I am very good friends with a guy and I like him. I am not sure if he likes me the same way as I do. I do know that he's gay/bi, have not really discussed but he has slept around with some guys. I feel at times he isn't someone who would desire to be in a relationship. He even makes fun of them sometimes in front of me and our friends. But then he generally makes fun of the whole idea of being in love and being in a relationship. I have tried forgetting him but that has not worked well at all. I found myself thinking about him even more. I have never suggested or discussed the possibility of a relationship either in fear of loosing him. What should I do?
I think you already have the answer to your problem, and it is a big fat no, but let's go over it. So first things first, just because he has been with a couple of guys doesn't necessarily mean that he is into guys. One thing that I have come to realize over the past year is that sexuality doesn't necessarily generate into a specific sexual activity. People are very flexible towards sex nowadays, alot more than they would like to admit to themselves and others. I know a gay guy who has had sex with women, I can't exactly recall if he enjoyed it or not right now. Then I have come across straight guys who like to score an easy ass. They like to tap into our ever ready and ever willing horny gay brothers, who welcome them with open arms - or in this case, open legs. So to conclude just because he has fooled around with guys, does not imply towards his sexuality.
Secondly gay or bi, if he does not want to be in a relation there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And from the looks of it, I would say that he would not touch the relationship tag with a ten foot pole. It is your decision whether you voice these feelings or not, but it is his decision to reciprocate them equally towards you. Anything less from him is not only unfair to you, but also in time would not be enough for you. You would either want out or want more. Both may and probably would lead to a messy situation.
Last but frankly the most important, you have not mentioned if he is aware of the fact that you are attracted to guys. The reason I am saying this is that I have a feeling that he maybe a homophobe. However if you have told him and he is still friends with you then he is not. In the unfortunate circumstance that he happens to be one, believe me a relationship is the last thing you would want from him.
You already have the answer, buddy. You just need a push in the right direction. I would advice you to cool yourself down and give yourself time. Eventually you would move on, because eventually everyone moves on.
Oh and a big thank you for writing. I was out of ideas about what to post, but your E-mail gave me a few day break to get my thoughts together and come up with something. Thank you once again!
I think you already have the answer to your problem, and it is a big fat no, but let's go over it. So first things first, just because he has been with a couple of guys doesn't necessarily mean that he is into guys. One thing that I have come to realize over the past year is that sexuality doesn't necessarily generate into a specific sexual activity. People are very flexible towards sex nowadays, alot more than they would like to admit to themselves and others. I know a gay guy who has had sex with women, I can't exactly recall if he enjoyed it or not right now. Then I have come across straight guys who like to score an easy ass. They like to tap into our ever ready and ever willing horny gay brothers, who welcome them with open arms - or in this case, open legs. So to conclude just because he has fooled around with guys, does not imply towards his sexuality.
Secondly gay or bi, if he does not want to be in a relation there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And from the looks of it, I would say that he would not touch the relationship tag with a ten foot pole. It is your decision whether you voice these feelings or not, but it is his decision to reciprocate them equally towards you. Anything less from him is not only unfair to you, but also in time would not be enough for you. You would either want out or want more. Both may and probably would lead to a messy situation.
Last but frankly the most important, you have not mentioned if he is aware of the fact that you are attracted to guys. The reason I am saying this is that I have a feeling that he maybe a homophobe. However if you have told him and he is still friends with you then he is not. In the unfortunate circumstance that he happens to be one, believe me a relationship is the last thing you would want from him.
You already have the answer, buddy. You just need a push in the right direction. I would advice you to cool yourself down and give yourself time. Eventually you would move on, because eventually everyone moves on.
Oh and a big thank you for writing. I was out of ideas about what to post, but your E-mail gave me a few day break to get my thoughts together and come up with something. Thank you once again!
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