner flashes across my screen!

Breakfast in Bed: As my resolution, I have learned how to make french toast, pancakes, coffee, cheese omelette and cheese toasts for breakfast. And now I'm secretly wishing that once in my life I get to serve these to somebody I love!

Jaddu ki Jhappi: I wish I could hug you just so that you don't feel lonely anymore ever again!

There you have it! 

Seven original never read before dirty tid bits on me. I do think some people like Christian are aware of some of them, but most are unknown to alot of people. Till today that is!

Now on to the next part where I get to forward this award to 5 bloggers that I feel deserve it. And here are those fabulous people;

My soul sista Falen who has the most in-your-face rants and tough love. She owns, and I really mean owns the blog Colorful Rants of a Fed-Up Sista. Falen, I know you already got one of these a few days back but you truly deserve one and I am honored to be the one who is giving it to you again!

Crazy Sam's Blogginess is the whole reason I started my own blog. This guy hails from India and I have wished so many times that he was actually from Pakistan. An over-all great person, but he seems to have lost his blogging mojo. Here's hoping that my award would bring him back and we would be seeing lots of exciting posts from him. You go, Sammy Boy!

A reason I started walking down the road of feeling and looking better is because of this blog; Better by 30. Westopher is the owner of blog and he simply kills it. He's my daily feel good blog to read, plus he posts some sweet eye candy.

Never known him personally but looking at his blog, I can say that he knows his stuff and definitely is a nice guy. I would like to present to you Bi Dude USA which is run by BDNY. He's been silent for a little while but I'm guessing he'd be back with the good stuff really soon. Do check him out!

Last but not the least is a very dear friend of mine Ultimate Intricateness. He presents his unique thinking of how to be a good Muslim and not letting your sexuality effect your faith on Soul Searching Haven. He's an amateur compared to the rest but in the world where your sexuality can throw a curve-ball you need to have the faith to knock it out of the park. And when he posts, you can smell a hit coming a mile away. Simple but elegant, and that is something I like alot from him.

Congratulations to all the blogs receiving this award. Sorry if I missed anyone out, there were some really tough choices to make but I felt these people deserved it the most. New bloggers with new awards coming sometime soon - hopefully!

I Got Style

Yours truly has just been honored the Stylish Blogger Award by the fabulously engaging M@rvin who can be found at Mostly Unfabulous. Free non-alcoholic drinks for all!

So the rules of this award are as follows;

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this high honor; Like duh!
2. Share 7 things about yourself; Are you seriously ready for these juicy bits?
3. Award 5 other bloggers; This one is a toughie!
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award; Sure, why not?! I got nothing better to do!

So here are 7 things that I'm telling in a few sentences. I may or may not do them in a detailed post later, but nothing is for certain now. So here I go and don't you try to stop me;

I Kissed a Girl: But I don't know exactly how I feel about it. It happened in 2009 at a pool party. Her name is Rachael - that is her real name! She was at a party of my cousin's friend and we got along really well. But a kiss was all that really happened. Over all, she's the 3rd of the total 4 people I have kissed!

Bite Me: Before I started this blog, I had a minute stint as an author of True Blood and Vampire Diaries gay erotic fan fiction. I had a whole story line planned for every season and lots of hot steamy sex, however erotic writing isn't my thing and I tend to get bored of it after sometime. Writing about my life and how I feel is much more exciting, in my opinion!

Game Over: I have considered suicide once a very long time ago. I think it was sometime in the beginning of March of 2005. It was the scariest thing I have ever done. I actually considered jumping and just being done with everything however I couldn't go ahead with it. I was chicken but I am so happy I was a chicken!

Country Bumpkin: I have only traveled in a plane once in my entire life and that too I had to do alone and out of Pakistan. Mum was so worried and just about everybody in my family was thinking that I'd get lost or something horrible would happen. However I reached my destination quite safely by the Grace of God.

Just Okay: Yes, I'm 100% gay. However with that being said, I have never found Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, Daniel Radcliffe or any of the Jonas Brothers even minutely attractive. But my heart does occasionally flutter when Taylor Lautner flashes across my screen!

Breakfast in Bed: As my resolution, I have learned how to make french toast, pancakes, coffee, cheese omelette and cheese toasts for breakfast. And now I'm secretly wishing that once in my life I get to serve these to somebody I love!

Jaddu ki Jhappi: I wish I could hug you just so that you don't feel lonely anymore ever again!

There you have it! 

Seven original never read before dirty tid bits on me. I do think some people like Christian are aware of some of them, but most are unknown to alot of people. Till today that is!

Now on to the next part where I get to forward this award to 5 bloggers that I feel deserve it. And here are those fabulous people;

My soul sista Falen who has the most in-your-face rants and tough love. She owns, and I really mean owns the blog Colorful Rants of a Fed-Up Sista. Falen, I know you already got one of these a few days back but you truly deserve one and I am honored to be the one who is giving it to you again!

Crazy Sam's Blogginess is the whole reason I started my own blog. This guy hails from India and I have wished so many times that he was actually from Pakistan. An over-all great person, but he seems to have lost his blogging mojo. Here's hoping that my award would bring him back and we would be seeing lots of exciting posts from him. You go, Sammy Boy!

A reason I started walking down the road of feeling and looking better is because of this blog; Better by 30. Westopher is the owner of blog and he simply kills it. He's my daily feel good blog to read, plus he posts some sweet eye candy.

Never known him personally but looking at his blog, I can say that he knows his stuff and definitely is a nice guy. I would like to present to you Bi Dude USA which is run by BDNY. He's been silent for a little while but I'm guessing he'd be back with the good stuff really soon. Do check him out!

