No Girls Allowed

I rarely remember the things that come in my dreams, but what I dreamt of last night I shall never be able to forget. Before you start thinking that it was one of the most amazing dreams I could ever have where I was making out the hottest guy anyone could imagine, let me stop you!

I was not dreaming about a guy. I was not dreaming about ANY guy. Infact I was dreaming about a girl. Yes, I had my first ever wet dream involving a girl. However I also think it will be my last. Want to know why?

My brain doesn’t like it when I dream about girls. The dislike is to such an extent that it sabotages my dreams, so that they become living nightmares. I’m not kidding you! When I woke up in the morning today, I rechecked my surroundings to see if life was still the same as it was when I went to sleep. Yeah, my brain totally kicked my first female wet dream’s ass.

It started out innocent enough. I was laying next to this blonde chick. I do not find blondes attractive. I admit I like my guys with paler shades of hair. But I prefer females in shades of rich brunettes, kind of like Hillary Duff. I loved her Dignity era make-over. Anyhow back to my dream. Strangely enough, she couldn’t speak English or Urdu. We were talking in some weird sign language. Could she be Russian?

If so, oh man! Loosing virginity to a Russian woman would be so cool. Who manages their first time with Russian lass?!

Well except Russian lads, that is! :p

So we were laying on the bed, at first just some talking going on. Eventually it moves to us getting undressed and we get on with the dirty deed. So I’m on her and basically doing everything a man does to a woman. We’re kissing! We’re love biting! We’re running our hands through each other’s hair which by the way is completely awesome! We’re humping, or I’m humping and she’s getting humped! And…my parents burst into the room!

WTF! WTF! WTF!

I can’t begin to recall how many explicit wet dreams I’ve had involving guys and not a single one of them has ever been interrupted by my parents. Not a single one!

“What the hell are you doing?”, my mom screams.

“What are you doing here?”, I reply back.

“We came to check on if you were studying or sleeping!”, my dad responds.

“Get out! Get out!”, I start shouting. Thankfully I wrapped the sheet around myself and her, even my dreams self is extremely self-conscious.

I push them out of the room and follow them out, still in sheets. “What the heck were you doing?”, my mom asks again.

“What does it look I was doing?”

“Why the hell were you having sex?” my dad asks.

“I wanted to know if I can have sex with a woman even though I’m gay!” I scream.

“Your gay?!” they respond in unison.

I don’t remember exactly what happened after that, but I recall some more fighting taking place and me screaming out of this huge castle tower, “I’m gay! I’m gay!”, I do believe my parents did something like locking me up there.

I woke up from it all with this weird spinning feeling in my head. I looked around and about to see where I was. For a moment I thought it had really happened and I buried myself in blankets. But then I remembered that I have a presentation due today and realized I have to get my butt to college by 9AM.  

Whew! I’m still in the closet!

I lay back and recalled the entire dream. I don’t know why but I just did it, and then I erupted into snorting laughter. So it’s settled now, I’m meant to be gay. If I try to be straight, my brain will sabotage me and ruin whatever I am trying to do. Guess I’m stuck with guys!

Sorry girls! You have to count me out. My mind is reserving me a guys!

No Girls Allowed

I rarely remember the things that come in my dreams, but what I dreamt of last night I shall never be able to forget. Before you start thinking that it was one of the most amazing dreams I could ever have where I was making out the hottest guy anyone could imagine, let me stop you!

I was not dreaming about a guy. I was not dreaming about ANY guy. Infact I was dreaming about a girl. Yes, I had my first ever wet dream involving a girl. However I also think it will be my last. Want to know why?

My brain doesn’t like it when I dream about girls. The dislike is to such an extent that it sabotages my dreams, so that they become living nightmares. I’m not kidding you! When I woke up in the morning today, I rechecked my surroundings to see if life was still the same as it was when I went to sleep. Yeah, my brain totally kicked my first female wet dream’s ass.

It started out innocent enough. I was laying next to this blonde chick. I do not find blondes attractive. I admit I like my guys with paler shades of hair. But I prefer females in shades of rich brunettes, kind of like Hillary Duff. I loved her Dignity era make-over. Anyhow back to my dream. Strangely enough, she couldn’t speak English or Urdu. We were talking in some weird sign language. Could she be Russian?

If so, oh man! Loosing virginity to a Russian woman would be so cool. Who manages their first time with Russian lass?!

Well except Russian lads, that is! :p

So we were laying on the bed, at first just some talking going on. Eventually it moves to us getting undressed and we get on with the dirty deed. So I’m on her and basically doing everything a man does to a woman. We’re kissing! We’re love biting! We’re running our hands through each other’s hair which by the way is completely awesome! We’re humping, or I’m humping and she’s getting humped! And…my parents burst into the room!

WTF! WTF! WTF!

I can’t begin to recall how many explicit wet dreams I’ve had involving guys and not a single one of them has ever been interrupted by my parents. Not a single one!

“What the hell are you doing?”, my mom screams.

“What are you doing here?”, I reply back.

“We came to check on if you were studying or sleeping!”, my dad responds.

“Get out! Get out!”, I start shouting. Thankfully I wrapped the sheet around myself and her, even my dreams self is extremely self-conscious.

I push them out of the room and follow them out, still in sheets. “What the heck were you doing?”, my mom asks again.

“What does it look I was doing?”

“Why the hell were you having sex?” my dad asks.

“I wanted to know if I can have sex with a woman even though I’m gay!” I scream.

“Your gay?!” they respond in unison.

I don’t remember exactly what happened after that, but I recall some more fighting taking place and me screaming out of this huge castle tower, “I’m gay! I’m gay!”, I do believe my parents did something like locking me up there.

