I Should Have Kissed You

It was 1st of August. Ramadan would be starting the very next day. Josh's exams would be starting in two weeks. We will not be able to meet for at least a month, so we had decided to meet one last time to hold us off and get us through. This meeting was not planned ahead. It happened very spontaneously. Josh asked me out in response to my 'Good Morning' text. "I'd love to but can you make time?", I asked him.

"We won't go far." he replied so I agreed.

"Oh and I'll be picking you up. Cool?", he asked.

"Super cool!", I replied. Normally I would have been hesitant but with us living very close together, I knew he would not be going out of his way to pick me up. I wasn't a fan of the fact that he didn't trust my skills behind the wheel but in such cases, it's best not to make such people feel that they are being neurotic.

I told him that he should study as his afternoon would be taken up by me, it was a real task convincing him. He kept promising that he would start as soon as he got back home from the date. But I was strict and stubborn. I told him that I would call the whole thing off if he doesn't study right now. I would confess that I had no plans of doing such a thing, however desperate times call for desperate measures.

I was still getting ready when Josh text messaged me that he's waiting at the corner of the street where I told him to wait. It took me about ten minutes to get to him, and I apologized for the delay. "It's okay. I know girls take time getting ready!", he teased.

"Obviously. We want to look good for our man!", I contributed to his joke. We went to a near by mall. The date was uneventful to be honest so I would not be blogging about it later at Coffee & Boys. We walked around alot and ate tons of Gelato. We kept going back for more trying new flavors and relishing the ones that were our sure fire favorites. We even had ice-cream with our garlic mayo french fries. Yes, it was one full fat love affair but with Ramadan starting, we knew we would shed it off somehow. At least Josh was sure - the dude has gone terribly skinny since he hit adolescence.

We were on our tenth or twelfth cup when Josh got a call from his mother. She was going out for grocery shopping, and the house would be empty. Josh told her that he has the keys so it's not a problem and that he would be home soon. He disconnected and we walked around abit more. "Hey. Would you mind if we go back to my place and..?", he stopped mid sentence.

Being the naturally smart( Read; Horny) person that I am, I guessed what he wanted to know. "Get intimate?", I completed. He nodded sheepishly. I nodded happily back. We left the mall instantly and got into his car.

No sooner had I agreed to it that the great 'Kissing Josh' debate exploded in my head like a nuclear bomb. It was all I could think about. The same thoughts that had been plaguing my mind recently started their war dance full force. Both the sides were equally adamant of claiming victory. Pushing forward and towards each other, just as one side would inch forward pushing the other back the other would retaliate and gain ground once again. It was the nastiest mental tug of war ever.

I would tell you right now that this had been going on in my head since the past few weeks. I had even confided about it to a couple of friends. And now it's your turn to get the scoop. I wanted to kiss Josh. I wanted to kiss Josh really bad. My lips had gone dry, parched and quite possibly a little swollen from all the time I was biting them looking at Josh's lip move as he talked. The last time I had made out with someone was July 12th 2010. It had been a year of nobody but my hand. I wanted to hold someone close and tug at their lips, drink into their warmness and let the senses run wild. And here was the perfect guy for the task. An absolutely adorable guy who I could literally eat up in a second.

However all my impulses to throw myself at Josh were entirely carnal. I did not feel it in my heart for him, and I knew it. I knew perfectly well that feeling you have when you want someone with you. I have experienced that high before, and this was nothing like that high. It seemed more out of necessity and desperation that I had pursued Josh. Because I did not want to be alone. What made it all even worse was that I was pretty sure about what Josh felt for me. I knew he had taken the bait and had been reeled in.

I thought that maybe if I kiss him, I would feel something. Anything! But what if I felt absolutely nothing except that inner hunger of getting physical finally being fed a prime steak. I am not the world's best kisser by any means. Till the date of this event, I had kissed just two guys. It's like my friends say - I'm a frigg'in lesbian!

"Josh, I can't kiss you just yet.", I told him all of a sudden. It vomited out of my mouth. I had no idea how close we were to his place when I told him this dirty little secret.

"Why?", he asked. He was clearly hurt.

"I'm not ready yet.", I told him. I could not even look at him right now. I was most definitely the most pathetic person ever in his eyes because of this tirade. "Don't ask me anything more please. I swear it's not you. It's me!", I added. Oh God!, I thought to myself. Did I just seriously use that severely abused break up lines?! I should just shut up.

"Just drop me at the next stop, I'll go home myself.", I requested Josh.

Josh did just that and I don't blame him. I can't blame him. I was the one being the jerk here. "I shall text you later. Take care. Drive safe!", I told him and stepped out. Josh didn't say anything in response to my last words.

I got home and took a nice long bath. I felt like banging my head against the wall but I was far too exhausted to do anything other than just stand there under the running water. I contacted Josh later that night but got no response from him. I fired an apology text message and went to sleep, hoping things would somehow magically get better tomorrow. However this was the point that Josh and I started to drift apart.

However I do believe that I did the right thing. Now either this makes me the most fair man in the world or the most arrogant bugger you would ever have the opportunity to come across. You decide!

I Should Have Kissed You

It was 1st of August. Ramadan would be starting the very next day. Josh's exams would be starting in two weeks. We will not be able to meet for at least a month, so we had decided to meet one last time to hold us off and get us through. This meeting was not planned ahead. It happened very spontaneously. Josh asked me out in response to my 'Good Morning' text. "I'd love to but can you make time?", I asked him.

"We won't go far." he replied so I agreed.

"Oh and I'll be picking you up. Cool?", he asked.

"Super cool!", I replied. Normally I would have been hesitant but with us living very close together, I knew he would not be going out of his way to pick me up. I wasn't a fan of the fact that he didn't trust my skills behind the wheel but in such cases, it's best not to make such people feel that they are being neurotic.

I told him that he should study as his afternoon would be taken up by me, it was a real task convincing him. He kept promising that he would start as soon as he got back home from the date. But I was strict and stubborn. I told him that I would call the whole thing off if he doesn't study right now. I would confess that I had no plans of doing such a thing, however desperate times call for desperate measures.

I was still getting ready when Josh text messaged me that he's waiting at the corner of the street where I told him to wait. It took me about ten minutes to get to him, and I apologized for the delay. "It's okay. I know girls take time getting ready!", he teased.

"Obviously. We want to look good for our man!", I contributed to his joke. We went to a near by mall. The date was uneventful to be honest so I would not be blogging about it later at Coffee & Boys. We walked around alot and ate tons of Gelato. We kept going back for more trying new flavors and relishing the ones that were our sure fire favorites. We even had ice-cream with our garlic mayo french fries. Yes, it was one full fat love affair but with Ramadan starting, we knew we would shed it off somehow. At least Josh was sure - the dude has gone terribly skinny since he hit adolescence.

We were on our tenth or twelfth cup when Josh got a call from his mother. She was going out for grocery shopping, and the house would be empty. Josh told her that he has the keys so it's not a problem and that he would be home soon. He disconnected and we walked around abit more. "Hey. Would you mind if we go back to my place and..?", he stopped mid sentence.

Being the naturally smart( Read; Horny) person that I am, I guessed what he wanted to know. "Get intimate?", I completed. He nodded sheepishly. I nodded happily back. We left the mall instantly and got into his car.