Last but not the least is a very dear friend of mine Ultimate Intricateness. He presents his unique thinking of how to be a good Muslim and not letting your sexuality effect your faith on Soul Searching Haven. He's an amateur compared to the rest but in the world where your sexuality can throw a curve-ball you need to have the faith to knock it out of the park. And when he posts, you can smell a hit coming a mile away. Simple but elegant, and that is something I like alot from him.

Congratulations to all the blogs receiving this award. Sorry if I missed anyone out, there were some really tough choices to make but I felt these people deserved it the most. New bloggers with new awards coming sometime soon - hopefully!

Stronger

Thought it's about time I broke the good news to everyone. I'm officially over Nathan!

I didn't expect it to happen to soon from the way I was sulking the past few months. But slowly and gradually it did get better. And then one morning, I suddenly stopped missing his 'Good Morning' text messages. After that the itch to talk to him and listen to his voice disappeared. The terrible terrible feeling of being hollow on the inside filled itself up. No more Alicia Keys! Bring on Lady GaGa!

We had a great time together. Quite possibly I can say that it was truly the time of my life. But like they say, all good things must come to an end.

Am I mad that our relationship ended?

I was, but not anymore. I can see the flaws in the set up now. Flaws that could not by any means be fixed easily. Holes that required extreme sacrifices that we both were not ready to make. It's not that we didn't want to. It's that we couldn't. We both are the eldest sons of our respective families. Being the eldest son means we have a great responsibility that we have to take on our shoulders in a few years. To be together, our responsibilities may have taken the back seat of our lives. We both were not ready for that ultimate sacrifice. We simply can not let our families down. Also romance in the shadows gets tiring after a while.

Nathan's a great guy. I know I have said it like a gazillion times before but he truly is. Smart, hard working, caring, God-fearing, decent, sharp dresser, fantastic kisser and a brilliant boyfriend. I lucked out big time with him. I won't be changing be my views on him anytime soon. Last night I was talking to this guy who had just gone through a break up. He needed someone to vent out to about his ex. He reads my blog and is aware of Nathan. "Don't you have any complaints about Nathan?", he asked.

"I don't!", I told him.

With Nathan I feel it's impossible. Nathan had expressed very clearly whatever short comings (He calls them 'Short Comings', I don't! ), he felt he had and how they may possibly effect the relationship. In turn, I didn't expect any from him. We rocked our Love Boat!

Yeah, I know he's my Ex for a reason. But that doesn't mean I should have an unhealthy attitude towards him. Plus he taught me alot of things that have helped me grow. Most important of which is to be careful of people who jump to 'I Love You' on the first go.

The growing that I have gone through in the past few months, has evolved my perception on Love. It's not that I'm cynical or deceptive about it. It's that I'm more sure of what to expect from myself and what I can handle. Yeah, I'm still the hot mess I was before. But the mess is now somewhat more refined. If I had to describe my present state in a single word, I'd say 'Stronger'.

Stronger

Thought it's about time I broke the good news to everyone. I'm officially over Nathan!

I didn't expect it to happen to soon from the way I was sulking the past few months. But slowly and gradually it did get better. And then one morning, I suddenly stopped missing his 'Good Morning' text messages. After that the itch to talk to him and listen to his voice disappeared. The terrible terrible feeling of being hollow on the inside filled itself up. No more Alicia Keys! Bring on Lady GaGa!

We had a great time together. Quite possibly I can say that it was truly the time of my life. But like they say, all good things must come to an end.

Am I mad that our relationship ended?

I was, but not anymore. I can see the flaws in the set up now. Flaws that could not by any means be fixed easily. Holes that required extreme sacrifices that we both were not ready to make. It's not that we didn't want to. It's that we couldn't. We both are the eldest sons of our respective families. Being the eldest son means we have a great responsibility that we have to take on our shoulders in a few years. To be together, our responsibilities may have taken the back seat of our lives. We both were not ready for that ultimate sacrifice. We simply can not let our families down. Also romance in the shadows gets tiring after a while.

Nathan's a great guy. I know I have said it like a gazillion times before but he truly is. Smart, hard working, caring, God-fearing, decent, sharp dresser, fantastic kisser and a brilliant boyfriend. I lucked out big time with him. I won't be changing be my views on him anytime soon. Last night I was talking to this guy who had just gone through a break up. He needed someone to vent out to about his ex. He reads my blog and is aware of Nathan. "Don't you have any complaints about Nathan?", he asked.

"I don't!", I told him.

With Nathan I feel it's impossible. Nathan had expressed very clearly whatever short comings (He calls them 'Short Comings', I don't! ), he felt he had and how they may possibly effect the relationship. In turn, I didn't expect any from him. We rocked our Love Boat!

Yeah, I know he's my Ex for a reason. But that doesn't mean I should have an unhealthy attitude towards him. Plus he taught me alot of things that have helped me grow. Most important of which is to be careful of people who jump to 'I Love You' on the first go.

The growing that I have gone through in the past few months, has evolved my perception on Love. It's not that I'm cynical or deceptive about it. It's that I'm more sure of what to expect from myself and what I can handle. Yeah, I'm still the hot mess I was before. But the mess is now somewhat more refined. If I had to describe my present state in a single word, I'd say 'Stronger'.

A Little Understanding Please

I was chatting yesterday to this black dude from Los Angeles on my Facebook. He had read a few of my comments from various notes around the place and actually liked them quite alot. He read my blog and liked a couple of entries, especially the ones on 'Awareness'.

We were exchanging messages as he didn't have a gay profile and was still very much closeted. He was talking to me from his straight profile. He intended to stay that way because his father is an extremely homophobic person and he was pretty darn sure that if he ever came out, he is going to be disowned. He was a little older than me, 25 years old. I kind of felt sorry for him but it wasn't my place to say anything.