I woke up from it all with this weird spinning feeling in my head. I looked around and about to see where I was. For a moment I thought it had really happened and I buried myself in blankets. But then I remembered that I have a presentation due today and realized I have to get my butt to college by 9AM.  

Whew! I’m still in the closet!

I lay back and recalled the entire dream. I don’t know why but I just did it, and then I erupted into snorting laughter. So it’s settled now, I’m meant to be gay. If I try to be straight, my brain will sabotage me and ruin whatever I am trying to do. Guess I’m stuck with guys!

Sorry girls! You have to count me out. My mind is reserving me a guys!

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Mrs Cohen is heartbroken. Her son has declared he's gay and intends to move in with his male lover. Mrs Goldblum comes round to comfort her. "Look on the bright side," she says. "He might be sleeping with another man, but at least he's a doctor..."

I read this joke somewhere earlier this week and wanted to share it with my mom. So I copy pasted the joke and emailed it to her - it's a trend with the two of us and also my mom loves getting any sort of mail. Yesterday I happened to remember it and asked her about it. She told me that she had read it and enjoyed it quite alot. To say that I was surprised, would be an understand. I predicted that she would enjoy it but not 'quite alot'. You see anything to do with homosexuality tends to put creases on my mother's forehead immediately.

I have wondered at times how it would be to have a boyfriend/life-partner who belongs to the same line of work as I do. I have no fetish for doctors but I must admit good doctor do tend to intrigue me. There is something about doctors that symbolizes determination, intelligence, a spark for life and class. People employed in the medical field - doctors, dentists, nurses, etc; have always had a certain advantage when it comes to being chosen as a life partner. In the Pakistani society getting married to a doctor - especially if you're not a doctor, is considered to be nothing less than amazing. In most eyes, you are instantly labeled as the 'It' couple. Everybody wants to be friends with you! Everybody wants you over for dinner! Everybody is in love with you! Why?

The answer is extremely simple but also incredibly stupid. Doctor/Doctor and Doctor/Non-Doctor couples have a higher chance of raising doctor babies. Making a good contact right now means your child could possibly be considered as a suitable match later on. In my opinion that's one of the most ridiculous things one can ever do because there is no guarantee that the baby which pops out of the so-called holy vagina is even going to choose this career or be successful at it.

Nowadays it's no longer about being a doctor. It's about being a great doctor. Keeping up with the latest medical trends, having the highest patient satisfactory rate, doing some ground breaking research and all that sort of stuff. Textbook supremacy is about as backward as black and white television.

Finding a gay doctor is going to be extremely hard. There are only five gay guys I know who are practicing medicine and two of them are completely off the shelf. I'm talking about Ryan and Junior, in case somebody is wondering. Given the restricted number of guys who are actually interested in establishing something long-term, it's going to be extremely difficult to find a doctor amongst them. Also is it going to be awkward sharing work space?

Perhaps!

Given that our entire agenda involves dealing with the public if the word gets out that we're gays, it could lead to a shift n the patient's notion about coming to us for a consultation. As bogus it is sounds, patients should not be considered with what I do outside of the hospital. But when he/she comes to me, it's his/her sand-box and I need to treat them to the best of my capabilities keeping my personal thoughts and feelings aside.

Doctors and dentists also tend to earn alot. By alot I mean freak'in filthy rich, wiping-asses-with-hundred-dollar-bills-rich! The first nine spots in the Biggest Earners list are held by various professions all belonging to the field of Health Care. CEOs grab the 10th spot, but the next five again belong to us again. However cushy our work sounds, it's extremely risky. Every patient who comes to us with whatever complaint be it a simple flu, a broken bone or cancer is hopeful and wants to get better. We have to do our job! We have to get them well soon! Malpractice is the real thing we have to worry about, that is omission by a health care provider that deviates from the norm and in turn causes injury or harm to the patient. That's shit scary!

Going back to doctors being top-notch earners, if the point of life comes along to adopt a child we would have the financial check box done with a big fat tick. But with the busy schedules doctors tend to have, is it advisable for both partners to be doctors?

I have alot of cousins who have married doctors and have kids of their own, they seem to be doing a good job. But a large part of the upbringing is being done by their parents aka the kids grandparents. Worth going to my mom for raising the kids?

I believe she's done a fantastic job with us guys. But the whole family set-up is definitely something my mother won't find easy to digest. And also, would landing a doctor partner, make it any easier for my parents to accept my sexuality any easier?

Once again, I'm doubtful about it. My parents- especially my mom would love to see her children have life partners who are doctor. But it's not a necessary thing. My elder sister is such a staunch follower of this rule that she doesn't even consider a proposal if it doesn't come from a doctor. By the way, my sister is a practicing doctor herself. She believes that work plays a very important part of the daily conversation at home and if her partner doesn't know a flu from a cold she would really have nothing to talk about with him. In my opinion, that's incredibly selfish and snobbish. But she's my sister so I can't say anything about this to her!

I've still got time and perhaps I'll date around to see what's out there. It's not a must for him to be in the Health Care business, it's just a plus point. I'm fine with almost anything except for porn stars, bull fighter, politicians, weather forecasters, castration experts, clowns - these are just a few I can name from the top of my head.

Also I'm going to completely loose it and strangle whoever asks me if I feel excited when performing a prostrate examination. I've done two and believe me, there is nothing pleasant about them. Yuck!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

On a separate note, this post happens to be my 100th post and the next post is going to be the Blog Awards post. I've got my eyes on a few blog who deserve these trinkets of appreciation!

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Mrs Cohen is heartbroken. Her son has declared he's gay and intends to move in with his male lover. Mrs Goldblum comes round to comfort her. "Look on the bright side," she says. "He might be sleeping with another man, but at least he's a doctor..."