No sooner had I agreed to it that the great 'Kissing Josh' debate exploded in my head like a nuclear bomb. It was all I could think about. The same thoughts that had been plaguing my mind recently started their war dance full force. Both the sides were equally adamant of claiming victory. Pushing forward and towards each other, just as one side would inch forward pushing the other back the other would retaliate and gain ground once again. It was the nastiest mental tug of war ever.

I would tell you right now that this had been going on in my head since the past few weeks. I had even confided about it to a couple of friends. And now it's your turn to get the scoop. I wanted to kiss Josh. I wanted to kiss Josh really bad. My lips had gone dry, parched and quite possibly a little swollen from all the time I was biting them looking at Josh's lip move as he talked. The last time I had made out with someone was July 12th 2010. It had been a year of nobody but my hand. I wanted to hold someone close and tug at their lips, drink into their warmness and let the senses run wild. And here was the perfect guy for the task. An absolutely adorable guy who I could literally eat up in a second.

However all my impulses to throw myself at Josh were entirely carnal. I did not feel it in my heart for him, and I knew it. I knew perfectly well that feeling you have when you want someone with you. I have experienced that high before, and this was nothing like that high. It seemed more out of necessity and desperation that I had pursued Josh. Because I did not want to be alone. What made it all even worse was that I was pretty sure about what Josh felt for me. I knew he had taken the bait and had been reeled in.

I thought that maybe if I kiss him, I would feel something. Anything! But what if I felt absolutely nothing except that inner hunger of getting physical finally being fed a prime steak. I am not the world's best kisser by any means. Till the date of this event, I had kissed just two guys. It's like my friends say - I'm a frigg'in lesbian!

"Josh, I can't kiss you just yet.", I told him all of a sudden. It vomited out of my mouth. I had no idea how close we were to his place when I told him this dirty little secret.

"Why?", he asked. He was clearly hurt.

"I'm not ready yet.", I told him. I could not even look at him right now. I was most definitely the most pathetic person ever in his eyes because of this tirade. "Don't ask me anything more please. I swear it's not you. It's me!", I added. Oh God!, I thought to myself. Did I just seriously use that severely abused break up lines?! I should just shut up.

"Just drop me at the next stop, I'll go home myself.", I requested Josh.

Josh did just that and I don't blame him. I can't blame him. I was the one being the jerk here. "I shall text you later. Take care. Drive safe!", I told him and stepped out. Josh didn't say anything in response to my last words.

I got home and took a nice long bath. I felt like banging my head against the wall but I was far too exhausted to do anything other than just stand there under the running water. I contacted Josh later that night but got no response from him. I fired an apology text message and went to sleep, hoping things would somehow magically get better tomorrow. However this was the point that Josh and I started to drift apart.

However I do believe that I did the right thing. Now either this makes me the most fair man in the world or the most arrogant bugger you would ever have the opportunity to come across. You decide!

For an Hour or Forever

We may be gay, but we're still men. Men are physical creatures. Therefore we want sex, we need sex, we enjoy sex and we love sex. While we may not enjoy the awesome feature of multiple orgasms like our female counterparts( Darn it!) but that doesn't hold us back from having fun and getting dirty.

There is a very popular saying that women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. To a large extent, I agree with it. Why else in most hook up messages I have gotten since the beginning of time has the other guy mentioning that he has a place or asking if I have one. One person has even gone so far to ask me if he could have my place for a few hours to have sex. There is no denying that men love having sex. Another proof of this fact is that males tends to think about sex after every six or seven seconds.

We're hormonal. Get over it!

Alot of the guys I know; even straight ones, have engaged in some form of sexual activity. While not completely acceptable, it is perfectly normal. However to those who haven't, that's quite normal as well and I actually commend you guys for holding on to yourselves. Bravo!

But what about gay guys? Does a gay guy have a more healthy sexual aura around him? Does a gay guy get laid more often? Does a gay guy have a larger appetite for sex?

My answers to the above would be maybe, yes and no. Maybe we do have a healthier sexual aura surrounding ourselves. Yes I do believe a gay guy gets more sex than a straight guy, but no - our appetite for sex is no more than your average straight guy. But then why do we get laid more often?

Could it be because there is no chance of anybody getting bloated? Perhaps! And quite obviously, we don't have the time of the month situation which our fairer counterparts do( Thank Heavens!). But above all that, I think it's the thought process. With many people not looking for committed but an easy lay, one could take a shot at a particular guy he likes and there is a very good chance that he would be available for some rub-a-dub.

Before Internet hit the world like crazy people hit the stores on Black Friday, some bar or dark shady place was the only place to pick up guys. Absolutely no relationship potential material could be found according to me, if somebody has some story that could change my belief please hit me with an E-mail. If you happen to know people who knew people, you could get invited to some exclusive party. But with everyone locked up tightly in their closets, nothing much happened besides scratching that itch. With the advent of Internet followed services like instant messaging, social networking, cam 2 cam and the latest geosocial conscious facilities have made it ever so easier for the average Joe to send a few messages and get laid faster than you could say 'Karamba!'.

Cell phones have allowed more privacy as two guys could talk as much as they want and make arrangement without anybody finding out what's going on. Everything has become so easy and available that it's a wonder how people can remain celibate. I'm quite probably the biggest closeted slut ever!

I can not put into words how much I feel like jumping the bones of some random dude's profile just to get off. It's the same with a few of my friends. It's nothing short of a miracle that my record has not been tainted yet. Although I would confess that I almost hooked up one day but freaked out at the last second and backed off. However that didn't end up in a good way either, and that's a different post altogether.

I got nothing against guys who like to have sex. Absolutely nothing! It's your life and you are completely entitled to do what you want. I won't even tell you something like 'You all will go to Hell' because that is not for me to decide and I'm no saint either. I myself feel this itch myself and the need to scratch it drives me insane. I do a great Cooter impression when I'm horny! :P

At the end of the decision is completely yours, but just ask yourself do I want someone for just a hour or forever?, and be absolutely sure of the answer.

Ted just got committed and his new boyfriend has quite an impressive record of lays. Ted does have feelings for him but the trust isn't quite there yet. I talked to Ted today and yesterday, because of the issue of there being no trust Ted is thinking of breaking up with him. I tried to talk sense into Ted telling him that he should stick around but be on guard. Time will solve the trust issue hopefully but Ted is still very skeptical about it. To be perfectly honest, I am scared that he may get hurt. But if I was in his shoes, I would take a chance if I really liked this guy.

Lastly if you are into random sex, at least learn to be careful. Even if you are in a committed relationship, always have safe sex!

For an Hour or Forever

We may be gay, but we're still men. Men are physical creatures. Therefore we want sex, we need sex, we enjoy sex and we love sex. While we may not enjoy the awesome feature of multiple orgasms like our female counterparts( Darn it!) but that doesn't hold us back from having fun and getting dirty.

There is a very popular saying that women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. To a large extent, I agree with it. Why else in most hook up messages I have gotten since the beginning of time has the other guy mentioning that he has a place or asking if I have one. One person has even gone so far to ask me if he could have my place for a few hours to have sex. There is no denying that men love having sex. Another proof of this fact is that males tends to think about sex after every six or seven seconds.

We're hormonal. Get over it!

Alot of the guys I know; even straight ones, have engaged in some form of sexual activity. While not completely acceptable, it is perfectly normal. However to those who haven't, that's quite normal as well and I actually commend you guys for holding on to yourselves. Bravo!

But what about gay guys? Does a gay guy have a more healthy sexual aura around him? Does a gay guy get laid more often? Does a gay guy have a larger appetite for sex?