It was around the ninth message exchange, when he asked me where I am from. I told him that I am from Pakistan, as stated on the blog and my Facebook profile. He asked me if I was pulling his leg or something. I laughed at his disbelief. When I told him the same thing again, he was really surprised. He had presumed that I was from somewhere in the States, having grown up in a Pakistani Muslim household. Not true! I'm completely Desi, or as close to being Desi is possible for me. I have stayed in Pakistan and been bought up here entirely. Yes, my command over English language is good - but it is by no means 'great', there are much better writers out there. I can only thank my parents, teachers and various authors to develop my interest in the English Language.

After learning that little fact about me, there was silence from him for quite some time. It came as a little surprising to me but I tried to shake it off thinking that he probably went offline or something. A few minutes later I got another message from him asking if I had a bomb on myself.

Lord, I can't begin tell you how much that comment pissed me off. Why do people just simply assume as terrorists? The entire time I had spent exchanging messages with him and this is what he thinks of me. Some crazy terrorist! I really wanted to tell him off but then you don't answer ignorance with anger. I tried explaining to him that not all Pakistani or even not all Muslims are like that. Islam is a very peaceful religion and it definitely doesn't promote terrorism. People who call themselves terrorist do not belong to any religion because NO religion propagates killing of the innocent. Being a terrorist is not a profession. There have been so many brilliant people amongst us. Doctors, engineers, craftsmen, musicians, artists, lawyers and what not. Name any profession and we had at least one shining star. There could be more; Alot more, if given the proper resources. Pakistan has ALOT of talent which just needs polishing, but that is a completely different topic altogether. So I explained my point of view to him. He told me that he is really scared of bomb and would hate to die in one - God Forbid.

I told him not to worry and just pray to God for the safety of his loved ones and himself - because that is all he could do. Nobody knows when they are going to die, so the best thing to do is to just pray for a long happy life. He sent me a message with a single smiley in response. A few hours later, he had deleted his profile. I wish I had taken his email address or something. But I don't think it would be off any use. Some people just refuse to see what's right in front of them.

The incident from yesterday brought back an unpleasant but slightly funny memory from the summer of 2009, when I was in America. I used to go out for walks in the evening. Lots of nice empty roads in the suburbs to walk on without worrying about dogs coming after you. Plus the weather was so amazing that I really didn't want to be cooped up in the house. As I would go around walking, there would be this one kid. He was probably in his late teens. He used to work as a gardener in that neighborhood. Sometimes when I would pass, he would smile at me and I would return it. Never ignore a smile unless it's coming from a creepy stranger who is giving you a weird look. We never really stopped to talk. One day he was sitting on the sidewalk taking a break and I happened to be just passing by. "Hey!", he shouted seeing me.

"Hey back at you!", I replied. Is that how you reply?, I thought. "Man", I added at the last moment.

"You walk around here alot! Didn't you see around before the summer! Did you move here recently?", he asked me.

"Oh, no! I'm just visiting my aunt!" I told him.

"That's cool! I can't quite place you're accent! Where are you from?" he asked.

"That's probably because I'm from Pakistan!", I told him with a smile. It's nice to give a smile every once now and then in a casual non-serious conversation. Mentioning the P-word was all that needed to make him shit in his bermudas. He literally went wide-eyed.

"Nice!", he replied. "Talk to you later. Gotta work!"

I guessed what set him off. It wasn't like I was standing there with a jacket made of dynamite, but from the expression on his face one could guess I had an entire houseful of them. He could have taken me down easily. He was definitely more muscled than me and a few inches taller. The rest of the summer when I would walk by, no response from him. Sometimes if I smiled, I would get one in return. I silently hoped that I could go back again this summer and scare him again. But I spend a much better summer with Nathan right here. Also the slight crush I had developed on him ended immediately. Phoof!

I seriously don't understand why are Muslims presumed as such a taboo. Give yourself the chance to get to know us better, we actually quite an educated and civilized bunch. It's wrong to presume things. Give us a chance and you guys will seriously be making really awesome friends. Besides the obvious point that your assumptions are wrong, they are also quite hurtful to us. We love our religion, just like you guys love yours. So what is in us that makes you people so scared of us?

A Little Understanding Please

I was chatting yesterday to this black dude from Los Angeles on my Facebook. He had read a few of my comments from various notes around the place and actually liked them quite alot. He read my blog and liked a couple of entries, especially the ones on 'Awareness'.

We were exchanging messages as he didn't have a gay profile and was still very much closeted. He was talking to me from his straight profile. He intended to stay that way because his father is an extremely homophobic person and he was pretty darn sure that if he ever came out, he is going to be disowned. He was a little older than me, 25 years old. I kind of felt sorry for him but it wasn't my place to say anything.

It was around the ninth message exchange, when he asked me where I am from. I told him that I am from Pakistan, as stated on the blog and my Facebook profile. He asked me if I was pulling his leg or something. I laughed at his disbelief. When I told him the same thing again, he was really surprised. He had presumed that I was from somewhere in the States, having grown up in a Pakistani Muslim household. Not true! I'm completely Desi, or as close to being Desi is possible for me. I have stayed in Pakistan and been bought up here entirely. Yes, my command over English language is good - but it is by no means 'great', there are much better writers out there. I can only thank my parents, teachers and various authors to develop my interest in the English Language.

After learning that little fact about me, there was silence from him for quite some time. It came as a little surprising to me but I tried to shake it off thinking that he probably went offline or something. A few minutes later I got another message from him asking if I had a bomb on myself.

