Issues; Confused in Love

I am very good friends with a guy and I like him. I am not sure if he likes me the same way as I do. I do know that he's gay/bi, have not really discussed but he has slept around with some guys. I feel at times he isn't someone who would desire to be in a relationship. He even makes fun of them sometimes in front of me and our friends. But then he generally makes fun of the whole idea of being in love and being in a relationship. I have tried forgetting him but that has not worked well at all. I found myself thinking about him even more. I have never suggested or discussed the possibility of a relationship either in fear of loosing him. What should I do?

I think you already have the answer to your problem, and it is a big fat no, but let's go over it. So first things first, just because he has been with a couple of guys doesn't necessarily mean that he is into guys. One thing that I have come to realize over the past year is that sexuality doesn't necessarily generate into a specific sexual activity. People are very flexible towards sex nowadays, alot more than they would like to admit to themselves and others. I know a gay guy who has had sex with women, I can't exactly recall if he enjoyed it or not right now. Then I have come across straight guys who like to score an easy ass. They like to tap into our ever ready and ever willing horny gay brothers, who welcome them with open arms - or in this case, open legs. So to conclude just because he has fooled around with guys, does not imply towards his sexuality.

Secondly gay or bi, if he does not want to be in a relation there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And from the looks of it, I would say that he would not touch the relationship tag with a ten foot pole. It is your decision whether you voice these feelings or not, but it is his decision to reciprocate them equally towards you. Anything less from him is not only unfair to you, but also in time would not be enough for you. You would either want out or want more. Both may and probably would lead to a messy situation.

Last but frankly the most important, you have not mentioned if he is aware of the fact that you are attracted to guys. The reason I am saying this is that I have a feeling that he maybe a homophobe. However if you have told him and he is still friends with you then he is not. In the unfortunate circumstance that he happens to be one, believe me a relationship is the last thing you would want from him.

You already have the answer, buddy. You just need a push in the right direction. I would advice you to cool yourself down and give yourself time. Eventually you would move on, because eventually everyone moves on.

Oh and a big thank you for writing. I was out of ideas about what to post, but your E-mail gave me a few day break to get my thoughts together and come up with something. Thank you once again!

Issues; Confused in Love

I am very good friends with a guy and I like him. I am not sure if he likes me the same way as I do. I do know that he's gay/bi, have not really discussed but he has slept around with some guys. I feel at times he isn't someone who would desire to be in a relationship. He even makes fun of them sometimes in front of me and our friends. But then he generally makes fun of the whole idea of being in love and being in a relationship. I have tried forgetting him but that has not worked well at all. I found myself thinking about him even more. I have never suggested or discussed the possibility of a relationship either in fear of loosing him. What should I do?

I think you already have the answer to your problem, and it is a big fat no, but let's go over it. So first things first, just because he has been with a couple of guys doesn't necessarily mean that he is into guys. One thing that I have come to realize over the past year is that sexuality doesn't necessarily generate into a specific sexual activity. People are very flexible towards sex nowadays, alot more than they would like to admit to themselves and others. I know a gay guy who has had sex with women, I can't exactly recall if he enjoyed it or not right now. Then I have come across straight guys who like to score an easy ass. They like to tap into our ever ready and ever willing horny gay brothers, who welcome them with open arms - or in this case, open legs. So to conclude just because he has fooled around with guys, does not imply towards his sexuality.

Secondly gay or bi, if he does not want to be in a relation there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And from the looks of it, I would say that he would not touch the relationship tag with a ten foot pole. It is your decision whether you voice these feelings or not, but it is his decision to reciprocate them equally towards you. Anything less from him is not only unfair to you, but also in time would not be enough for you. You would either want out or want more. Both may and probably would lead to a messy situation.

Last but frankly the most important, you have not mentioned if he is aware of the fact that you are attracted to guys. The reason I am saying this is that I have a feeling that he maybe a homophobe. However if you have told him and he is still friends with you then he is not. In the unfortunate circumstance that he happens to be one, believe me a relationship is the last thing you would want from him.

You already have the answer, buddy. You just need a push in the right direction. I would advice you to cool yourself down and give yourself time. Eventually you would move on, because eventually everyone moves on.