My answers to the above would be maybe, yes and no. Maybe we do have a healthier sexual aura surrounding ourselves. Yes I do believe a gay guy gets more sex than a straight guy, but no - our appetite for sex is no more than your average straight guy. But then why do we get laid more often?

Could it be because there is no chance of anybody getting bloated? Perhaps! And quite obviously, we don't have the time of the month situation which our fairer counterparts do( Thank Heavens!). But above all that, I think it's the thought process. With many people not looking for committed but an easy lay, one could take a shot at a particular guy he likes and there is a very good chance that he would be available for some rub-a-dub.

Before Internet hit the world like crazy people hit the stores on Black Friday, some bar or dark shady place was the only place to pick up guys. Absolutely no relationship potential material could be found according to me, if somebody has some story that could change my belief please hit me with an E-mail. If you happen to know people who knew people, you could get invited to some exclusive party. But with everyone locked up tightly in their closets, nothing much happened besides scratching that itch. With the advent of Internet followed services like instant messaging, social networking, cam 2 cam and the latest geosocial conscious facilities have made it ever so easier for the average Joe to send a few messages and get laid faster than you could say 'Karamba!'.

Cell phones have allowed more privacy as two guys could talk as much as they want and make arrangement without anybody finding out what's going on. Everything has become so easy and available that it's a wonder how people can remain celibate. I'm quite probably the biggest closeted slut ever!

I can not put into words how much I feel like jumping the bones of some random dude's profile just to get off. It's the same with a few of my friends. It's nothing short of a miracle that my record has not been tainted yet. Although I would confess that I almost hooked up one day but freaked out at the last second and backed off. However that didn't end up in a good way either, and that's a different post altogether.

I got nothing against guys who like to have sex. Absolutely nothing! It's your life and you are completely entitled to do what you want. I won't even tell you something like 'You all will go to Hell' because that is not for me to decide and I'm no saint either. I myself feel this itch myself and the need to scratch it drives me insane. I do a great Cooter impression when I'm horny! :P

At the end of the decision is completely yours, but just ask yourself do I want someone for just a hour or forever?, and be absolutely sure of the answer.

Ted just got committed and his new boyfriend has quite an impressive record of lays. Ted does have feelings for him but the trust isn't quite there yet. I talked to Ted today and yesterday, because of the issue of there being no trust Ted is thinking of breaking up with him. I tried to talk sense into Ted telling him that he should stick around but be on guard. Time will solve the trust issue hopefully but Ted is still very skeptical about it. To be perfectly honest, I am scared that he may get hurt. But if I was in his shoes, I would take a chance if I really liked this guy.

Lastly if you are into random sex, at least learn to be careful. Even if you are in a committed relationship, always have safe sex!

Freak Wavelength

A few days ago, Josh asked me if I had a Facebook account. I told him I do have one but am not keen on adding him yet. My mother happens to be on my Facebook and she asks about every contact I have. A new notification of adding friend would lead her to ask about Josh and I can't hide things from her. I'm still wondering how Nathan survived under her radar when she nitpicked every single person I added who had not gone to the same school or college as me. Another thing would be that question about my Indian friends and a few other contacts, which is another thing I can not tell him yet. Facebook leads to complications in my relation always. However we have been exchanging messages through Facebook quite often nowadays.

This has led me to know about facts that have increased my interest in him no doubt. For instance, I know that he plans to move abroad for sure about his graduation which is three years in the future. I have two more years before I fly myself. Similar future plans ensure that none of us have to make much change in the goals we have set for our careers. Furthermore we both have our sights set on the same destination.

We're both enormous music buffs. Katy Perry, Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson, Sugarland, Natasha Bedingfield and many more similar artist. But I am introducing him to alot more artists like Christina Perri, Jennifer Hudson, Katy B, Erik Hassle, Example, Jessie J and Hey Monday. Interesting fact - he was in London last year and he went to an Adele showing. He has a streak that makes him want to be different from the crowd and musically speaking, he doesn't like Lady GaGa or Glee at all. But that's okay! He doesn't mind that I do! He does however claim to occasionally suffer from Bieber Fever. I could tolerate Bieber for him!

Another thing is that he's into blogging. I'm cruel in the sense that I have not told him about mine yet instead I just told him that I used to have a blog about entertainment which is true. I have seen his blog and speaking very honestly, I was floored. Maybe it's the gay man in me talking but if I stumbled across it without knowing anything about the author, I would never be able to guess that the author plays for the same team that I do. Plus all the black looks so sexy!

Generally I catch my fair share of attention and exchange messages with guys quite often, however eight out of ten times guys don't talk to me at all or talk but not flirt after seeing my pics. It used to bother me alot at first but now it bothers me just a little. With Josh that's not the case! He was still very interested after exchanging pictures with flirting, the 'Good Morning' and 'Good Night' messages.

Another cool thing about him, he loves kids! He's the youngest amongst his siblings and that too with quite a gap. Both of his elder sisters and one of his elder brother is married and have kids, he loves spoiling the little critters. I know this doesn't exactly mean he wants kids but it is a small indication that in future there is a chance that it might be a possibility. Plus something I learned from being with Nathan is that you don't push the topic of kids in the first 3 years at least - if you make it that far!

He is not out of the closet yet but wants to come out. He's waiting for the right time to tell his family. Obviously I'm not going to push him to come out because that's something everybody does on his own terms at their own ease. But at least he has the mindset to do so. He's very clear that he doesn't want to lead a life where he bumps in the night and gets bumped in the day. Once he's done with his education and is stabilized he will come out. I asked him about it to find out why does he plan to do that and I must say I was extremely pleased with the answer I got.

Another thing is that I'm not very keen on anal or oral sex. I don't like the taste of dick in my mouth and if I don't plan on doing it, I don't expect my partner to do it either. Same thing applies to anal intercourse - I have a firm opinion that love doesn't need penetration. And guess what?!

Josh is another freak like me! I literally did a crazy dance when I got to know about this most amazing piece of information. It was like this bubble of happiness rose from my heart and escaped from my mouth in laughter.

The kink in my flower vine?

I have been feeling that Josh is far too much still involved in his ex to even consider me. But as I mentally listed all these facts in my head, I began wondering if it would be wise to stash Josh into the friends zone. Theoretically speaking, we can make a good couple. There are no huge compromises to be made. But all this is only good if Josh realizes the same things and asks me out or accepts my invite for a date. Let's see what unfolds! 

Freak Wavelength

A few days ago, Josh asked me if I had a Facebook account. I told him I do have one but am not keen on adding him yet. My mother happens to be on my Facebook and she asks about every contact I have. A new notification of adding friend would lead her to ask about Josh and I can't hide things from her. I'm still wondering how Nathan survived under her radar when she nitpicked every single person I added who had not gone to the same school or college as me. Another thing would be that question about my Indian friends and a few other contacts, which is another thing I can not tell him yet. Facebook leads to complications in my relation always. However we have been exchanging messages through Facebook quite often nowadays.

This has led me to know about facts that have increased my interest in him no doubt. For instance, I know that he plans to move abroad for sure about his graduation which is three years in the future. I have two more years before I fly myself. Similar future plans ensure that none of us have to make much change in the goals we have set for our careers. Furthermore we both have our sights set on the same destination.