Lord, I can't begin tell you how much that comment pissed me off. Why do people just simply assume as terrorists? The entire time I had spent exchanging messages with him and this is what he thinks of me. Some crazy terrorist! I really wanted to tell him off but then you don't answer ignorance with anger. I tried explaining to him that not all Pakistani or even not all Muslims are like that. Islam is a very peaceful religion and it definitely doesn't promote terrorism. People who call themselves terrorist do not belong to any religion because NO religion propagates killing of the innocent. Being a terrorist is not a profession. There have been so many brilliant people amongst us. Doctors, engineers, craftsmen, musicians, artists, lawyers and what not. Name any profession and we had at least one shining star. There could be more; Alot more, if given the proper resources. Pakistan has ALOT of talent which just needs polishing, but that is a completely different topic altogether. So I explained my point of view to him. He told me that he is really scared of bomb and would hate to die in one - God Forbid.

I told him not to worry and just pray to God for the safety of his loved ones and himself - because that is all he could do. Nobody knows when they are going to die, so the best thing to do is to just pray for a long happy life. He sent me a message with a single smiley in response. A few hours later, he had deleted his profile. I wish I had taken his email address or something. But I don't think it would be off any use. Some people just refuse to see what's right in front of them.

The incident from yesterday brought back an unpleasant but slightly funny memory from the summer of 2009, when I was in America. I used to go out for walks in the evening. Lots of nice empty roads in the suburbs to walk on without worrying about dogs coming after you. Plus the weather was so amazing that I really didn't want to be cooped up in the house. As I would go around walking, there would be this one kid. He was probably in his late teens. He used to work as a gardener in that neighborhood. Sometimes when I would pass, he would smile at me and I would return it. Never ignore a smile unless it's coming from a creepy stranger who is giving you a weird look. We never really stopped to talk. One day he was sitting on the sidewalk taking a break and I happened to be just passing by. "Hey!", he shouted seeing me.

"Hey back at you!", I replied. Is that how you reply?, I thought. "Man", I added at the last moment.

"You walk around here alot! Didn't you see around before the summer! Did you move here recently?", he asked me.

"Oh, no! I'm just visiting my aunt!" I told him.

"That's cool! I can't quite place you're accent! Where are you from?" he asked.

"That's probably because I'm from Pakistan!", I told him with a smile. It's nice to give a smile every once now and then in a casual non-serious conversation. Mentioning the P-word was all that needed to make him shit in his bermudas. He literally went wide-eyed.

"Nice!", he replied. "Talk to you later. Gotta work!"

I guessed what set him off. It wasn't like I was standing there with a jacket made of dynamite, but from the expression on his face one could guess I had an entire houseful of them. He could have taken me down easily. He was definitely more muscled than me and a few inches taller. The rest of the summer when I would walk by, no response from him. Sometimes if I smiled, I would get one in return. I silently hoped that I could go back again this summer and scare him again. But I spend a much better summer with Nathan right here. Also the slight crush I had developed on him ended immediately. Phoof!

I seriously don't understand why are Muslims presumed as such a taboo. Give yourself the chance to get to know us better, we actually quite an educated and civilized bunch. It's wrong to presume things. Give us a chance and you guys will seriously be making really awesome friends. Besides the obvious point that your assumptions are wrong, they are also quite hurtful to us. We love our religion, just like you guys love yours. So what is in us that makes you people so scared of us?

Cherry On Top

I got my very first blog award from Falen, author of Colorful Rants of a Fed Up Sista and so I had to make a post about it. I will be shamelessly whoring this one out, you know because I really don't see myself getting another one. LOL!

So the rules of the award go as follows;

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you

2. Copy the award and put it in your blog

3. List three things you love about yourself

4. Post a picture you love

So as specified, thanks alot Falen!! You've been following my blog since the past month and a half or something like that. Your first appearance with the most amazing comment on the post All The Lovers (And Haters) and have been coloring my blog with you're feisty sassy persona. You know something; For a chick, you are pretty awesome! Kidd'in! ;)

Three things I love about myself! Well I love that I'm creative and I don't sit down quietly in doing things as people would normally expect me. I like to do things and do them on my own terms in my own style. A 100% original one-of-a-kind Phunkiness!!

Another thing I can lord out and about is that I'm very optimistic. It takes something really big to pull me down, people who know me often remark how can I smile and laugh all the time. Ryan finds that a little freaky because he believes anybody who is as happy as me needs to be checked out by a shrink!

Lastly, I keep on meeting amazing and wonderful people where ever I go. I know I've butted with quite a few heads but I'm very thankful for all the heads who butted other heads with me or for me. You make the world go round for me!

Lastly I have to share with y'all a picture I love, so here goes nothing;

I also will be spreading the love and forward this award to a few of my fellow bloggers, I shall be posting that list soon. I tried doing it right now, but the links kept messing up! :(

Also I've added a chat box in the side-bar on the right side of the screen, so feel free to drop a line anytime for anything you feel like!

Cherry On Top

I got my very first blog award from Falen, author of Colorful Rants of a Fed Up Sista and so I had to make a post about it. I will be shamelessly whoring this one out, you know because I really don't see myself getting another one. LOL!

So the rules of the award go as follows;

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you

2. Copy the award and put it in your blog

3. List three things you love about yourself

4. Post a picture you love

So as specified, thanks alot Falen!! You've been following my blog since the past month and a half or something like that. Your first appearance with the most amazing comment on the post All The Lovers (And Haters) and have been coloring my blog with you're feisty sassy persona. You know something; For a chick, you are pretty awesome! Kidd'in! ;)

Three things I love about myself! Well I love that I'm creative and I don't sit down quietly in doing things as people would normally expect me. I like to do things and do them on my own terms in my own style. A 100% original one-of-a-kind Phunkiness!!

Another thing I can lord out and about is that I'm very optimistic. It takes something really big to pull me down, people who know me often remark how can I smile and laugh all the time. Ryan finds that a little freaky because he believes anybody who is as happy as me needs to be checked out by a shrink!

Lastly, I keep on meeting amazing and wonderful people where ever I go. I know I've butted with quite a few heads but I'm very thankful for all the heads who butted other heads with me or for me. You make the world go round for me!