Oh and a big thank you for writing. I was out of ideas about what to post, but your E-mail gave me a few day break to get my thoughts together and come up with something. Thank you once again!

Issues; No Man Of Mine

I am a 39 year old Pakistani man living in a foreign land. I have been dating since the past 20 years, basically ever since I came here but have been unable to find anything substantial. My longest relationship has been of about a year and a half, and that was six years ago. I have done everything possible but have been met with failure every single time. Should I give up on dating altogether? Could my disastrous dating life have anything to do with me being Pakistani?

I love your blog. Please never stop writing!

No, I don't think you being Pakistani has anything to do with you still being single. You refused to disclose your location so I have no idea that where you are from and how do the people of that country perceive Pakistan to be. Even if I take into consideration the general negative stigma that surrounds Pakistan and being Pakistani, I doubt it's something so damn concrete that anybody won't be able to shake it off.

Do you get the cold shoulder treatment after you have told them about this piece on you?

If so, perhaps it is the reason. However I sincerely feel that this is no logical grounds of rejecting someone. If that was the case, I would turn down every Indian that came my way. There are numerous factors that come into consideration when people tend to think of someone as a potential boyfriend, and I doubt nationality is something people take into account. Ethnicity perhaps maybe a concern as many profiles sport the 'No Asians' tag quite often. Also let me add that being Pakistani is something you can't change about yourself, you have spent a good part of your life in Pakistan and to have to deny it to get somebody to love you is a grievous crime against your very identity. I'd dump somebody who has such a pin hole view, and he's welcome to his keep his views and the stick he has up his ass to himself.

About you giving up on dating, I am not quite sure how to respond. Don't be offended but some people tend to give off a 'desperate' vibe, and quite often this causes potential boyfriends to run in the opposite direction. Instead of dating, go out on casual meets. First meetings on a one on one basis can be very nerve wrecking, especially in the case of individuals who have been repeatedly rejected. Any gay meets happening in a place near you?

Hit these places with all the confidence you can pile on yourself. Chat up a few people and be sure to be as casual as possible. Nobody needs to know that you may have spotted a potential suitor in them. Once things have hit a comfortable stride, exchange numbers and invite him on a one on one meeting. Nothing should be considered boyfriend potential, until the third date at least.

My next suggestion will probably make you want to kill me, but instead of focusing on a boyfriend focus on friends. And if you still have not felt the need to kill me, have you considered being Single by choice?

I would admit that it may take sometime getting used to, but somebody I know found his love when he decided to be single by choice. He had it all programmed meticulously, and then this guy showed up and pursued him. Obviously my friend weighed his odds before getting into it, but he claims he has been a much happier man since then. I know it's understandable to keep on trying, but sometimes you have to drastically alter your strategy in order to achieve your personal Nirvana.

In any case and whatever may happen; I sincerely wish you the best, do not ever compromise on something that makes you who you are. As I'd read somewhere;

"I'd rather be a first rate version of myself, than a second rate version of someone else"

Lastly thanks for the compliment. It meant alot to me!

Issues; No Man Of Mine

I am a 39 year old Pakistani man living in a foreign land. I have been dating since the past 20 years, basically ever since I came here but have been unable to find anything substantial. My longest relationship has been of about a year and a half, and that was six years ago. I have done everything possible but have been met with failure every single time. Should I give up on dating altogether? Could my disastrous dating life have anything to do with me being Pakistani?

I love your blog. Please never stop writing!

No, I don't think you being Pakistani has anything to do with you still being single. You refused to disclose your location so I have no idea that where you are from and how do the people of that country perceive Pakistan to be. Even if I take into consideration the general negative stigma that surrounds Pakistan and being Pakistani, I doubt it's something so damn concrete that anybody won't be able to shake it off.

Do you get the cold shoulder treatment after you have told them about this piece on you?

If so, perhaps it is the reason. However I sincerely feel that this is no logical grounds of rejecting someone. If that was the case, I would turn down every Indian that came my way. There are numerous factors that come into consideration when people tend to think of someone as a potential boyfriend, and I doubt nationality is something people take into account. Ethnicity perhaps maybe a concern as many profiles sport the 'No Asians' tag quite often. Also let me add that being Pakistani is something you can't change about yourself, you have spent a good part of your life in Pakistan and to have to deny it to get somebody to love you is a grievous crime against your very identity. I'd dump somebody who has such a pin hole view, and he's welcome to his keep his views and the stick he has up his ass to himself.