We're both enormous music buffs. Katy Perry, Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson, Sugarland, Natasha Bedingfield and many more similar artist. But I am introducing him to alot more artists like Christina Perri, Jennifer Hudson, Katy B, Erik Hassle, Example, Jessie J and Hey Monday. Interesting fact - he was in London last year and he went to an Adele showing. He has a streak that makes him want to be different from the crowd and musically speaking, he doesn't like Lady GaGa or Glee at all. But that's okay! He doesn't mind that I do! He does however claim to occasionally suffer from Bieber Fever. I could tolerate Bieber for him!

Another thing is that he's into blogging. I'm cruel in the sense that I have not told him about mine yet instead I just told him that I used to have a blog about entertainment which is true. I have seen his blog and speaking very honestly, I was floored. Maybe it's the gay man in me talking but if I stumbled across it without knowing anything about the author, I would never be able to guess that the author plays for the same team that I do. Plus all the black looks so sexy!

Generally I catch my fair share of attention and exchange messages with guys quite often, however eight out of ten times guys don't talk to me at all or talk but not flirt after seeing my pics. It used to bother me alot at first but now it bothers me just a little. With Josh that's not the case! He was still very interested after exchanging pictures with flirting, the 'Good Morning' and 'Good Night' messages.

Another cool thing about him, he loves kids! He's the youngest amongst his siblings and that too with quite a gap. Both of his elder sisters and one of his elder brother is married and have kids, he loves spoiling the little critters. I know this doesn't exactly mean he wants kids but it is a small indication that in future there is a chance that it might be a possibility. Plus something I learned from being with Nathan is that you don't push the topic of kids in the first 3 years at least - if you make it that far!

He is not out of the closet yet but wants to come out. He's waiting for the right time to tell his family. Obviously I'm not going to push him to come out because that's something everybody does on his own terms at their own ease. But at least he has the mindset to do so. He's very clear that he doesn't want to lead a life where he bumps in the night and gets bumped in the day. Once he's done with his education and is stabilized he will come out. I asked him about it to find out why does he plan to do that and I must say I was extremely pleased with the answer I got.

Another thing is that I'm not very keen on anal or oral sex. I don't like the taste of dick in my mouth and if I don't plan on doing it, I don't expect my partner to do it either. Same thing applies to anal intercourse - I have a firm opinion that love doesn't need penetration. And guess what?!

Josh is another freak like me! I literally did a crazy dance when I got to know about this most amazing piece of information. It was like this bubble of happiness rose from my heart and escaped from my mouth in laughter.

The kink in my flower vine?

I have been feeling that Josh is far too much still involved in his ex to even consider me. But as I mentally listed all these facts in my head, I began wondering if it would be wise to stash Josh into the friends zone. Theoretically speaking, we can make a good couple. There are no huge compromises to be made. But all this is only good if Josh realizes the same things and asks me out or accepts my invite for a date. Let's see what unfolds! 

Issues; Show Me The Money

I met up with this guy for a hook up and he was really good. I met up with him a few weeks later again and then a few weeks later again. After we got done, he asked me if I could help him out with some financial problems. He needed to pay his tuition fees which I could easily afford, so I helped him out. A few weeks later he asked me for help again. I helped him again because I thought we are friends. I asked him a few days later if he was free for another hook up, he turned me down saying that he is really busy. I let it slide. Lately it's been happening that everytime I ask him out, he would ask for money. One time he even offered himself to me on the condition that I can do anything I want with him but I need to pay him first. So I'm wondering where is this actually headed? Is he an escort?

A couple of questions like this are on my mind and I don't know exactly if I should ask them or not. And more importantly, is it time to pull the plug on this so-called friendship?

Here's the first thing about paid sex - if and if only is the other person involved in the business and he/she has made you aware of it, should you pay for utilizing this service. You do not pay for a hook up. You do not pay a 'friend' for sex. If this guy does indeed have a problem and he would have asked you for money outside the premises of the bed, I think it would have been okay for you to help him out. But with all that has happened between you two, even if he is not an escort - he becomes one for you! Real escorts mention it on their profiles because they are in purely for the money. Don't let him ridicule one of the oldest profession on Earth that is being spoiled by complete amateurs!

LOL!

Basically he knows you will pay for sex, so he asks you for money when you ask him for sex. Even in the most desperate situations, he would want to be paid for sex. It's pretty clear how he sees your relationship with him to be!

You need to cut him off as quickly as possible. Do not contact him. Do not give him any response for a few days - at least two weeks minimum. Once this time period has passed invite him over but not for sex, and make this very clear to him that you do not want sex from him. Wank as much as you think you possibly can in order to eliminate any libido explosions during the meet up. Keep it strictly non-sexual!

It's best that he brings up any sexual topic and when he does, you tell him strictly that you are not interested in giving him money. You helped him out once or twice because you thought he was your friend but that's not how he sees it. Don't use the word 'escort', whether he is one or not, I don't know. But I don't think he would like to be identified as one. After the meeting, never ever look back.

No matter how much he pleads or begs and is willing to fulfill your dirtiest fantasies, you should not give in to him. You fall even once, he will know that he can break you if he tries hard enough and if he is dumb enough, he will try every possible thing to do so. Besides the fact that prostitution is completely wrong, he needs to realize that he should not sell his body for money. Perhaps he has other people who treat him the same but at least you can have a clear conscious that you did not encourage this behavior from him. 

Call Me Old Fashioned

While talking on phone last Sunday, Josh was inquiring about Nathan. Talking about ex with potential boyfriends has always been something I still am not comfortable with and that's why I have never told any guy I went out with about Nathan or Bruce, unless I was interested in him and felt that he should know. The other case would be that we're pretty solid friends. I don't hide anything but people tend to get the wrong impression sometimes that I may still be harboring some feelings from the last guy. I explained clearly that it's over and it's been quite sometime since it got over.

"So when did the two of you first make out?", he asked.

"On our four month anniversary!", I told him.

"What?! You guys waited four months for the first kiss?!", he was in complete shock.

"Well, before that he was not in Pakistan so I really don't think we had any other option!", I told him. I was feeling so bloody awkward that I can't put it to words.

"So if he was in Pakistan, then when would it have happened?", he asked.

I already knew my version of the answer in my head, but I felt that I didn't need to tell everything yet. "It isn't completely upon me to decide when it would have happened. It would have been sooner definitely, but planned or spontaneous I don't know!"

I felt my answer was perfect. Quite obviously only complete fools would force themselves upon their partners. I would have taken up Nathan's opinion on the matter. Besides with Nathan there was a completely difference scenario as compared to what could possibly happen with Josh. Nathan was from a different country, so meeting was not an option. With Josh living in the same city as me, meeting is very easy if he ever agrees to it. There are so many restaurants and even a mall near to his place that it's unbelievable. Plus there is an amusement park which completely sucks but the only thing we plan to ride is each other. LOL!

For me, it depends upon my chemistry with the guy. I have to be at ease. I can't be a bundle of nerves when I'm making out. More importantly I need to know that the other guy is genuinely interested. I don't want to be taken along for a ride where things happen only to find out that they meant completely different than what I had experienced. Nobody touches my junk but my one and only!

It's not some silly trick to put the other guy under pressure, but it is to ensure my own personal emotional safety. Also with two of us being in the same city, I don't want to crash into a sexual frenzy with Josh where both of us are feeling frisky every time we meet. I've seen, heard and read this happen so many times to so many couples - both straight and gay. When everything starts it's all sparks and steamy kisses, it's perfectly natural to be passionate. The fire burns high and the fire burns deep. But a couple of months down the lane, things start to feel less special and more predictable. Eventually one or the other person gets bored and decides to break up. It's all good if that's what they both wanted - a mutual physical love for a time being. But it's not what I want. I want something that exists outside the premises of the bed and to go on. But in such cases, guys like me are left high and dry. Makes perfect sense to take every precaution possible!