I read this joke somewhere earlier this week and wanted to share it with my mom. So I copy pasted the joke and emailed it to her - it's a trend with the two of us and also my mom loves getting any sort of mail. Yesterday I happened to remember it and asked her about it. She told me that she had read it and enjoyed it quite alot. To say that I was surprised, would be an understand. I predicted that she would enjoy it but not 'quite alot'. You see anything to do with homosexuality tends to put creases on my mother's forehead immediately.

I have wondered at times how it would be to have a boyfriend/life-partner who belongs to the same line of work as I do. I have no fetish for doctors but I must admit good doctor do tend to intrigue me. There is something about doctors that symbolizes determination, intelligence, a spark for life and class. People employed in the medical field - doctors, dentists, nurses, etc; have always had a certain advantage when it comes to being chosen as a life partner. In the Pakistani society getting married to a doctor - especially if you're not a doctor, is considered to be nothing less than amazing. In most eyes, you are instantly labeled as the 'It' couple. Everybody wants to be friends with you! Everybody wants you over for dinner! Everybody is in love with you! Why?

The answer is extremely simple but also incredibly stupid. Doctor/Doctor and Doctor/Non-Doctor couples have a higher chance of raising doctor babies. Making a good contact right now means your child could possibly be considered as a suitable match later on. In my opinion that's one of the most ridiculous things one can ever do because there is no guarantee that the baby which pops out of the so-called holy vagina is even going to choose this career or be successful at it.

Nowadays it's no longer about being a doctor. It's about being a great doctor. Keeping up with the latest medical trends, having the highest patient satisfactory rate, doing some ground breaking research and all that sort of stuff. Textbook supremacy is about as backward as black and white television.

Finding a gay doctor is going to be extremely hard. There are only five gay guys I know who are practicing medicine and two of them are completely off the shelf. I'm talking about Ryan and Junior, in case somebody is wondering. Given the restricted number of guys who are actually interested in establishing something long-term, it's going to be extremely difficult to find a doctor amongst them. Also is it going to be awkward sharing work space?

Perhaps!

Given that our entire agenda involves dealing with the public if the word gets out that we're gays, it could lead to a shift n the patient's notion about coming to us for a consultation. As bogus it is sounds, patients should not be considered with what I do outside of the hospital. But when he/she comes to me, it's his/her sand-box and I need to treat them to the best of my capabilities keeping my personal thoughts and feelings aside.

Doctors and dentists also tend to earn alot. By alot I mean freak'in filthy rich, wiping-asses-with-hundred-dollar-bills-rich! The first nine spots in the Biggest Earners list are held by various professions all belonging to the field of Health Care. CEOs grab the 10th spot, but the next five again belong to us again. However cushy our work sounds, it's extremely risky. Every patient who comes to us with whatever complaint be it a simple flu, a broken bone or cancer is hopeful and wants to get better. We have to do our job! We have to get them well soon! Malpractice is the real thing we have to worry about, that is omission by a health care provider that deviates from the norm and in turn causes injury or harm to the patient. That's shit scary!

Going back to doctors being top-notch earners, if the point of life comes along to adopt a child we would have the financial check box done with a big fat tick. But with the busy schedules doctors tend to have, is it advisable for both partners to be doctors?

I have alot of cousins who have married doctors and have kids of their own, they seem to be doing a good job. But a large part of the upbringing is being done by their parents aka the kids grandparents. Worth going to my mom for raising the kids?

I believe she's done a fantastic job with us guys. But the whole family set-up is definitely something my mother won't find easy to digest. And also, would landing a doctor partner, make it any easier for my parents to accept my sexuality any easier?

Once again, I'm doubtful about it. My parents- especially my mom would love to see her children have life partners who are doctor. But it's not a necessary thing. My elder sister is such a staunch follower of this rule that she doesn't even consider a proposal if it doesn't come from a doctor. By the way, my sister is a practicing doctor herself. She believes that work plays a very important part of the daily conversation at home and if her partner doesn't know a flu from a cold she would really have nothing to talk about with him. In my opinion, that's incredibly selfish and snobbish. But she's my sister so I can't say anything about this to her!

I've still got time and perhaps I'll date around to see what's out there. It's not a must for him to be in the Health Care business, it's just a plus point. I'm fine with almost anything except for porn stars, bull fighter, politicians, weather forecasters, castration experts, clowns - these are just a few I can name from the top of my head.

Also I'm going to completely loose it and strangle whoever asks me if I feel excited when performing a prostrate examination. I've done two and believe me, there is nothing pleasant about them. Yuck!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

On a separate note, this post happens to be my 100th post and the next post is going to be the Blog Awards post. I've got my eyes on a few blog who deserve these trinkets of appreciation!

The Seven Swans

It's been about a month and a half since I started going to the gym. I'm really pleased with my progress, I dropped 3 kilos. Now I'm resting happily on 75 kilos. I won't lie and say it was really awesome to loose that little flab, but now that I have done it I feel like a completely new person. I know it's just 3 kilos, but to me those 3 kilos seem like 30 kilos. My friends have noticed the weight loss and have commended my efforts, especially Ryan and Gracie. They are really happy that I'm doing something about it. Gracie never really said anything but always thought it was unhealthy. Ryan being a complete fitness freak didn't like me being flabby at all.

Mom is pleased with the effort as well. Now she wants me to put some meat on the bones. As I stated earlier, I'm short when it comes to height. I'm 5'5. Not much to me, is there?! :p

It's my firm belief that short guys can't really get all the muscle without looking like a steroid infused orangutan. Mumsy darling disagree firmly. Whenever she sees any short guy on the TV, she immediately points him out and says that if he's got a good built, so can I. She wants me to look basically something like Shahid Kapoor. It's gotten to a point that I don't bother sitting down to watch TV with my mom unless it's the news. No short guys with awesome bodies on the news; Yay!! So far she's pointed out to numerous actors including Tom Cruise, about whom she got to know from somebody that he's just 5'5 as well. I couldn't help but laugh at first. My mom is an extremely intelligent woman, proficient in the ways of the world and home. She is a doctor herself and a mighty successful one at that, MashAllah. So seeing her chant about something like this is not only surprising but slightly amusing. I keep telling her that I can loose weight and possibly gain some muscles as well. But there is no way in this ever loving world that I can have a body like Tom Cruise or Shahid Kapoor.