About you giving up on dating, I am not quite sure how to respond. Don't be offended but some people tend to give off a 'desperate' vibe, and quite often this causes potential boyfriends to run in the opposite direction. Instead of dating, go out on casual meets. First meetings on a one on one basis can be very nerve wrecking, especially in the case of individuals who have been repeatedly rejected. Any gay meets happening in a place near you?

Hit these places with all the confidence you can pile on yourself. Chat up a few people and be sure to be as casual as possible. Nobody needs to know that you may have spotted a potential suitor in them. Once things have hit a comfortable stride, exchange numbers and invite him on a one on one meeting. Nothing should be considered boyfriend potential, until the third date at least.

My next suggestion will probably make you want to kill me, but instead of focusing on a boyfriend focus on friends. And if you still have not felt the need to kill me, have you considered being Single by choice?

I would admit that it may take sometime getting used to, but somebody I know found his love when he decided to be single by choice. He had it all programmed meticulously, and then this guy showed up and pursued him. Obviously my friend weighed his odds before getting into it, but he claims he has been a much happier man since then. I know it's understandable to keep on trying, but sometimes you have to drastically alter your strategy in order to achieve your personal Nirvana.

In any case and whatever may happen; I sincerely wish you the best, do not ever compromise on something that makes you who you are. As I'd read somewhere;

"I'd rather be a first rate version of myself, than a second rate version of someone else"

Lastly thanks for the compliment. It meant alot to me!

Issues; Show Me The Money

I met up with this guy for a hook up and he was really good. I met up with him a few weeks later again and then a few weeks later again. After we got done, he asked me if I could help him out with some financial problems. He needed to pay his tuition fees which I could easily afford, so I helped him out. A few weeks later he asked me for help again. I helped him again because I thought we are friends. I asked him a few days later if he was free for another hook up, he turned me down saying that he is really busy. I let it slide. Lately it's been happening that everytime I ask him out, he would ask for money. One time he even offered himself to me on the condition that I can do anything I want with him but I need to pay him first. So I'm wondering where is this actually headed? Is he an escort?

A couple of questions like this are on my mind and I don't know exactly if I should ask them or not. And more importantly, is it time to pull the plug on this so-called friendship?

Here's the first thing about paid sex - if and if only is the other person involved in the business and he/she has made you aware of it, should you pay for utilizing this service. You do not pay for a hook up. You do not pay a 'friend' for sex. If this guy does indeed have a problem and he would have asked you for money outside the premises of the bed, I think it would have been okay for you to help him out. But with all that has happened between you two, even if he is not an escort - he becomes one for you! Real escorts mention it on their profiles because they are in purely for the money. Don't let him ridicule one of the oldest profession on Earth that is being spoiled by complete amateurs!

LOL!

Basically he knows you will pay for sex, so he asks you for money when you ask him for sex. Even in the most desperate situations, he would want to be paid for sex. It's pretty clear how he sees your relationship with him to be!

You need to cut him off as quickly as possible. Do not contact him. Do not give him any response for a few days - at least two weeks minimum. Once this time period has passed invite him over but not for sex, and make this very clear to him that you do not want sex from him. Wank as much as you think you possibly can in order to eliminate any libido explosions during the meet up. Keep it strictly non-sexual!

It's best that he brings up any sexual topic and when he does, you tell him strictly that you are not interested in giving him money. You helped him out once or twice because you thought he was your friend but that's not how he sees it. Don't use the word 'escort', whether he is one or not, I don't know. But I don't think he would like to be identified as one. After the meeting, never ever look back.

No matter how much he pleads or begs and is willing to fulfill your dirtiest fantasies, you should not give in to him. You fall even once, he will know that he can break you if he tries hard enough and if he is dumb enough, he will try every possible thing to do so. Besides the fact that prostitution is completely wrong, he needs to realize that he should not sell his body for money. Perhaps he has other people who treat him the same but at least you can have a clear conscious that you did not encourage this behavior from him. 