I asked Josh when did he first kiss his first boyfriend. "The day we decided to be together!", he replied in a very casual tone.

His answer definitely raised my eye brows, but I decided to keep an open mind. It does sound perfectly okay. They both accepted mutual feelings of affection towards each other so why not seal the deal with a kiss. It could have happened in a moment of passion.

I think I haven't made it clear to Josh that he should not expect physical intimacy anytime soon. I'm fine with holding hands and a hug if I can get one, but anything else will have to wait. And absolutely nothing will happen on the first date if that ever comes into being. It's not that I need the other person to say 'I Love You', but his simple actions can make it click for me. Who doesn't like making out?! But making out with someone special is most definitely better than something only half passionate.

-----------------------------------------------------

A very dear friend of mine and a reader of my blog is lately facing some turmoil where he's torn halfway between hope and despair. I can't disclose details or his identity, but to anybody reading this I want to request that you wish him the best. May God have scripted his life to his best interests! May he always be not only satisfied but happy with what he is blessed with!

- Amen 

Call Me Old Fashioned

While talking on phone last Sunday, Josh was inquiring about Nathan. Talking about ex with potential boyfriends has always been something I still am not comfortable with and that's why I have never told any guy I went out with about Nathan or Bruce, unless I was interested in him and felt that he should know. The other case would be that we're pretty solid friends. I don't hide anything but people tend to get the wrong impression sometimes that I may still be harboring some feelings from the last guy. I explained clearly that it's over and it's been quite sometime since it got over.

"So when did the two of you first make out?", he asked.

"On our four month anniversary!", I told him.

"What?! You guys waited four months for the first kiss?!", he was in complete shock.

"Well, before that he was not in Pakistan so I really don't think we had any other option!", I told him. I was feeling so bloody awkward that I can't put it to words.

"So if he was in Pakistan, then when would it have happened?", he asked.

I already knew my version of the answer in my head, but I felt that I didn't need to tell everything yet. "It isn't completely upon me to decide when it would have happened. It would have been sooner definitely, but planned or spontaneous I don't know!"

I felt my answer was perfect. Quite obviously only complete fools would force themselves upon their partners. I would have taken up Nathan's opinion on the matter. Besides with Nathan there was a completely difference scenario as compared to what could possibly happen with Josh. Nathan was from a different country, so meeting was not an option. With Josh living in the same city as me, meeting is very easy if he ever agrees to it. There are so many restaurants and even a mall near to his place that it's unbelievable. Plus there is an amusement park which completely sucks but the only thing we plan to ride is each other. LOL!

For me, it depends upon my chemistry with the guy. I have to be at ease. I can't be a bundle of nerves when I'm making out. More importantly I need to know that the other guy is genuinely interested. I don't want to be taken along for a ride where things happen only to find out that they meant completely different than what I had experienced. Nobody touches my junk but my one and only!

It's not some silly trick to put the other guy under pressure, but it is to ensure my own personal emotional safety. Also with two of us being in the same city, I don't want to crash into a sexual frenzy with Josh where both of us are feeling frisky every time we meet. I've seen, heard and read this happen so many times to so many couples - both straight and gay. When everything starts it's all sparks and steamy kisses, it's perfectly natural to be passionate. The fire burns high and the fire burns deep. But a couple of months down the lane, things start to feel less special and more predictable. Eventually one or the other person gets bored and decides to break up. It's all good if that's what they both wanted - a mutual physical love for a time being. But it's not what I want. I want something that exists outside the premises of the bed and to go on. But in such cases, guys like me are left high and dry. Makes perfect sense to take every precaution possible!

I asked Josh when did he first kiss his first boyfriend. "The day we decided to be together!", he replied in a very casual tone.

His answer definitely raised my eye brows, but I decided to keep an open mind. It does sound perfectly okay. They both accepted mutual feelings of affection towards each other so why not seal the deal with a kiss. It could have happened in a moment of passion.

I think I haven't made it clear to Josh that he should not expect physical intimacy anytime soon. I'm fine with holding hands and a hug if I can get one, but anything else will have to wait. And absolutely nothing will happen on the first date if that ever comes into being. It's not that I need the other person to say 'I Love You', but his simple actions can make it click for me. Who doesn't like making out?! But making out with someone special is most definitely better than something only half passionate.

-----------------------------------------------------

A very dear friend of mine and a reader of my blog is lately facing some turmoil where he's torn halfway between hope and despair. I can't disclose details or his identity, but to anybody reading this I want to request that you wish him the best. May God have scripted his life to his best interests! May he always be not only satisfied but happy with what he is blessed with!

- Amen 

Mind Phunk ~ 12/31/10

I know you want me,

I made it obvious that I want you too,

So put it on me

Let's remove the space between me and you,

Now rock your body

Damn I like the way you move,

So give it to me

Cause I already know what you wanna do

- Enrique Iglesias @ "Tonight" ft. Ludacris

Every single time I hear this song I so badly want to have mindless sex it's unbelievable! No song! No song EVER before has had this stupid effect on me! I made my friends take it off their New Years Dance Playlist in fear that I might do something crazy at the party on Saturday Night!

One of my longest standing crushes to date on a celebrity is the one I have on Enrique Iglesias. I remember one of my friends from Orkut showing me a video of him kissing some guy at a concert and I literally screamed 'Why not me!' after seeing the video extremely loud. Super-thankful that the house was empty at that moment so nobody heard my outburst of disapproval.

Unfortunately things like that don't happen to ordinary guys like me! However I'm not one to loose hope so easily. Perhaps someday I too will be at his concert and he'll kiss me. I seriously hope I am single at that time because I seriously won't be able to explain to my boyfriend how his kisses don't satisfy me anymore. LOL!

Mind Phunk ~ 12/31/10

I know you want me,

I made it obvious that I want you too,

So put it on me

Let's remove the space between me and you,

Now rock your body

Damn I like the way you move,

So give it to me

Cause I already know what you wanna do

- Enrique Iglesias @ "Tonight" ft. Ludacris

Every single time I hear this song I so badly want to have mindless sex it's unbelievable! No song! No song EVER before has had this stupid effect on me! I made my friends take it off their New Years Dance Playlist in fear that I might do something crazy at the party on Saturday Night!

One of my longest standing crushes to date on a celebrity is the one I have on Enrique Iglesias. I remember one of my friends from Orkut showing me a video of him kissing some guy at a concert and I literally screamed 'Why not me!' after seeing the video extremely loud. Super-thankful that the house was empty at that moment so nobody heard my outburst of disapproval.

Unfortunately things like that don't happen to ordinary guys like me! However I'm not one to loose hope so easily. Perhaps someday I too will be at his concert and he'll kiss me. I seriously hope I am single at that time because I seriously won't be able to explain to my boyfriend how his kisses don't satisfy me anymore. LOL!