Lastly I have to share with y'all a picture I love, so here goes nothing;

I also will be spreading the love and forward this award to a few of my fellow bloggers, I shall be posting that list soon. I tried doing it right now, but the links kept messing up! :(

Also I've added a chat box in the side-bar on the right side of the screen, so feel free to drop a line anytime for anything you feel like!

Oy Vey

I was catching up with an old friend yesterday.We were talking after about five months, so he had absolutely no idea that I was seeing someone. He was surprised when I ran this detail across him which lead him to asking some other stuff. As the discussion progressed, it reached the topic of getting intimate. He wanted to know the details, but obviously that wasn't something up for sharing. No, I didn't blow him like I did with the last guy who asked me the same question. Plus I've known him since about two years and we do have a conversation every now and then. Also he's just 16 so I really didn't feel like biting his head off. He's a super nice kid!

When I declined splurging the details, he proceeded to ask me how I felt about it. Now that was something I could tell, so I did. It felt great! Best thing in the world! A high like no other! A roller-coaster ride I would never get sick of! A ticket that would put Mr. Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket to shame!, and similar sorts. As I was telling him about it, I added that it was my first time as well and that it couldn't have gone any better.

To say that he was surprised would actually be an understatement. He was pretty taken back to know that I was 22 and I just did it for the very first-time, especially since I've been pretty sure about my sexuality since I was 16. Normally I wouldn't spring this topic, but it's a common reaction I've been getting when people get to know about it.

So far I've gotten a few "No way! Seriously?" and "WTF!". There was also one "You gotta be kidding me!" and a for sure original "Oh My GaGa!". So yeah, everybody gets pretty darned surprise and that leaves me thinking; When do most guys do it for the first time?

I've created a poll for you, which can be found at the top of the side-bar. The voting would close on September 13th 2010, also I'll be posting the next part of this topic on the same day or a day after. Doesn't matter if you're straight, gay or bi. If you've done the nasty, I'd like to know when! And if you're a girl, ask you boyfriend/husband when was his first time. If you haven't yet, I'm pretty sure the conversation to follow will be pretty interesting for you.

Adios, amigos!

Oy Vey

I was catching up with an old friend yesterday.We were talking after about five months, so he had absolutely no idea that I was seeing someone. He was surprised when I ran this detail across him which lead him to asking some other stuff. As the discussion progressed, it reached the topic of getting intimate. He wanted to know the details, but obviously that wasn't something up for sharing. No, I didn't blow him like I did with the last guy who asked me the same question. Plus I've known him since about two years and we do have a conversation every now and then. Also he's just 16 so I really didn't feel like biting his head off. He's a super nice kid!

When I declined splurging the details, he proceeded to ask me how I felt about it. Now that was something I could tell, so I did. It felt great! Best thing in the world! A high like no other! A roller-coaster ride I would never get sick of! A ticket that would put Mr. Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket to shame!, and similar sorts. As I was telling him about it, I added that it was my first time as well and that it couldn't have gone any better.

To say that he was surprised would actually be an understatement. He was pretty taken back to know that I was 22 and I just did it for the very first-time, especially since I've been pretty sure about my sexuality since I was 16. Normally I wouldn't spring this topic, but it's a common reaction I've been getting when people get to know about it.

So far I've gotten a few "No way! Seriously?" and "WTF!". There was also one "You gotta be kidding me!" and a for sure original "Oh My GaGa!". So yeah, everybody gets pretty darned surprise and that leaves me thinking; When do most guys do it for the first time?

I've created a poll for you, which can be found at the top of the side-bar. The voting would close on September 13th 2010, also I'll be posting the next part of this topic on the same day or a day after. Doesn't matter if you're straight, gay or bi. If you've done the nasty, I'd like to know when! And if you're a girl, ask you boyfriend/husband when was his first time. If you haven't yet, I'm pretty sure the conversation to follow will be pretty interesting for you.

Adios, amigos!

Monster Boyfriend

Towards the end of his stay, Nathan and I couldn't manage to meet as often as we wanted to. He had some things going on in his family that required his immediate attention, thankfully the situation got resolved before he left. I was busy in my cousin's wedding, being one of the few able young men around and the only one of these young men on vacations, I was taking somebody or the other shopping almost every other day. We both were absolutely hating it but we couldn't do anything about. Bless text messaging, otherwise I seriously don't know how we would have managed.

Later on, Nathan's stay got extended and we had 5 more days where I won't have a wedding to worry about and Nathan was free as well. However things didn't go as planned because in those 5 days violence erupted in Karachi bringing everything to a halt and when the violence subsided it rained on our parade...literally!

The wedding was originally supposed to happen on 3rd August, which was exactly the second day of violence. Needless to say the wedding was postponed and that too, for the third time. Earlier it was because the girl's grand-mother had to go under knee surgery and the wedding needed to take place after she had recuperated. After that it was delayed because the groom's sister couldn't make it in time because she had her post-graduation exams. Keeping all that in mind, the families of both sides decided that the wedding would take place as soon as the situation gets better. Wednesday night we got the call that the wedding was on Friday, I was expecting it to be next week. With the wedding being on Friday, the groom's family decided to hold the reception the very next day. The reception was originally supposed to happen on Wednesday.

I was in the most horrible mood ever but after some talking, we decided to meet on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Nathan was flying back Sunday night. We couldn't meet for as long as we would have liked but given the situation, even a few moments would be amazing. But Lady Luck wasn't kind to us and just as we met on Saturday, it started raining very heavily. My mum started freaking out and told me to come home immediately. We must have been together for like 15 minutes only. Having no choice, we hugged quickly and said our good-byes. As I drove home, it started to rain cats and dogs. This was my first ever time driving in the rain and I was shit-scared. The adrenaline rush that surged through my body was the only thing that kept me going as I drove through bumper to bumper traffic in heavy rain continuously wiping the inside of the wind-shield and keeping my nerves from getting the best of me. It took me about and hour and half to reach home, that's about 30 minutes more than usual.