Issues; Young & Unfabulous

I started dating a few months ago and I am extremely disappointed with the results. Everybody that I contact or contacts me wants to bang me. All of my friends have girlfriends and they all say it's great to have someone. I have been feeling very depressed lately and I think that's because I have not ever experienced being in love. I'm eighteen and extremely frustrated. Am I looking in the wrong place or is there something wrong with me?

No, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Everybody wants to feel loved and we all do search for someone to love at some point in our life. But I think at 18, your much too young to be in a relationship. Plus having a boyfriend opens the door to a whole different kind of problem. I do understand your desire to couple, however 18 is barely enough to get involved into something serious.

Your friends are straight. Their girlfriends are from the same school. In my opinion, it's not love but sort of a right place, right time kind of thing with them. Half of these couple won't survive by the time they graduate anyways. I'm not being sarcastic but telling you quite honestly from my experience. Another thing is that your friends being straight, you can never really discuss with them about how great it was to be out with your guy the past weekend. I would also not recommend you changing your boyfriend's sex for the sake of discussion. Firstly it would be a huge insult to him and secondly you might get so excited in telling your friends about your latest adventure that you may actually say 'He' or 'Him' by accident. A few slips like that and someone sharp enough in your surrounding may sniff out the truth.

Also consider this a friendly warning, anything below 19 years old in the Online world is generally perceived as a twink and the first thing about twinks is that they should be creamed. So do the maths - most guys would want to bang you no strings attached. Your best shot at something serious is with someone closer to your age and favorably with the similar experience.

Lastly love doesn't come by easy. Having already put myself out there and having read countless other people do so, I'm telling you that it takes a very long time to find something worthy. Your best bet would be to look for friends and if by chance you  come across someone you genuinely like then you take the chance. But even then it's a gamble. Plus this need of yours to have someone, a friend can fill that need just as much by being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen to. As my dear friend put it;

'Lovers come and go. Friends stay forever!' 

Your 18 and fabulous! I really don't think you need a boyfriend right now. At Eighteen, I used to make fun of my friends who were committed and I never failed to tick a few off. At 18, you are going through a very crucial career deciding part of your life. A boyfriend could provide a casual comfort or a disastrous distraction, 'cuz believe me - a boyfriend comes with it's own set of trials and tribulations. Think about it!

Issues; Young & Unfabulous

I started dating a few months ago and I am extremely disappointed with the results. Everybody that I contact or contacts me wants to bang me. All of my friends have girlfriends and they all say it's great to have someone. I have been feeling very depressed lately and I think that's because I have not ever experienced being in love. I'm eighteen and extremely frustrated. Am I looking in the wrong place or is there something wrong with me?

No, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Everybody wants to feel loved and we all do search for someone to love at some point in our life. But I think at 18, your much too young to be in a relationship. Plus having a boyfriend opens the door to a whole different kind of problem. I do understand your desire to couple, however 18 is barely enough to get involved into something serious.

Your friends are straight. Their girlfriends are from the same school. In my opinion, it's not love but sort of a right place, right time kind of thing with them. Half of these couple won't survive by the time they graduate anyways. I'm not being sarcastic but telling you quite honestly from my experience. Another thing is that your friends being straight, you can never really discuss with them about how great it was to be out with your guy the past weekend. I would also not recommend you changing your boyfriend's sex for the sake of discussion. Firstly it would be a huge insult to him and secondly you might get so excited in telling your friends about your latest adventure that you may actually say 'He' or 'Him' by accident. A few slips like that and someone sharp enough in your surrounding may sniff out the truth.

Also consider this a friendly warning, anything below 19 years old in the Online world is generally perceived as a twink and the first thing about twinks is that they should be creamed. So do the maths - most guys would want to bang you no strings attached. Your best shot at something serious is with someone closer to your age and favorably with the similar experience.

Lastly love doesn't come by easy. Having already put myself out there and having read countless other people do so, I'm telling you that it takes a very long time to find something worthy. Your best bet would be to look for friends and if by chance you  come across someone you genuinely like then you take the chance. But even then it's a gamble. Plus this need of yours to have someone, a friend can fill that need just as much by being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen to. As my dear friend put it;

'Lovers come and go. Friends stay forever!' 

Your 18 and fabulous! I really don't think you need a boyfriend right now. At Eighteen, I used to make fun of my friends who were committed and I never failed to tick a few off. At 18, you are going through a very crucial career deciding part of your life. A boyfriend could provide a casual comfort or a disastrous distraction, 'cuz believe me - a boyfriend comes with it's own set of trials and tribulations. Think about it!