Hands All Over

The room was perfect in the sense that I have always dreamed of owning a room like it. It screamed 'Man' so loud that you would go deaf. It wasn't dirty, besides the usual mess of books confined on the table and CDs strewn all over the computer table. There was no bed, instead two mattresses placed on top of one another. There was some sort of cushioned back support, a mother's touch I guess. Two giant ass pillows and a bed side table with a laptop resting over it, playing an episode of Seinfeld. Bruce loved to watch Seinfeld, he didn't like any of the other programs airing back then except for Prison Break. There was bookshelves on the wall housing his MBA books and a few pictures of his nephew. The walls were a pale shade of green, which was the only thing I disagreed with. I prefer hues of blue or a plain simple white. The coolest part was the closet built into the wall. I hate bumps coming in the wall of on-going walls. Built-in closets are amazing!

"So what do you think?", he asked.

I didn't know how to respond to it. It wasn't like he had renovated for me, it had always been like this. I decided to give my honest opinion but tone down the level of excitement. "It's super!" I said with a smile.

He walked to the revolving chair and pulled it to the mattresses. I was sitting on the mattress, feeling it's firmness. It was weird but comfortable. I wasn't aware that he was looking at me for quite some time. "What?", I asked.

"Nothing!", he said with a smile.

"Your constant smiling is freaking me out!", I told him. "What's going on? Tell me!" I pleaded.

"Nothing!", he repeated. "Seriously, is it so wrong that I like looking at you?" he asked.

"There's nothing wrong but I feel like you're a starving lion and I'm a Zebra with the largest behind ever!" I complained.

"You really need to work on your analogies!", he poked me with his toes. Unfortunately that toe poked my sides and I let out a rather large giggle. I quickly stifled up.

"Are you ticklish?", he asked.

"No!", I replied instantly. He poked me again with his toe and I laughed again, louder than last time.

"You are!", he said all wide-eyed. "You are more ticklish than my nephew!", still sitting on the chair he went down and grabbed my ankle. He pulled it up into his lap before I could react to it and start tickling. Naturally I started laughing and bouncing all over the bed in response. I kept telling him to stop, which he obeyed for a while only before starting again. Finally I managed to wrench my foot free from him. He was laughing too right now. The ice that had been broken was slowly starting to build up again. I had slithered my foot into his jeans from the leg-hole and was grazing his leg. I guess he felt that was a good signal because after some time he got up from the chair and joined me on the mattress. We both didn't really say anything as he moved closer. I waited for something to happen and I realized it was about to happen now.

Bruce and I were just an inch away now and he leaned in, "Ready?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say to him. My tongue had been reduced to liquid and my brain had stopped functioning. I felt my heart was in my throat and I was going to vomit it out any second. I didn't respond but Bruce went ahead anyways. My eyes closed automatically, I was copying whatever he was doing. What I didn't see coming was his tongue. My teeth stayed clenched. He stopped and withdrew. "I know you haven't kissed before, but I was hoping that you were atleast aware of how people kiss!", he remarked with a smile.

"I froze!", I told him.

Bruce crept all the way to the back of the mattress and lied down. "Come here!" he told me. I turned around and lay next to him. "Was it too soon?", he asked.

I denied it. "Just take it abit slow!" I told him. Bruce showed his agreement with a blink and a smile. I can never forget that look. It prepared me for what was to come. He lowered his head again but he didn't go for my lips. He buried it next it to side of my head and started from there. It felt awkward at first, I really had no idea what to do next. Yeah, it felt good but I think because I was processing it too much it kept me from getting lost in the passion. As I had predicted, I was immediately conscious of my body.

He had worn a button down shirt as I requested. I find the whole unbuttoning process extremely arousing, it makes the foreplay last longer leading to more exciting and steamier sex. I don't mind t-shirts, but good button downs turn me on like a freak. I had opened a few of the bottom ones, I was feeling him up. In the next few moments, his shirt had been cast aside and the jeans was open. He stopped kissing and got on top of me. I was scared for a moment because he was much heavier than me and this was sort of going in the direction I did not want it to go. Thankfully he did that just to take off my shirt and once done, he went down. As he lay on top, he was surprisingly light. I wasn't pressed like I expected to be. Either he was lighter than I had imagined him to be or he somehow knew how to balance himself so that I don't feel his weight.

Bruce was on top of me now and was humping slowly. This was the point I really started freaking out because I felt the limits I had set were being crossed and this was definitely too soon in my book. "Stop, please!" I whispered.

"What?", he asked looking up.

"Can we stop now?", I asked. He looked angry and confused at the same time. "We're going too fast!" I gulped with my eyes closed. He's going to choke me and I'm going to die in this dream room of mine.

"Seriously?", he asked. I nodded in response and began pulling up my jeans.

"What's the time?", I asked.

"It's close to 5:30!", he remarked. I looked back, he was pushing back his hair trying to settle them down from the crazy mess I had made pulling and tugging them while making-out.

"I need to go now! It's late and the traffic is going to be haphazard crazy. Any later and I'm going to be reaching home very late.", I excused myself. He got up and threw on his shirt quickly.

"I'm going with you!", he told me.

"What?", I asked him in amazement. "Why?", I asked.

"I'm not letting you drive alone in the traffic. You got your license like 2 months ago, you can't handle evening traffic!" he told me sternly. He was pissed, I could tell.

"No!", I said stopping him. "It would be a hassle for you!"

"Phunk!" he glared.

"Bruce, please!" I told him, "I need to go alone. I need to think and process, can't do that with you in the passenger seat!" However Bruce wasn't one to be convinced. I considered running away with the car when he closed the gates of his home but that would have been really rude. "Promise, you won't say a word!" I told him. He promised and didn't say a word the entire drive except critiquing my driving skills, telling me which route to take and maneuver through the traffic. It was a little annoying but I did not have the balls to criticize him.

Later when the streets got relatively clear, he had me drop him off at a bus stop from where he took a bus back home. I hung around till the bus came. Thank God there were people surrounding us, it prevented Bruce from talking about anything. I wasn't sure if he even wanted to talk.

As the bus carrying Bruce drove away into a sea of smog, I settled into my car and drove home. I hated myself for behaving like a prude back at Bruce's place but it just felt wrong at that moment. I didn't even feel like kissing him properly and that made me wonder if Bruce was the right one for me. I came back home and had a nice long bath, I messaged Bruce that if he has time he should let me know, I will call him up and give him a chance to ask, talk or whatever he has on his mind.

Hands All Over

The room was perfect in the sense that I have always dreamed of owning a room like it. It screamed 'Man' so loud that you would go deaf. It wasn't dirty, besides the usual mess of books confined on the table and CDs strewn all over the computer table. There was no bed, instead two mattresses placed on top of one another. There was some sort of cushioned back support, a mother's touch I guess. Two giant ass pillows and a bed side table with a laptop resting over it, playing an episode of Seinfeld. Bruce loved to watch Seinfeld, he didn't like any of the other programs airing back then except for Prison Break. There was bookshelves on the wall housing his MBA books and a few pictures of his nephew. The walls were a pale shade of green, which was the only thing I disagreed with. I prefer hues of blue or a plain simple white. The coolest part was the closet built into the wall. I hate bumps coming in the wall of on-going walls. Built-in closets are amazing!

"So what do you think?", he asked.

I didn't know how to respond to it. It wasn't like he had renovated for me, it had always been like this. I decided to give my honest opinion but tone down the level of excitement. "It's super!" I said with a smile.

He walked to the revolving chair and pulled it to the mattresses. I was sitting on the mattress, feeling it's firmness. It was weird but comfortable. I wasn't aware that he was looking at me for quite some time. "What?", I asked.

"Nothing!", he said with a smile.