After the heavy rain on Saturday, we couldn't meet on Sunday. Primarily because Nathan still had some shopping to do that he couldn't get done the day earlier and also because my mum was in no way letting me drive with black clouds looming over the city. To say that I was pissed, would be a minor statement. Nathan maintained his cool really well. He kept telling me that we tried out best but given the circumstances we were most likely to loose. I wish I would have done the same but I wasn't. I had transformed into the gruesome creature I refer to as Monster Boyfriend!

Who or exactly what is a Monster Boyfriend?, you may ask.

A monster boyfriend is a clingy, self-absorbed, possessive, inconsiderate, short-tempered, inquisitive, creepy freak that refuses to take 'No' for an answer and has completely lost the ability to see or hear anything beyond himself. He diverts the conversation when it's not going as planned and keeps asking nagging questions that are only of his best interest. He has the uncanny ability to throw tantrums at the drop of a hat and is constantly begging for affection. That was me all the time yesterday except just before Nathan was about to board the plane.

In the small break we took when Nathan had to load the car and, go around hugging and saying good-byes to his relatives I cycled back through the messages we had exchanged during the day. And it hit me like lightening! I was such a pain in the ass to the poor kid. He had so much stuff to do and so little time to do it all in, I should have known better. I should have been supportive and not miserable.

Surprisingly Nathan didn't get mad or anything, which also makes my head hang low in shame. He cracked his jokes, kept reminding me that would be back next year and that he loves me. He knew I was going through a hard-time but never did he once snap back, complain and make any sort of drama. I knew this moment would come and I thought I would be ready for it. I thought I would be able to let go easily but with the plans of meeting up not working out I guess I got frustrated. Also possibly the fact that Nathan was very cool about the entire thing made him the most likely target for my hits.

I apologized for my behavior when we were exchanging messages, he was sitting in the waiting lounge at that time. I felt really bad but he kept telling me not to think too much over it and to be brave. So now I'm trying to be brave which basically means no stalking his Facebook updates, no sending him IMs on Yahoo! after every half an hour or sending him ridiculous scraps on Orkut. Yes, I've done all that previously at various moments over the past few months when he wasn't in Pakistan. Besides he's probably sleeping right now which is cool. He didn't get to do much of that yesterday with the last minute shopping and packing.

The good thing is that with him being back home, he would be able to be online. You just maybe able to read his version of the story and his blog. And I have to admit, even I'm kinda excited. But yeah, it's perfectly okay if he doesn't. No more being the Monster Boyfriend for me!

Monster Boyfriend

Towards the end of his stay, Nathan and I couldn't manage to meet as often as we wanted to. He had some things going on in his family that required his immediate attention, thankfully the situation got resolved before he left. I was busy in my cousin's wedding, being one of the few able young men around and the only one of these young men on vacations, I was taking somebody or the other shopping almost every other day. We both were absolutely hating it but we couldn't do anything about. Bless text messaging, otherwise I seriously don't know how we would have managed.

Later on, Nathan's stay got extended and we had 5 more days where I won't have a wedding to worry about and Nathan was free as well. However things didn't go as planned because in those 5 days violence erupted in Karachi bringing everything to a halt and when the violence subsided it rained on our parade...literally!

The wedding was originally supposed to happen on 3rd August, which was exactly the second day of violence. Needless to say the wedding was postponed and that too, for the third time. Earlier it was because the girl's grand-mother had to go under knee surgery and the wedding needed to take place after she had recuperated. After that it was delayed because the groom's sister couldn't make it in time because she had her post-graduation exams. Keeping all that in mind, the families of both sides decided that the wedding would take place as soon as the situation gets better. Wednesday night we got the call that the wedding was on Friday, I was expecting it to be next week. With the wedding being on Friday, the groom's family decided to hold the reception the very next day. The reception was originally supposed to happen on Wednesday.

I was in the most horrible mood ever but after some talking, we decided to meet on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Nathan was flying back Sunday night. We couldn't meet for as long as we would have liked but given the situation, even a few moments would be amazing. But Lady Luck wasn't kind to us and just as we met on Saturday, it started raining very heavily. My mum started freaking out and told me to come home immediately. We must have been together for like 15 minutes only. Having no choice, we hugged quickly and said our good-byes. As I drove home, it started to rain cats and dogs. This was my first ever time driving in the rain and I was shit-scared. The adrenaline rush that surged through my body was the only thing that kept me going as I drove through bumper to bumper traffic in heavy rain continuously wiping the inside of the wind-shield and keeping my nerves from getting the best of me. It took me about and hour and half to reach home, that's about 30 minutes more than usual.

After the heavy rain on Saturday, we couldn't meet on Sunday. Primarily because Nathan still had some shopping to do that he couldn't get done the day earlier and also because my mum was in no way letting me drive with black clouds looming over the city. To say that I was pissed, would be a minor statement. Nathan maintained his cool really well. He kept telling me that we tried out best but given the circumstances we were most likely to loose. I wish I would have done the same but I wasn't. I had transformed into the gruesome creature I refer to as Monster Boyfriend!

Who or exactly what is a Monster Boyfriend?, you may ask.

A monster boyfriend is a clingy, self-absorbed, possessive, inconsiderate, short-tempered, inquisitive, creepy freak that refuses to take 'No' for an answer and has completely lost the ability to see or hear anything beyond himself. He diverts the conversation when it's not going as planned and keeps asking nagging questions that are only of his best interest. He has the uncanny ability to throw tantrums at the drop of a hat and is constantly begging for affection. That was me all the time yesterday except just before Nathan was about to board the plane.