Issues; Confession

I have long since known that I am bisexual. However attracted I have been to guys, I haven't ever had any form of sexual contact with them. Since the past few months I have started seeing this girl and finally we are deciding to get into a relationship. I want to tell her about my bisexuality. If I hide it, I would feel extremely guilty. Should I?

I am all for being honest in relationship, but this is one exception to my principle. There are somethings you can not tell the one you love - and this is a prime example of one of them. I would advice you not to tell your girl that you are attracted to both genders. Most people, even in this time and age, are very closed minded when it comes to sexuality. Besides straight, there is really no other sexuality that would be accepted. Even those who are bisexual or homosexual, have an incredibly hard time processing the mechanism of their attraction.

I admire that you want to be honest - I really do. However even though you are attracted to guys, you haven't acted on that attraction of yours. Straight men are sometimes attracted to random women but never pursue them - and they never tell their wives/girlfriends about this attraction. Just like that if some random guy walking down the street catches your eye, you need not run to your girlfriend and tell her about it. Quoting the very awesome Holly Holiday - "It doesn't matter who you are attracted to but who do you fall in love with". Remember that!

You mentioned that keeping this secret would make you feel guilty. I really don't think it should. Like I said earlier, you haven't done anything wrong that you should be guilty about. However if you do feel that strongly about telling her, I would advice you to consider what is at stake here. You really do love her, right?

Before telling her, it's best to see how she feels about bisexuality. Try to bring it into some conversation with her to know how she feels about it. It would be better if you have someone else ask her so that she doesn't get suspicious if she's the type who starts suspecting at the drop of the hat. If her nostrils do not flare, she keeps her composure and doesn't reply with strong negative feelings, there is a chance that if you tell her it won't result into breaking up. However this is a last resort method, if hiding from her does not give you peace of mind.

Lastly, from the conversations we've had, you seem like a pretty smart, level-headed person so if you do decide to step on this path, take no detours. If you feel at some point later to be with guys, don't do so behind her back. That's just plain rude!

Best wishes!

Issues; Confession

I have long since known that I am bisexual. However attracted I have been to guys, I haven't ever had any form of sexual contact with them. Since the past few months I have started seeing this girl and finally we are deciding to get into a relationship. I want to tell her about my bisexuality. If I hide it, I would feel extremely guilty. Should I?

I am all for being honest in relationship, but this is one exception to my principle. There are somethings you can not tell the one you love - and this is a prime example of one of them. I would advice you not to tell your girl that you are attracted to both genders. Most people, even in this time and age, are very closed minded when it comes to sexuality. Besides straight, there is really no other sexuality that would be accepted. Even those who are bisexual or homosexual, have an incredibly hard time processing the mechanism of their attraction.

I admire that you want to be honest - I really do. However even though you are attracted to guys, you haven't acted on that attraction of yours. Straight men are sometimes attracted to random women but never pursue them - and they never tell their wives/girlfriends about this attraction. Just like that if some random guy walking down the street catches your eye, you need not run to your girlfriend and tell her about it. Quoting the very awesome Holly Holiday - "It doesn't matter who you are attracted to but who do you fall in love with". Remember that!

You mentioned that keeping this secret would make you feel guilty. I really don't think it should. Like I said earlier, you haven't done anything wrong that you should be guilty about. However if you do feel that strongly about telling her, I would advice you to consider what is at stake here. You really do love her, right?

Before telling her, it's best to see how she feels about bisexuality. Try to bring it into some conversation with her to know how she feels about it. It would be better if you have someone else ask her so that she doesn't get suspicious if she's the type who starts suspecting at the drop of the hat. If her nostrils do not flare, she keeps her composure and doesn't reply with strong negative feelings, there is a chance that if you tell her it won't result into breaking up. However this is a last resort method, if hiding from her does not give you peace of mind.

Lastly, from the conversations we've had, you seem like a pretty smart, level-headed person so if you do decide to step on this path, take no detours. If you feel at some point later to be with guys, don't do so behind her back. That's just plain rude!

Best wishes!

Issues; Emotional Blackmail

Hey Phunk!