"Your constant smiling is freaking me out!", I told him. "What's going on? Tell me!" I pleaded.

"Nothing!", he repeated. "Seriously, is it so wrong that I like looking at you?" he asked.

"There's nothing wrong but I feel like you're a starving lion and I'm a Zebra with the largest behind ever!" I complained.

"You really need to work on your analogies!", he poked me with his toes. Unfortunately that toe poked my sides and I let out a rather large giggle. I quickly stifled up.

"Are you ticklish?", he asked.

"No!", I replied instantly. He poked me again with his toe and I laughed again, louder than last time.

"You are!", he said all wide-eyed. "You are more ticklish than my nephew!", still sitting on the chair he went down and grabbed my ankle. He pulled it up into his lap before I could react to it and start tickling. Naturally I started laughing and bouncing all over the bed in response. I kept telling him to stop, which he obeyed for a while only before starting again. Finally I managed to wrench my foot free from him. He was laughing too right now. The ice that had been broken was slowly starting to build up again. I had slithered my foot into his jeans from the leg-hole and was grazing his leg. I guess he felt that was a good signal because after some time he got up from the chair and joined me on the mattress. We both didn't really say anything as he moved closer. I waited for something to happen and I realized it was about to happen now.

Bruce and I were just an inch away now and he leaned in, "Ready?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say to him. My tongue had been reduced to liquid and my brain had stopped functioning. I felt my heart was in my throat and I was going to vomit it out any second. I didn't respond but Bruce went ahead anyways. My eyes closed automatically, I was copying whatever he was doing. What I didn't see coming was his tongue. My teeth stayed clenched. He stopped and withdrew. "I know you haven't kissed before, but I was hoping that you were atleast aware of how people kiss!", he remarked with a smile.

"I froze!", I told him.

Bruce crept all the way to the back of the mattress and lied down. "Come here!" he told me. I turned around and lay next to him. "Was it too soon?", he asked.

I denied it. "Just take it abit slow!" I told him. Bruce showed his agreement with a blink and a smile. I can never forget that look. It prepared me for what was to come. He lowered his head again but he didn't go for my lips. He buried it next it to side of my head and started from there. It felt awkward at first, I really had no idea what to do next. Yeah, it felt good but I think because I was processing it too much it kept me from getting lost in the passion. As I had predicted, I was immediately conscious of my body.

He had worn a button down shirt as I requested. I find the whole unbuttoning process extremely arousing, it makes the foreplay last longer leading to more exciting and steamier sex. I don't mind t-shirts, but good button downs turn me on like a freak. I had opened a few of the bottom ones, I was feeling him up. In the next few moments, his shirt had been cast aside and the jeans was open. He stopped kissing and got on top of me. I was scared for a moment because he was much heavier than me and this was sort of going in the direction I did not want it to go. Thankfully he did that just to take off my shirt and once done, he went down. As he lay on top, he was surprisingly light. I wasn't pressed like I expected to be. Either he was lighter than I had imagined him to be or he somehow knew how to balance himself so that I don't feel his weight.

Bruce was on top of me now and was humping slowly. This was the point I really started freaking out because I felt the limits I had set were being crossed and this was definitely too soon in my book. "Stop, please!" I whispered.

"What?", he asked looking up.

"Can we stop now?", I asked. He looked angry and confused at the same time. "We're going too fast!" I gulped with my eyes closed. He's going to choke me and I'm going to die in this dream room of mine.

"Seriously?", he asked. I nodded in response and began pulling up my jeans.

"What's the time?", I asked.

"It's close to 5:30!", he remarked. I looked back, he was pushing back his hair trying to settle them down from the crazy mess I had made pulling and tugging them while making-out.

"I need to go now! It's late and the traffic is going to be haphazard crazy. Any later and I'm going to be reaching home very late.", I excused myself. He got up and threw on his shirt quickly.

"I'm going with you!", he told me.

"What?", I asked him in amazement. "Why?", I asked.

"I'm not letting you drive alone in the traffic. You got your license like 2 months ago, you can't handle evening traffic!" he told me sternly. He was pissed, I could tell.

"No!", I said stopping him. "It would be a hassle for you!"

"Phunk!" he glared.

"Bruce, please!" I told him, "I need to go alone. I need to think and process, can't do that with you in the passenger seat!" However Bruce wasn't one to be convinced. I considered running away with the car when he closed the gates of his home but that would have been really rude. "Promise, you won't say a word!" I told him. He promised and didn't say a word the entire drive except critiquing my driving skills, telling me which route to take and maneuver through the traffic. It was a little annoying but I did not have the balls to criticize him.

Later when the streets got relatively clear, he had me drop him off at a bus stop from where he took a bus back home. I hung around till the bus came. Thank God there were people surrounding us, it prevented Bruce from talking about anything. I wasn't sure if he even wanted to talk.

As the bus carrying Bruce drove away into a sea of smog, I settled into my car and drove home. I hated myself for behaving like a prude back at Bruce's place but it just felt wrong at that moment. I didn't even feel like kissing him properly and that made me wonder if Bruce was the right one for me. I came back home and had a nice long bath, I messaged Bruce that if he has time he should let me know, I will call him up and give him a chance to ask, talk or whatever he has on his mind.

We Are Not Having Sex

"So where are we meeting next time?", Bruce asked.

"I don't know! I have my mids coming up so I don't think I'll be able to make time in the next few days!", I told him dejectedly. I didn't know what was going on his head but I knew he was planning something. He had that crooked smile of his that always conquered his face when he was being naughty. "Why? Did you have something specific planned?" I asked him. I was totally suspicious that something was brewing in his mind. I could smell it.

"My parents are going away this weekend to see my elder brother!", he told me. Were my eyes playing tricks or was he actually blushing?, I asked myself in amazement. He had the reputation of a playboy, having been with at least more than 50 guys before me. I didn't entirely believe it because I don't think anyone can get laid that easily - even with his good looks and suave demeanor.

"So you want me to come over to your place?" I asked. I already knew what his answer would be. I was amazed at how celibate Bruce had been since we started going out. It was such a weird moment. It felt like being in high school. Parents going away, house all to oneself, perfect moment to get it on with someone - a very special someone. No one to disturb us, we could take as much time as we wanted to. No interruptions!

"Think about it! It's a great opportunity but obviously I would understand if you don't feel like!", he explained. I offered him my garlic-mayo fries as we talked. The traffic had us surrounded from all sides.

"Oh c'mon!", I poked him in disbelief. "I maybe just twenty but I know you just don't get fine and you definitely don't let things go that easily!" I added.

"Doesn't matter if I do. Because at the end of the day, I can't force you into a position, you don't want to be in!", he cracked an intentional pun. Also a very bad one!

"Position?", I asked in disbelief. "Seriously, Bruce? You know how over-active my imagination is, I'm already imagining the possibilities!" I said landing a hard punch on his shoulder.

"Ah, the joys of being a pervert!" he remarked with a naughty glint in his eyes. "So what do you think? You want to come over?", he asked as he drove me back to my place.

"I'll definitely think about it!", I told him. I wanted to be honest, but being honest can cause us to break up. I argued in my head what to do next. However this being my first real-time relation, I had promised myself I would be honest to both of us. "I do want to come over but I don't think I'm ready to have sex yet!", I blurted out. I'm such a Drama Queen!

He turned off the radio. Surprisingly, he had a smile on his face. I didn't quite understand how to interpret that reaction of his. "Why?" he asked still laughing slightly.