In the small break we took when Nathan had to load the car and, go around hugging and saying good-byes to his relatives I cycled back through the messages we had exchanged during the day. And it hit me like lightening! I was such a pain in the ass to the poor kid. He had so much stuff to do and so little time to do it all in, I should have known better. I should have been supportive and not miserable.

Surprisingly Nathan didn't get mad or anything, which also makes my head hang low in shame. He cracked his jokes, kept reminding me that would be back next year and that he loves me. He knew I was going through a hard-time but never did he once snap back, complain and make any sort of drama. I knew this moment would come and I thought I would be ready for it. I thought I would be able to let go easily but with the plans of meeting up not working out I guess I got frustrated. Also possibly the fact that Nathan was very cool about the entire thing made him the most likely target for my hits.

I apologized for my behavior when we were exchanging messages, he was sitting in the waiting lounge at that time. I felt really bad but he kept telling me not to think too much over it and to be brave. So now I'm trying to be brave which basically means no stalking his Facebook updates, no sending him IMs on Yahoo! after every half an hour or sending him ridiculous scraps on Orkut. Yes, I've done all that previously at various moments over the past few months when he wasn't in Pakistan. Besides he's probably sleeping right now which is cool. He didn't get to do much of that yesterday with the last minute shopping and packing.

The good thing is that with him being back home, he would be able to be online. You just maybe able to read his version of the story and his blog. And I have to admit, even I'm kinda excited. But yeah, it's perfectly okay if he doesn't. No more being the Monster Boyfriend for me!

Pocketful Of Sunshine

If you kiss someone with feeling...they know it...and you know it...it's like...it's like everything else goes grey and you're the only two left in the whole world!

- Marc St. James

Nathan and I decided not to blog about the events of yesterday. Sorry people! But this one moment, we would like to keep entirely to ourselves. Perhaps some future sessions would make an appearance on the blog, but not our first one.

However we thought it would be rude to leave you clueless so we each decided to blog about the part we liked the best about yesterday, a moment of the entire proceeding we will never forget. Nathan's epic moment was when the way I looked at him when I was on top of him and I had his face in my hands.

My unforgettable moment came when we were kissing and the song 'Pocketful of Sunshine' started playing in the background from the movie we were running to drown out our moaning and groaning. The lyrics were so rightfully placed for the moment.

  Take me away, A secret place

A sweet escape, Take me away

Take me away, To better days

Take me away, A hiding place

You can check out the official video of the song over here. I feel like staying in that moment forever, but if I do. I won't be able to witness the many brilliant moments I'm sure would be coming later. Till the next time, adios!

Pocketful Of Sunshine

If you kiss someone with feeling...they know it...and you know it...it's like...it's like everything else goes grey and you're the only two left in the whole world!

- Marc St. James

Nathan and I decided not to blog about the events of yesterday. Sorry people! But this one moment, we would like to keep entirely to ourselves. Perhaps some future sessions would make an appearance on the blog, but not our first one.

However we thought it would be rude to leave you clueless so we each decided to blog about the part we liked the best about yesterday, a moment of the entire proceeding we will never forget. Nathan's epic moment was when the way I looked at him when I was on top of him and I had his face in my hands.

My unforgettable moment came when we were kissing and the song 'Pocketful of Sunshine' started playing in the background from the movie we were running to drown out our moaning and groaning. The lyrics were so rightfully placed for the moment.

  Take me away, A secret place

A sweet escape, Take me away

Take me away, To better days

Take me away, A hiding place

You can check out the official video of the song over here. I feel like staying in that moment forever, but if I do. I won't be able to witness the many brilliant moments I'm sure would be coming later. Till the next time, adios!

Nathan and the City

This post is going to be even longer than the previous one, so please bear with me. I'm going to try and make it as short as possible without skipping any details. So if you are interested in knowing how the second date went, I suggest that you read on.
Nathan messaged me around 3:54 pm hoping that I've already left. His aunts had decided to come to meet him in the evening, so he had to return home before 7 pm. But he didn't want to compromise on the date as well. Neither did I! I met him the past Saturday but just knowing that he's here in the same city has me constantly over the edge. We both want to meet everyday, but we both also know that it's not really possible for us. I was half-way ready, so I grabbed my shoes and ran to the car. I wore the shoes in the car onthe way! It felt like a scene from Mr. Bean series. Everytime the car reached a traffic signal and I knew I had a few good minutes I slipped my shoe on. It was pure mayhem!

Just as I got through the shoe dilemma, I realized that in the hurry to leave I forgot to grab the books Nathan had asked me to bring. Thank God I hadn't forgotten the USB containing a few movies and the latest True Blood episode I was taking to surprise him. I can't bring him a net connection but I can get him some entertainment to make his time easier.

I was at the point of meeting at 4:47 pm and I messaged Nathan. He lives quite near to that place, so it takes him only 2 to 3 minutes to get there. And right at 4:50 pm, Nathan strides in wearing a cool blue shirt and dark blue denim jeans that clung loosely to his lanky legs. I swear ever since I've seen him, I got some weird leg fetish. The weird thing is, it only involves Nathan's legs. Yeah, who ever thought fetish could be faithful?!

We hugged and it felt so good. His body radiated a casual warmth, and it was so relaxing. I never knew what people meant when they said melting in arms till we hugged for the first time. The hug is most definitely a high point of the date. I look forward to it alot. That's the most we can be in physical contact with each other in public. I know it's not exactly how I would like it to be, but it's the best we can do in public. Wemoved towards the actual place we had decided to go visit. This time we had decided on Nandoes, I don't know how many of you are aware of it. It's a chain of restaurants that specialize in African-Italian cuisine.