My kid sister is thoroughly enjoying this parade. Few days back she printed out the very same picture of Shahid that I have linked earlier in the post and stuck it to the top half of our refrigerator. At first I thought mom had placed it there so as to psyche me out of eating. I took it to mom to tell her that I've had enough of it. My sister was present with my mom at the same time and confessed that she was the one behind the prank. At that point I could not do anything but laugh. This clearly showed how ridiculous this whole thing really is, but my mom is not to be convinced. I'm still going to be going through the weight training as planned but I know my results will be nothing like what she wants. Nevertheless I have a feeling we both will be happy with them. While Shahid didn't not manage to convince me, something else has. Or rather somethings.

At the time slot where I am at the gym, there are these seven guys who I regularly see working out and they happen to be my biggest inspiration. Quite possibly because they're ordinary beings like me and not super-stars. They are there everyday working hard on their amazing bodies. They've seriously got everything I want! Pecs, biceps, triceps, glutes, obliques, flanks, abdominals, deltoids, quads. Name it and they've shaped everything into a lean, defined work of art. And they're really not that old. I think the eldest of them is 40 something, but damn he looks like he is in 30s. I couldn't believe it but my trainer dared me to go ask that man up. I could have but I was half-convinced myself. Plus it's really creepy to ask somebody about their age, especially if you don't them all that well. They work out and talk a little amongst themselves.

I asked my trainer how long since they have been doing their regimes. He said most of them have been around before he started working here but the manager may know about them. Again that's something I can't ask without sounding creepy. My next question was if they had trainers to which my cocky trainer responded with a smirk. "Do they look like they need trainer?!"

Trainer; One! Me; Zero!

Before I started the weights which was this Monday, I have been inside the weight room just once before which was on the day I got a tour from the owner. Ramadan were going on at that time so much of gym lay bare and those few who were working out, were trying not to sweat that much so as to prevent further exhaustion and dehydration. But now it's no restrictions, pure testosterone. They come in wearing their sleeveless vest with gym shorts, and leave with the shorts. I get to see just about everything and I like what I see. Now don't get me wrong, this kitten's claws haven't come out yet. I'm not crushing on them yet, which is quite surprising for me. Not even any of the younger ones tickle my pickle, but I guess given the recent events it seems somewhat logical.

My work-out regime at the moment contains weights of 5 kg and 10 kg, with more reps and less sets. Does that make sense?

My trainer is going to switch me up to different exercises later on as I proceed, so that I don't get bored doing the same. Changing exercises will also make sure the muscles keep on working and growing. I keep repeatedly stressing on the fact that I want to get lean and not pumped. My trainer assures that I'd get lean and not pumped. Let's hope he knows what he's doing to me!

Any advice from my readers is more than welcome. Also if you have any idea if Tom Cruise is really 5'5, please drop in a comment because I firmly believe that he's gotta be taller!

The Seven Swans

It's been about a month and a half since I started going to the gym. I'm really pleased with my progress, I dropped 3 kilos. Now I'm resting happily on 75 kilos. I won't lie and say it was really awesome to loose that little flab, but now that I have done it I feel like a completely new person. I know it's just 3 kilos, but to me those 3 kilos seem like 30 kilos. My friends have noticed the weight loss and have commended my efforts, especially Ryan and Gracie. They are really happy that I'm doing something about it. Gracie never really said anything but always thought it was unhealthy. Ryan being a complete fitness freak didn't like me being flabby at all.

Mom is pleased with the effort as well. Now she wants me to put some meat on the bones. As I stated earlier, I'm short when it comes to height. I'm 5'5. Not much to me, is there?! :p

It's my firm belief that short guys can't really get all the muscle without looking like a steroid infused orangutan. Mumsy darling disagree firmly. Whenever she sees any short guy on the TV, she immediately points him out and says that if he's got a good built, so can I. She wants me to look basically something like Shahid Kapoor. It's gotten to a point that I don't bother sitting down to watch TV with my mom unless it's the news. No short guys with awesome bodies on the news; Yay!! So far she's pointed out to numerous actors including Tom Cruise, about whom she got to know from somebody that he's just 5'5 as well. I couldn't help but laugh at first. My mom is an extremely intelligent woman, proficient in the ways of the world and home. She is a doctor herself and a mighty successful one at that, MashAllah. So seeing her chant about something like this is not only surprising but slightly amusing. I keep telling her that I can loose weight and possibly gain some muscles as well. But there is no way in this ever loving world that I can have a body like Tom Cruise or Shahid Kapoor.

My kid sister is thoroughly enjoying this parade. Few days back she printed out the very same picture of Shahid that I have linked earlier in the post and stuck it to the top half of our refrigerator. At first I thought mom had placed it there so as to psyche me out of eating. I took it to mom to tell her that I've had enough of it. My sister was present with my mom at the same time and confessed that she was the one behind the prank. At that point I could not do anything but laugh. This clearly showed how ridiculous this whole thing really is, but my mom is not to be convinced. I'm still going to be going through the weight training as planned but I know my results will be nothing like what she wants. Nevertheless I have a feeling we both will be happy with them. While Shahid didn't not manage to convince me, something else has. Or rather somethings.