"I can't! Also I'm way too conscious about my body when I'm next to you!", I told him.

He was still laughing like some stupid jock and I felt like the girl who dates stupid jocks. "Why are you conscious about your body?", he asked.

"Are you kidding me?", I shot back. "Look at you! You're totally jacked! You've got the whole thing! Pecs! Biceps! Abs! You're frigg'in hot and I can't begin to tell you how many times I want to rip you're clothes off!" I blurted out at once.

"And you don't because?", he asked again as he turned left. We were pretty close to my home now.

"Look, it's going to happen my way if anything is going to happen!" I told him strictly. "I may come over but there is no way we are having sex!", I told him very sternly. I knew I was being somewhat of a wet blanket but there is really no point of getting physically intimate if it creeps you out really bad.

"Yes, Dear!" he remarked in the most mocking tone ever. "I won't touch you for the next 9 months!"

"Keep that up and I'll make it 9 months for real!", I half-threatened him. Well, not really! But I had to poke him back. I'm not one of those to sit and take it quietly.

"You're such a prude!" he remarked. "But do explain, if we won't have sex then what exactly is going to happen when you come over? Are we going to sit holding hands like good Christian couples?", he asked. I could sense a genuine curiosity mixed with his ever-ready sarcasm.

"I don't know!" I told him. I seriously didn't. "Expect sparks to fly but not necessarily the kind that would from friction of humping!" I winked.

"And that didn't stir any images in your over-active imagination?!", he asked in surprise.

I laughed. "It did. But it's okay when I do it!" I remarked. "You don't need to go all way. Just drop me at the next turn. I'll walk."

Bruce stopped the car at the next turn and we shook hands, which was kind of awkward. But I refused any PDAs in the vicinity of my neighborhood. I got out of the car and started walking. I didn't know if he was trying to be cool or annoying, but he was started moving the car extremely slowly keeping it right pace to pace with me. I turned around and gave him that look two to three times but there was no reaction.

I realized that people around us were noticing us now. I called him up, "Dude, get your butt outta here! People are looking and it's weird!", I growled.

He cut the call and zoomed the car past me. He disappeared at the next turning. I have to admit that display of craziness did turn me on alot. I didn't know if he meant to do it to excite me or it was just Bruce being Bruce. I decided to take up on the offer of going over to his place. It seemed like a really cool thing to do. But I was still convinced that I need to hold on to myself for just a little longer. It was somewhat that I was conscious about my body but also that I have heard from so many places that how many times people rush into sex and everything else goes out of the relationship. I didn't want that to happen so I was intending on keeping it strictly non-sexual - for now.

We Are Not Having Sex

"So where are we meeting next time?", Bruce asked.

"I don't know! I have my mids coming up so I don't think I'll be able to make time in the next few days!", I told him dejectedly. I didn't know what was going on his head but I knew he was planning something. He had that crooked smile of his that always conquered his face when he was being naughty. "Why? Did you have something specific planned?" I asked him. I was totally suspicious that something was brewing in his mind. I could smell it.

"My parents are going away this weekend to see my elder brother!", he told me. Were my eyes playing tricks or was he actually blushing?, I asked myself in amazement. He had the reputation of a playboy, having been with at least more than 50 guys before me. I didn't entirely believe it because I don't think anyone can get laid that easily - even with his good looks and suave demeanor.

"So you want me to come over to your place?" I asked. I already knew what his answer would be. I was amazed at how celibate Bruce had been since we started going out. It was such a weird moment. It felt like being in high school. Parents going away, house all to oneself, perfect moment to get it on with someone - a very special someone. No one to disturb us, we could take as much time as we wanted to. No interruptions!

"Think about it! It's a great opportunity but obviously I would understand if you don't feel like!", he explained. I offered him my garlic-mayo fries as we talked. The traffic had us surrounded from all sides.

"Oh c'mon!", I poked him in disbelief. "I maybe just twenty but I know you just don't get fine and you definitely don't let things go that easily!" I added.

"Doesn't matter if I do. Because at the end of the day, I can't force you into a position, you don't want to be in!", he cracked an intentional pun. Also a very bad one!

"Position?", I asked in disbelief. "Seriously, Bruce? You know how over-active my imagination is, I'm already imagining the possibilities!" I said landing a hard punch on his shoulder.

"Ah, the joys of being a pervert!" he remarked with a naughty glint in his eyes. "So what do you think? You want to come over?", he asked as he drove me back to my place.

"I'll definitely think about it!", I told him. I wanted to be honest, but being honest can cause us to break up. I argued in my head what to do next. However this being my first real-time relation, I had promised myself I would be honest to both of us. "I do want to come over but I don't think I'm ready to have sex yet!", I blurted out. I'm such a Drama Queen!

He turned off the radio. Surprisingly, he had a smile on his face. I didn't quite understand how to interpret that reaction of his. "Why?" he asked still laughing slightly.

"I can't! Also I'm way too conscious about my body when I'm next to you!", I told him.

He was still laughing like some stupid jock and I felt like the girl who dates stupid jocks. "Why are you conscious about your body?", he asked.

"Are you kidding me?", I shot back. "Look at you! You're totally jacked! You've got the whole thing! Pecs! Biceps! Abs! You're frigg'in hot and I can't begin to tell you how many times I want to rip you're clothes off!" I blurted out at once.

"And you don't because?", he asked again as he turned left. We were pretty close to my home now.

"Look, it's going to happen my way if anything is going to happen!" I told him strictly. "I may come over but there is no way we are having sex!", I told him very sternly. I knew I was being somewhat of a wet blanket but there is really no point of getting physically intimate if it creeps you out really bad.

"Yes, Dear!" he remarked in the most mocking tone ever. "I won't touch you for the next 9 months!"

"Keep that up and I'll make it 9 months for real!", I half-threatened him. Well, not really! But I had to poke him back. I'm not one of those to sit and take it quietly.

"You're such a prude!" he remarked. "But do explain, if we won't have sex then what exactly is going to happen when you come over? Are we going to sit holding hands like good Christian couples?", he asked. I could sense a genuine curiosity mixed with his ever-ready sarcasm.

"I don't know!" I told him. I seriously didn't. "Expect sparks to fly but not necessarily the kind that would from friction of humping!" I winked.

"And that didn't stir any images in your over-active imagination?!", he asked in surprise.

I laughed. "It did. But it's okay when I do it!" I remarked. "You don't need to go all way. Just drop me at the next turn. I'll walk."

Bruce stopped the car at the next turn and we shook hands, which was kind of awkward. But I refused any PDAs in the vicinity of my neighborhood. I got out of the car and started walking. I didn't know if he was trying to be cool or annoying, but he was started moving the car extremely slowly keeping it right pace to pace with me. I turned around and gave him that look two to three times but there was no reaction.

I realized that people around us were noticing us now. I called him up, "Dude, get your butt outta here! People are looking and it's weird!", I growled.

He cut the call and zoomed the car past me. He disappeared at the next turning. I have to admit that display of craziness did turn me on alot. I didn't know if he meant to do it to excite me or it was just Bruce being Bruce. I decided to take up on the offer of going over to his place. It seemed like a really cool thing to do. But I was still convinced that I need to hold on to myself for just a little longer. It was somewhat that I was conscious about my body but also that I have heard from so many places that how many times people rush into sex and everything else goes out of the relationship. I didn't want that to happen so I was intending on keeping it strictly non-sexual - for now.