My boyfriend is acting kind of weird these days. Actually he's been acting weird ever since we have started arguing. Our arguing has gotten worse over the period of last few weeks and his recent doings don't give me any hope of things getting better between us. He's not fasting these days. His reason for not fasting is that he's too upset nowadays because of all that's happening between us. I'm confused about what to do with him. Hopefully you can give me some suggestion to sort things out with him. I do like him alot but this attitude of his isn't helping at all! 

Your boyfriend is emotionally blackmailing you. Whether he's fasting or not, I can't say. Whatever maybe the actual fact, another truth that is exists here is that you are being emotionally blackmailed. Every couple has arguments. In fact real couples fight! And real couple also sit down and talk, and eventually find a solution to their problem. Real couples don't huff and puff!

You haven't stated the age of your partner, so I'm guessing he must be in his late teens, because only they can pull such an immature move. Even if he's not in his teens, these hits are way below the belt. One thing you need to know and make him remember is the true intention of fasting. We don't fast for the ones we love. We fast for God. It's He who our fasts are accountable to and it's He who will evaluate them. So if your boyfriend is not fasting, you are in no way to blame for it and you should not feel guilty for his actions. Don't loose your cool and explain this little fact of life to him.

The other thing you have mentioned here that your boyfriend needs to know is what his actions are doing to your relationship. Tell him that he's pushing you away and you are starting to get irritated by all his drama. You need to be the mature one right now and get him back on track. Arguments will happen all the time but this is no way to behave. Explain to him gently that he needs to grow up and not be a child. Relationship is grown up business. Kids strictly not allowed!

Hopefully I helped!

Issues; Emotional Blackmail

Hey Phunk!

My boyfriend is acting kind of weird these days. Actually he's been acting weird ever since we have started arguing. Our arguing has gotten worse over the period of last few weeks and his recent doings don't give me any hope of things getting better between us. He's not fasting these days. His reason for not fasting is that he's too upset nowadays because of all that's happening between us. I'm confused about what to do with him. Hopefully you can give me some suggestion to sort things out with him. I do like him alot but this attitude of his isn't helping at all! 

Your boyfriend is emotionally blackmailing you. Whether he's fasting or not, I can't say. Whatever maybe the actual fact, another truth that is exists here is that you are being emotionally blackmailed. Every couple has arguments. In fact real couples fight! And real couple also sit down and talk, and eventually find a solution to their problem. Real couples don't huff and puff!

You haven't stated the age of your partner, so I'm guessing he must be in his late teens, because only they can pull such an immature move. Even if he's not in his teens, these hits are way below the belt. One thing you need to know and make him remember is the true intention of fasting. We don't fast for the ones we love. We fast for God. It's He who our fasts are accountable to and it's He who will evaluate them. So if your boyfriend is not fasting, you are in no way to blame for it and you should not feel guilty for his actions. Don't loose your cool and explain this little fact of life to him.

The other thing you have mentioned here that your boyfriend needs to know is what his actions are doing to your relationship. Tell him that he's pushing you away and you are starting to get irritated by all his drama. You need to be the mature one right now and get him back on track. Arguments will happen all the time but this is no way to behave. Explain to him gently that he needs to grow up and not be a child. Relationship is grown up business. Kids strictly not allowed!

Hopefully I helped!

Phunk, Am I Gay?

God loves to humiliate me! Things I decide I will not be doing, I find myself doing those very things a few days later. Last week I noticed two Justin Bieber posts on blogs I follow. You can check them out here and here. While I was reading the posts, I thought to myself that I would never ever post about Justin Bieber. But guess what?

Here I am, posting about Justin Bieber. Like I said, God loves to humiliate me.

Yesterday I got four calls from an unknown number, normally I'm not someone to pay attention to unknown numbers. But this guy kept calling again and again. It wasn't like he canceled the calls himself, I just didn't receive them. I thought they were from Bruce. It's usually his style to call from unknown numbers, God knows how many numbers he owns!

When he called the fifth time, I finally received. If it was Bruce, he's going to be hearing some rather strong words from me that I don't usually say. I shout into the phone, and it's a kid. And it's not just any kid. I actually know this kid. He's my mom's best friend's son.