At the time slot where I am at the gym, there are these seven guys who I regularly see working out and they happen to be my biggest inspiration. Quite possibly because they're ordinary beings like me and not super-stars. They are there everyday working hard on their amazing bodies. They've seriously got everything I want! Pecs, biceps, triceps, glutes, obliques, flanks, abdominals, deltoids, quads. Name it and they've shaped everything into a lean, defined work of art. And they're really not that old. I think the eldest of them is 40 something, but damn he looks like he is in 30s. I couldn't believe it but my trainer dared me to go ask that man up. I could have but I was half-convinced myself. Plus it's really creepy to ask somebody about their age, especially if you don't them all that well. They work out and talk a little amongst themselves.

I asked my trainer how long since they have been doing their regimes. He said most of them have been around before he started working here but the manager may know about them. Again that's something I can't ask without sounding creepy. My next question was if they had trainers to which my cocky trainer responded with a smirk. "Do they look like they need trainer?!"

Trainer; One! Me; Zero!

Before I started the weights which was this Monday, I have been inside the weight room just once before which was on the day I got a tour from the owner. Ramadan were going on at that time so much of gym lay bare and those few who were working out, were trying not to sweat that much so as to prevent further exhaustion and dehydration. But now it's no restrictions, pure testosterone. They come in wearing their sleeveless vest with gym shorts, and leave with the shorts. I get to see just about everything and I like what I see. Now don't get me wrong, this kitten's claws haven't come out yet. I'm not crushing on them yet, which is quite surprising for me. Not even any of the younger ones tickle my pickle, but I guess given the recent events it seems somewhat logical.

My work-out regime at the moment contains weights of 5 kg and 10 kg, with more reps and less sets. Does that make sense?

My trainer is going to switch me up to different exercises later on as I proceed, so that I don't get bored doing the same. Changing exercises will also make sure the muscles keep on working and growing. I keep repeatedly stressing on the fact that I want to get lean and not pumped. My trainer assures that I'd get lean and not pumped. Let's hope he knows what he's doing to me!

Any advice from my readers is more than welcome. Also if you have any idea if Tom Cruise is really 5'5, please drop in a comment because I firmly believe that he's gotta be taller!

Mothers are Awesome

After showing this to a number of mothers I know, including my own, I'm pretty damn sure all mothers are the same. It's like some gene gets activated the moment the child is born and no force in this world can change it!



I have always shared a special bond with my mother. But before I start posting about the awesome mom I have, I need to post about alot more stuff. But count on it, that my mum is going to be making an appearance sometime sooner or later.

I can't tell you how many of the things this awesome lady has mentioned my siblings and I hear just about every single day. Once my mom asked me what kind of kids I would like to have?. I really didn't know how to respond to her, "Like Baji! They do all the work without me having to say anything, but I get all the credit anyway!" I said after alot of thinking, "If even one of my children turns out like me, I'm going to go crazy!". Baji is a word we use to address to our elder sisters. My elder sister is like the perfect daughter anyone can ever hope for.

My mom laughed at my response, "You will love your kids no matter how they are! That's what parents do! Nothing natural can ever make a parent hate their child!". By the way, this was way before I had realized that I was gay. My opinion was solely based on all the trouble I got into and how hard I was to handle. For example, I hated taking baths when I was seven years old. I literally had to be forced to take a bath, which naturally took alot of effort. I would climb door sills so that no one could reach me high up. Mom had to stand underneath for hours till I would get tired and fall down. She would place these cushions so I don't hurt myself when I fall. LOL! I was such a brat!

Also this goes out to all moms out there! I don't care if you're not my mom, you are someone's mom and just for that you deserve the biggest pat on back ever!

Mothers are Awesome

After showing this to a number of mothers I know, including my own, I'm pretty damn sure all mothers are the same. It's like some gene gets activated the moment the child is born and no force in this world can change it!



I have always shared a special bond with my mother. But before I start posting about the awesome mom I have, I need to post about alot more stuff. But count on it, that my mum is going to be making an appearance sometime sooner or later.

I can't tell you how many of the things this awesome lady has mentioned my siblings and I hear just about every single day. Once my mom asked me what kind of kids I would like to have?. I really didn't know how to respond to her, "Like Baji! They do all the work without me having to say anything, but I get all the credit anyway!" I said after alot of thinking, "If even one of my children turns out like me, I'm going to go crazy!". Baji is a word we use to address to our elder sisters. My elder sister is like the perfect daughter anyone can ever hope for.

My mom laughed at my response, "You will love your kids no matter how they are! That's what parents do! Nothing natural can ever make a parent hate their child!". By the way, this was way before I had realized that I was gay. My opinion was solely based on all the trouble I got into and how hard I was to handle. For example, I hated taking baths when I was seven years old. I literally had to be forced to take a bath, which naturally took alot of effort. I would climb door sills so that no one could reach me high up. Mom had to stand underneath for hours till I would get tired and fall down. She would place these cushions so I don't hurt myself when I fall. LOL! I was such a brat!

Also this goes out to all moms out there! I don't care if you're not my mom, you are someone's mom and just for that you deserve the biggest pat on back ever!

Monster Boyfriend

Towards the end of his stay, Nathan and I couldn't manage to meet as often as we wanted to. He had some things going on in his family that required his immediate attention, thankfully the situation got resolved before he left. I was busy in my cousin's wedding, being one of the few able young men around and the only one of these young men on vacations, I was taking somebody or the other shopping almost every other day. We both were absolutely hating it but we couldn't do anything about. Bless text messaging, otherwise I seriously don't know how we would have managed.

Later on, Nathan's stay got extended and we had 5 more days where I won't have a wedding to worry about and Nathan was free as well. However things didn't go as planned because in those 5 days violence erupted in Karachi bringing everything to a halt and when the violence subsided it rained on our parade...literally!