I wanted to go here because it's one of my favorite places to go to, but Nathan had heard the opposite. I asked a couple of my friends to find out if others shared the same opinion. And they did! People here love Nandoes! So Nathan gave Nandoes the green light!

We seated on a table for two and placed the orders. They had removed the pastas recipes from their menu, that was a major bummer for me because I wanted Nathan to try it. We both are big pasta-holics. I ordered the spicy rice with chicken strips in gravy while Nathan had a crazy looking but yummy sandwich. The place was mostly empty. There was a table filled with crazy teenagers who were celebrating a birthday, a group of girls on another table, two girls sitting on another and one table had a group of men in business suits. Now this feels like a real date, I thought to myself!

Nathan asked me about how my test went which I sat for earlier today, but the conversation quickly shifted from it to cars, medicine, engineering, teachers. I shared my view about how the professors teach mostly girls and tend to ignore the boys. Nathan, having been on both sides of the fence, told me that girls tend to interact with the teacher more and boys are mostly there because they have to be. He told me how he felt the same thing as a student, but he makes sure as a teacher to teach the guys as well.

When the food arrived, Nathan told me that he had lunch a while before coming over so he isn't going to be having the whole of his burger. I hadn't ate anything since the morning because I was too anxious and tense about the test. The food was great and Nathan agreed, which was a complete delight for me. I was scared that he won't like it and he would eat even less than he normally does.

As the date progressed I realized how easy this all is. We never seemed to run out of topics to talk about. Before I had met him, I thought that I would be doing most of the talkings because I speak alot more than he does. But it felt so cool and smooth to be engaged in a conversation that had laughs, giggles and thoughts that would make you think. Honestly speaking it seemed like two great friends having an amazing time, if you minus all the sexual volleys we were throwing at eachother. Nathan could not finish the whole of his burger so he cut me a piece. I was already pretty satisfied with what I had ordered, so before he could say anything I placed the dibs on the smaller piece. After the burger vanished, we had a slice of cheesecake. I'm not the biggest fan of cheesecakes, but Nathan is crazy about them. But I can honestly say this that I have never enjoyed a slice of cheesecake as much as I enjoyed it today. We asked for the bill and after paying, Nathan asked me if I wanted to tag along as he needs to check out a book store and a CD store.

When I asked why, he told me that he got out with this excuse and if he returns empty handed, there would be some serious questioning. "You can always take me home, you know!", I suggested in my naughtiest possible tone.

"You don't get things like this in a store!", Nathan replied.

"Why, thank you!" I smiled. "Wait, that was a compliment, right?", I asked after a pause.

"Go figure!", Nathan winked.

We boarded a tuk-tuk to another near-by market, I was totally against it because this place was hell expensive and they over-charge for the same produce you get at another place. I kept eating Nathan's brain that I'll take him to that place on Saturday, not to buy whatever he wanted from here. But he didn't listen. He specifically told me not to say anything when we reached the place, but I'm not as obedient as you guys think.

When he gave the list to the shop-keepers, I gave it a quick look and announced loudly not to bother with a few of the titles. I didn't want him to spend his hard earned money over here, Nathan was smiling in a weird way when I was telling the shop-keeper what not to bring. I didn't care, like I said he's not wasting his money in this tinsel dump!

In the end, Nathan managed to buy only 3 of the 8 titles he had planned to get. He placed the orders for 2 of them, the rest I'm going with him on Saturday to get them. After that we went to a book-store. In the rickshaw, Nathan told me I shouldn't get this hyper. And I teased him that he should let me do his shopping for him. "Are you my boyfriend or my secretary?", he said.

"Depends! Who gets to have sex with you!", I whispered. Nathan laughed, this was turning out to be a really amazing day for me.

I always had a secret fantasy of going book shopping with my boyfriend, but I never imagined it happening. And in that small shop, I saw my dream come true. Nathan was talking to the guy behind the counter for a book his mom had asked him to find out about, I moved on to the shelves thinking about how unreal this is. I recalled the dialogue, or some parts of it that Carrie speaks as she stands in the City Hall and decides that this is the place she is going to marry Big.

It was perfect. Big and and I would be married in the classic New York landmark that housed all the great love stories.

Please disagree with the thought about me being m a huge drama-queen, that has just popped into my head as I'm typing this entry. The shop had two rows with another self in between. There were towers and towers of book with no proper orders. I know it's no City Hall and I also know that my beloved city is no New York, and it will never really will be. But for that moment, I felt this love story took a big leap forward for me. Little did I know, it took a huge step forward for him as well which he revealed to me after the date ended totally on his own.

I was just walking with my mind completely somewhere else and suddenly Nathan showed up in front of me browsing the books. "Fancy running into you here!", I acted in surprise.

Nathan sensed something naughty about me. "One step forward and someone will be running!"

"You towards me?", I teased. Nathan stamped his foot on the ground as if trying to scare a kitten away. This was a perfect spot to get all touchy touchy but Nathan kept pushing me away. It wasn't like I was groping him or anything, but I kept creeping closer just to tease him.

"There are people on the other side of the shelf!", he whispered.

"So?", I asked.

"Let go off my hand!", he said with a crooked smile. Had the door not directly been facing towards us I would have pulled him into a hug, but sadly I also lacked abit of courage then. But there was no disagreement to the fact that we were enjoying immensely. The teasing continued in the tuk-tuk all the way back to the mall. Nathan asked if I wanted him to wait till the driver brought my car, it was abit before 7. I didn't want him to be late so I set him off on his way. We hugged once again and once again, I melted. Sadly it was on the road so we couldn't hug for long.

Fifteen minutes later I was driving home with my mind buzzing about the amazing moments of today's dates, when Nathan messaged me something fabulous that had me worried for a past couple of days. Can't post about that right now, Nathan's calling. But I promise I'll get to that soon!