This lady is my mom's best friend since her medical college days. Even so many years after graduating, they have kept in touch. But that kind of makes sense, especially since the guy she married happened to be a friend of my dad from his engineering college days. My dad wasn't exactly best friends with him, just the casual hello-hi type of friends. But ever since the marriage, they got to be really good ones. Also they live pretty close to our place. I have spent numerous summer afternoons in the park or beach with their family.

They're nice bunch. The picture perfect family, you see. A husband, his wife and their three wonderful kids; two sons and a daughter. Two years ago, the picture got messed up really bad. The family was hit by a truck on their way back from a dinner. Everyone, except the father, survived. Their elder son, who I used to be really good friends with, was in coma for two weeks. The poor guy didn't even get a chance to say good bye to his dad.

The family has changed drastically from how it used to be two years ago. They became all business and no play. The elder son who I was regularly in competition all through out my academic life, especially since we went to rival schools, possibly under-went the roughest change of them all. He was the man of the family now, at the tender age of 21. He dropped out of medical school and joined a prestigious business school in USA on full scholarship. When his father was alive, he completely hated business and would never ever want to do business. But after the death, he wanted to do exactly everything his dad would have liked him to do. I tried to explain it to him at that moment that his decision is really stupid but he bit my head off. And I never really bothered with raising the matter again. He's graduating next year and he's already working. I feel bad for him, he gave up his entire life but in the process he has moved away from the family. The daughter who is two years younger than me went to medical school, she's in second year right now. The youngest son is sixteen and is giving his O Level Exams right now (Yeah, right as I am typing this he's giving an exam).

So this kid, called me up yesterday and wanted to ask me something that's been bothering him big time. I thought it was something regarding his studies, but then he suddenly starts talking about Justin Bieber. I can't believe it, he's got an exam tomorrow and he's talking to me about how cool he thinks Bieber is. Put aside the fact that I have absolutely no liking for Bieber, but this argument is completely irrational. He's stammering, stuttering, gasping and mumbling. I tell him to stop and tell me clearly what's going on because right now, he's not making any sense.

"I love Justin and I think I'm gay!", he says after a pause.

"Shouldn't you be having this talk with your elder brother?", I ask him.

"Don't you think I have tried that already?!", he complains. "He shut me down completely. Told me I was being stupid, idiotic and wasting my time. He doesn't want to listen to me on this subject at all. I told him again and again that it's affecting my studies and I can't concentrate. But he scolds me everytime!" he said on the verge of tears.

My heart breaks for the kid. He's definitely in a desperate position right now and I really shouldn't be feeling uncomfortable about it. He's just like my younger brother. Therefore it's my duty to help him out, "Okay, so describe whatever it is that your feeling!".

So he starts describing what's going on in his head. He listens to Justin Bieber all day long and feels as if Bieber has sung these songs for him. He has downloaded all his music videos and watches them whenever he can. He has subscribed to Justin Bieber's YouTube channel and absolutely loves watching the impromptu videos of Justin where he does silly random things. Also he dresses like Justin. Crap!

Personally I felt it's more that he wants to be like Bieber and not that he's got any feelings for him. But the part where he said that he feels Bieber sings these songs for him kind of made me think there might be something more. At any rate, he can't waste his time thinking about this right now. Not atleast when he's got exams the next day. I tell him to cool down whatever he's got going on. Avoid Bieber as much as he can. He can listen to his music but mix it up with other artists. When he does actually listen to a Bieber song, try to think of him just as another artist and not a heart throb. I felt that's the best advice I could give him.

He thanked me, said good bye and cut the call. And with that my Bieber blog post comes to an end. Looking back, it's longer compared to my usual postings.

In all that was happening, I forgot to ask him one thing. Why did he decide to turn to me?, this question has seriously been bugging me. But I don't think I got the nerve to ask him. Anyhow that's it for now!

Phunk, Am I Gay?

God loves to humiliate me! Things I decide I will not be doing, I find myself doing those very things a few days later. Last week I noticed two Justin Bieber posts on blogs I follow. You can check them out here and here. While I was reading the posts, I thought to myself that I would never ever post about Justin Bieber. But guess what?

Here I am, posting about Justin Bieber. Like I said, God loves to humiliate me.