The wedding was originally supposed to happen on 3rd August, which was exactly the second day of violence. Needless to say the wedding was postponed and that too, for the third time. Earlier it was because the girl's grand-mother had to go under knee surgery and the wedding needed to take place after she had recuperated. After that it was delayed because the groom's sister couldn't make it in time because she had her post-graduation exams. Keeping all that in mind, the families of both sides decided that the wedding would take place as soon as the situation gets better. Wednesday night we got the call that the wedding was on Friday, I was expecting it to be next week. With the wedding being on Friday, the groom's family decided to hold the reception the very next day. The reception was originally supposed to happen on Wednesday.

I was in the most horrible mood ever but after some talking, we decided to meet on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Nathan was flying back Sunday night. We couldn't meet for as long as we would have liked but given the situation, even a few moments would be amazing. But Lady Luck wasn't kind to us and just as we met on Saturday, it started raining very heavily. My mum started freaking out and told me to come home immediately. We must have been together for like 15 minutes only. Having no choice, we hugged quickly and said our good-byes. As I drove home, it started to rain cats and dogs. This was my first ever time driving in the rain and I was shit-scared. The adrenaline rush that surged through my body was the only thing that kept me going as I drove through bumper to bumper traffic in heavy rain continuously wiping the inside of the wind-shield and keeping my nerves from getting the best of me. It took me about and hour and half to reach home, that's about 30 minutes more than usual.

After the heavy rain on Saturday, we couldn't meet on Sunday. Primarily because Nathan still had some shopping to do that he couldn't get done the day earlier and also because my mum was in no way letting me drive with black clouds looming over the city. To say that I was pissed, would be a minor statement. Nathan maintained his cool really well. He kept telling me that we tried out best but given the circumstances we were most likely to loose. I wish I would have done the same but I wasn't. I had transformed into the gruesome creature I refer to as Monster Boyfriend!

Who or exactly what is a Monster Boyfriend?, you may ask.

A monster boyfriend is a clingy, self-absorbed, possessive, inconsiderate, short-tempered, inquisitive, creepy freak that refuses to take 'No' for an answer and has completely lost the ability to see or hear anything beyond himself. He diverts the conversation when it's not going as planned and keeps asking nagging questions that are only of his best interest. He has the uncanny ability to throw tantrums at the drop of a hat and is constantly begging for affection. That was me all the time yesterday except just before Nathan was about to board the plane.

In the small break we took when Nathan had to load the car and, go around hugging and saying good-byes to his relatives I cycled back through the messages we had exchanged during the day. And it hit me like lightening! I was such a pain in the ass to the poor kid. He had so much stuff to do and so little time to do it all in, I should have known better. I should have been supportive and not miserable.

Surprisingly Nathan didn't get mad or anything, which also makes my head hang low in shame. He cracked his jokes, kept reminding me that would be back next year and that he loves me. He knew I was going through a hard-time but never did he once snap back, complain and make any sort of drama. I knew this moment would come and I thought I would be ready for it. I thought I would be able to let go easily but with the plans of meeting up not working out I guess I got frustrated. Also possibly the fact that Nathan was very cool about the entire thing made him the most likely target for my hits.

I apologized for my behavior when we were exchanging messages, he was sitting in the waiting lounge at that time. I felt really bad but he kept telling me not to think too much over it and to be brave. So now I'm trying to be brave which basically means no stalking his Facebook updates, no sending him IMs on Yahoo! after every half an hour or sending him ridiculous scraps on Orkut. Yes, I've done all that previously at various moments over the past few months when he wasn't in Pakistan. Besides he's probably sleeping right now which is cool. He didn't get to do much of that yesterday with the last minute shopping and packing.

The good thing is that with him being back home, he would be able to be online. You just maybe able to read his version of the story and his blog. And I have to admit, even I'm kinda excited. But yeah, it's perfectly okay if he doesn't. No more being the Monster Boyfriend for me!

Monster Boyfriend

Towards the end of his stay, Nathan and I couldn't manage to meet as often as we wanted to. He had some things going on in his family that required his immediate attention, thankfully the situation got resolved before he left. I was busy in my cousin's wedding, being one of the few able young men around and the only one of these young men on vacations, I was taking somebody or the other shopping almost every other day. We both were absolutely hating it but we couldn't do anything about. Bless text messaging, otherwise I seriously don't know how we would have managed.

Later on, Nathan's stay got extended and we had 5 more days where I won't have a wedding to worry about and Nathan was free as well. However things didn't go as planned because in those 5 days violence erupted in Karachi bringing everything to a halt and when the violence subsided it rained on our parade...literally!

The wedding was originally supposed to happen on 3rd August, which was exactly the second day of violence. Needless to say the wedding was postponed and that too, for the third time. Earlier it was because the girl's grand-mother had to go under knee surgery and the wedding needed to take place after she had recuperated. After that it was delayed because the groom's sister couldn't make it in time because she had her post-graduation exams. Keeping all that in mind, the families of both sides decided that the wedding would take place as soon as the situation gets better. Wednesday night we got the call that the wedding was on Friday, I was expecting it to be next week. With the wedding being on Friday, the groom's family decided to hold the reception the very next day. The reception was originally supposed to happen on Wednesday.

I was in the most horrible mood ever but after some talking, we decided to meet on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Nathan was flying back Sunday night. We couldn't meet for as long as we would have liked but given the situation, even a few moments would be amazing. But Lady Luck wasn't kind to us and just as we met on Saturday, it started raining very heavily. My mum started freaking out and told me to come home immediately. We must have been together for like 15 minutes only. Having no choice, we hugged quickly and said our good-byes. As I drove home, it started to rain cats and dogs. This was my first ever time driving in the rain and I was shit-scared. The adrenaline rush that surged through my body was the only thing that kept me going as I drove through bumper to bumper traffic in heavy rain continuously wiping the inside of the wind-shield and keeping my nerves from getting the best of me. It took me about and hour and half to reach home, that's about 30 minutes more than usual.

After the heavy rain on Saturday, we couldn't meet on Sunday. Primarily because Nathan still had some shopping to do that he couldn't get done the day earlier and also because my mum was in no way letting me drive with black clouds looming over the city. To say that I was pissed, would be a minor statement. Nathan maintained his cool really well. He kept telling me that we tried out best but given the circumstances we were most likely to loose. I wish I would have done the same but I wasn't. I had transformed into the gruesome creature I refer to as Monster Boyfriend!

Who or exactly what is a Monster Boyfriend?, you may ask.

A monster boyfriend is a clingy, self-absorbed, possessive, inconsiderate, short-tempered, inquisitive, creepy freak that refuses to take 'No' for an answer and has completely lost the ability to see or hear anything beyond himself. He diverts the conversation when it's not going as planned and keeps asking nagging questions that are only of his best interest. He has the uncanny ability to throw tantrums at the drop of a hat and is constantly begging for affection. That was me all the time yesterday except just before Nathan was about to board the plane.

In the small break we took when Nathan had to load the car and, go around hugging and saying good-byes to his relatives I cycled back through the messages we had exchanged during the day. And it hit me like lightening! I was such a pain in the ass to the poor kid. He had so much stuff to do and so little time to do it all in, I should have known better. I should have been supportive and not miserable.

Surprisingly Nathan didn't get mad or anything, which also makes my head hang low in shame. He cracked his jokes, kept reminding me that would be back next year and that he loves me. He knew I was going through a hard-time but never did he once snap back, complain and make any sort of drama. I knew this moment would come and I thought I would be ready for it. I thought I would be able to let go easily but with the plans of meeting up not working out I guess I got frustrated. Also possibly the fact that Nathan was very cool about the entire thing made him the most likely target for my hits.

I apologized for my behavior when we were exchanging messages, he was sitting in the waiting lounge at that time. I felt really bad but he kept telling me not to think too much over it and to be brave. So now I'm trying to be brave which basically means no stalking his Facebook updates, no sending him IMs on Yahoo! after every half an hour or sending him ridiculous scraps on Orkut. Yes, I've done all that previously at various moments over the past few months when he wasn't in Pakistan. Besides he's probably sleeping right now which is cool. He didn't get to do much of that yesterday with the last minute shopping and packing.

The good thing is that with him being back home, he would be able to be online. You just maybe able to read his version of the story and his blog. And I have to admit, even I'm kinda excited. But yeah, it's perfectly okay if he doesn't. No more being the Monster Boyfriend for me!

That Nagging Thought

Ryan called really late Wednesday night. "Dude, it's 3 am in the night! Couldn't you call me in the day?", I asked.

"It's 2 pm! I just got up! Everybody's gone and I'm freak'in hungry!", he said. "You know how to make anything?", he asks.

"Ryan, seriously not in the mood to joke right now!", I growl.

"Is it because I called up so late or something else?", he asks.


"I just came back from a mayun and I'm really tired. Also I'm kind of in a bad place right now.", I reply. "And I was hoping to go to sleep, so as to get these thoughts of out my head." Mayun is a celebration exclusively for the groom's family, it's where the family wishes the groom well for his martial journey. Consider it like a very traditional bachelor party; no strippers, no alcohol, no table-top dancing. I really don't know how to describe, but it is an extremely fun event.

"How's Nathan?", he asked.

"He's good. Sort of busy with some stuff with his family, but otherwise he's good. We've met about five times and he's here for about 9 more days, so we're going to try to meet-up again a couple of more times. So it's kind of a bittersweet thing!", I tell him. We had a minor conversation about college updates, friends, the new semester, the new clinical schedule and a Russian hook-up he particularly enjoyed.

"So exactly what has gotten you blue, dude?", he asked.

"It's just something! I'll be fine once I've slept for a couple of hours!", I reply.

"No, it's something big. I know you. It's not that easy to pull you down." Ryan says. "Is it because of the wedding? Your coat isn't the shade of blue you wanted it to be?"

"Oh shut up! It's because of the wedding, Ryan!" I snap back.

"Aha!", Ryan yell triumphantly. "So now that you have told me what's the matter, why not giving out a few details?", he asks.

"Dude, there is really nothing to tell!", I moan. "I went to a mayun and I'll be going to another celebration on Friday night. And then another on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm sad because I'll never actually be having all that for myself. At least not if I stay with Nathan or any guy for that matter!".

After a moment of silence, "But you already knew that before you got into this with Nathan, didn't you?", he asked.

"Obviously I did. I'm usually fine with it. Before today, it had never really bothered me.", I tell him. "But today after seeing all that happiness, my aunt's face (Groom's mother), all the celebration. It made me a little sad that I won't ever get to see that day for myself!"

"There is really no point in feeling sad over it.", he said casually. "The wedding bug has got you bad, man! You'll be fine once this wedding has passed and you are busy once more in college matters."

"Yeah!", I replied half-heartedly. He was right on on his accord, but still it's not that easy to flip the sad-happy switch.

"Being gay is difficult.", he said in a grave tone. "Actually difficult is a very small word to describe it. Besides the constant discrimination and insult, things aren't the same for us. One thing that you need to realize is that there is really not much to celebrate about and also not many people there to celebrate with!" I didn't know what to reply to that. For a small time none of us said anything, "So if you want to go ahead with this, be sure about the person you have chosen and get ready to fight for alot of things."

Ryan painted an ugly picture, but who hasn't heard of the ugly truth. If I come out to my whole clan, maybe I can get them to accept me. But would they accept the life-style that comes along with it?

I think not!