Yesterday I got four calls from an unknown number, normally I'm not someone to pay attention to unknown numbers. But this guy kept calling again and again. It wasn't like he canceled the calls himself, I just didn't receive them. I thought they were from Bruce. It's usually his style to call from unknown numbers, God knows how many numbers he owns!

When he called the fifth time, I finally received. If it was Bruce, he's going to be hearing some rather strong words from me that I don't usually say. I shout into the phone, and it's a kid. And it's not just any kid. I actually know this kid. He's my mom's best friend's son.

This lady is my mom's best friend since her medical college days. Even so many years after graduating, they have kept in touch. But that kind of makes sense, especially since the guy she married happened to be a friend of my dad from his engineering college days. My dad wasn't exactly best friends with him, just the casual hello-hi type of friends. But ever since the marriage, they got to be really good ones. Also they live pretty close to our place. I have spent numerous summer afternoons in the park or beach with their family.

They're nice bunch. The picture perfect family, you see. A husband, his wife and their three wonderful kids; two sons and a daughter. Two years ago, the picture got messed up really bad. The family was hit by a truck on their way back from a dinner. Everyone, except the father, survived. Their elder son, who I used to be really good friends with, was in coma for two weeks. The poor guy didn't even get a chance to say good bye to his dad.

The family has changed drastically from how it used to be two years ago. They became all business and no play. The elder son who I was regularly in competition all through out my academic life, especially since we went to rival schools, possibly under-went the roughest change of them all. He was the man of the family now, at the tender age of 21. He dropped out of medical school and joined a prestigious business school in USA on full scholarship. When his father was alive, he completely hated business and would never ever want to do business. But after the death, he wanted to do exactly everything his dad would have liked him to do. I tried to explain it to him at that moment that his decision is really stupid but he bit my head off. And I never really bothered with raising the matter again. He's graduating next year and he's already working. I feel bad for him, he gave up his entire life but in the process he has moved away from the family. The daughter who is two years younger than me went to medical school, she's in second year right now. The youngest son is sixteen and is giving his O Level Exams right now (Yeah, right as I am typing this he's giving an exam).

So this kid, called me up yesterday and wanted to ask me something that's been bothering him big time. I thought it was something regarding his studies, but then he suddenly starts talking about Justin Bieber. I can't believe it, he's got an exam tomorrow and he's talking to me about how cool he thinks Bieber is. Put aside the fact that I have absolutely no liking for Bieber, but this argument is completely irrational. He's stammering, stuttering, gasping and mumbling. I tell him to stop and tell me clearly what's going on because right now, he's not making any sense.

"I love Justin and I think I'm gay!", he says after a pause.

"Shouldn't you be having this talk with your elder brother?", I ask him.

"Don't you think I have tried that already?!", he complains. "He shut me down completely. Told me I was being stupid, idiotic and wasting my time. He doesn't want to listen to me on this subject at all. I told him again and again that it's affecting my studies and I can't concentrate. But he scolds me everytime!" he said on the verge of tears.

My heart breaks for the kid. He's definitely in a desperate position right now and I really shouldn't be feeling uncomfortable about it. He's just like my younger brother. Therefore it's my duty to help him out, "Okay, so describe whatever it is that your feeling!".

So he starts describing what's going on in his head. He listens to Justin Bieber all day long and feels as if Bieber has sung these songs for him. He has downloaded all his music videos and watches them whenever he can. He has subscribed to Justin Bieber's YouTube channel and absolutely loves watching the impromptu videos of Justin where he does silly random things. Also he dresses like Justin. Crap!

Personally I felt it's more that he wants to be like Bieber and not that he's got any feelings for him. But the part where he said that he feels Bieber sings these songs for him kind of made me think there might be something more. At any rate, he can't waste his time thinking about this right now. Not atleast when he's got exams the next day. I tell him to cool down whatever he's got going on. Avoid Bieber as much as he can. He can listen to his music but mix it up with other artists. When he does actually listen to a Bieber song, try to think of him just as another artist and not a heart throb. I felt that's the best advice I could give him.

He thanked me, said good bye and cut the call. And with that my Bieber blog post comes to an end. Looking back, it's longer compared to my usual postings.

In all that was happening, I forgot to ask him one thing. Why did he decide to turn to me?, this question has seriously been bugging me. But I don't think I got the nerve to ask him. Anyhow that's it for now!