But it's a long way to go before that point comes, so I'm in no hurry. But that nagging thought is still dominating my mind. Mum has picked on something off about me lately, I told her that the wedding preparations have got me tried. That's not entirely a lie, they are really tiring. I really don't mind do all the wedding work, it makes me feel really happy. But like I said, the nagging thought is not letting go.

That Nagging Thought

Ryan called really late Wednesday night. "Dude, it's 3 am in the night! Couldn't you call me in the day?", I asked.

"It's 2 pm! I just got up! Everybody's gone and I'm freak'in hungry!", he said. "You know how to make anything?", he asks.

"Ryan, seriously not in the mood to joke right now!", I growl.

"Is it because I called up so late or something else?", he asks.


"I just came back from a mayun and I'm really tired. Also I'm kind of in a bad place right now.", I reply. "And I was hoping to go to sleep, so as to get these thoughts of out my head." Mayun is a celebration exclusively for the groom's family, it's where the family wishes the groom well for his martial journey. Consider it like a very traditional bachelor party; no strippers, no alcohol, no table-top dancing. I really don't know how to describe, but it is an extremely fun event.

"How's Nathan?", he asked.

"He's good. Sort of busy with some stuff with his family, but otherwise he's good. We've met about five times and he's here for about 9 more days, so we're going to try to meet-up again a couple of more times. So it's kind of a bittersweet thing!", I tell him. We had a minor conversation about college updates, friends, the new semester, the new clinical schedule and a Russian hook-up he particularly enjoyed.

"So exactly what has gotten you blue, dude?", he asked.

"It's just something! I'll be fine once I've slept for a couple of hours!", I reply.

"No, it's something big. I know you. It's not that easy to pull you down." Ryan says. "Is it because of the wedding? Your coat isn't the shade of blue you wanted it to be?"

"Oh shut up! It's because of the wedding, Ryan!" I snap back.

"Aha!", Ryan yell triumphantly. "So now that you have told me what's the matter, why not giving out a few details?", he asks.

"Dude, there is really nothing to tell!", I moan. "I went to a mayun and I'll be going to another celebration on Friday night. And then another on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm sad because I'll never actually be having all that for myself. At least not if I stay with Nathan or any guy for that matter!".

After a moment of silence, "But you already knew that before you got into this with Nathan, didn't you?", he asked.

"Obviously I did. I'm usually fine with it. Before today, it had never really bothered me.", I tell him. "But today after seeing all that happiness, my aunt's face (Groom's mother), all the celebration. It made me a little sad that I won't ever get to see that day for myself!"

"There is really no point in feeling sad over it.", he said casually. "The wedding bug has got you bad, man! You'll be fine once this wedding has passed and you are busy once more in college matters."

"Yeah!", I replied half-heartedly. He was right on on his accord, but still it's not that easy to flip the sad-happy switch.

"Being gay is difficult.", he said in a grave tone. "Actually difficult is a very small word to describe it. Besides the constant discrimination and insult, things aren't the same for us. One thing that you need to realize is that there is really not much to celebrate about and also not many people there to celebrate with!" I didn't know what to reply to that. For a small time none of us said anything, "So if you want to go ahead with this, be sure about the person you have chosen and get ready to fight for alot of things."

Ryan painted an ugly picture, but who hasn't heard of the ugly truth. If I come out to my whole clan, maybe I can get them to accept me. But would they accept the life-style that comes along with it?

I think not!

But it's a long way to go before that point comes, so I'm in no hurry. But that nagging thought is still dominating my mind. Mum has picked on something off about me lately, I told her that the wedding preparations have got me tried. That's not entirely a lie, they are really tiring. I really don't mind do all the wedding work, it makes me feel really happy. But like I said, the nagging thought is not letting go.

Seriously?

I really don't consider myself to be a looker. So when somebody tells me that they have got a crush on me, all I can say in response is 'Seriously?'

I, honestly, don't think that I am even minutely crush-worthy. Maybe it's because of how I feel about crushes in general. I really don't think I'm good looking. If I had to pick a word to describe myself, I would choose cute. Mostly because that's a comment I have been getting since I was a little kid. Almost everybody in my family thinks I'm cute. Cute is a word you use to describe babies, infants, children and possibly twinks. Not 22 year old university going students!

Also for me, cute doesn't cut it for a crush in the Looks Department. You need to be good-looking, dashing or handsome. If any of the previously three mentioned adjectives apply to a person, I believe that the said person could possibly become a crush. But that's strictly based entirely on visual appeal. If you go into other categories, everything changes!

I'm short, 5'5 to be exact. Again that's something I would not call attractive, and leads to the 'Seriously?' remark when someone announces it. But then they haven't met me in-person so their comment could change upon meeting. But so far I've only met seven guys, two of which I didn't date but know them from around my college. One being Ryan and the other a junior who I discovered through Orkut. Those I met had the same comment, 'You're cute!' This adds to the fact that I'm often mistaken for being younger than I actually am. On the first day of my clinical rounds, the doctor thought I was an attendant trying to sneak in. Ryan and the others came to my rescue, she wasn't letting me say anything in my defense. I had to show my Student ID card, the lady didn't even apologize for her rude behavior.

The other thing which makes me unattractive, in my opinion, is that I'm chubby. Yeah, I'm not skinny. I have never been skinny. Not that I support being skinny or think that it's hot. But I do like guys with some definition. The sad thing that happened with me was that my weight gain happened around the same time as the natural growth spurt. I seriously wish at times I was a tad bit taller. My younger brother who's in the growth spurt age right now, I'm monitoring his diet very strictly. I don't want him to have this complex that I have.

Also I think that's why I find tall guys attractive. My mother is on my case to loose weight, she's scared because of the history of high blood pressure in our family. I've had my blood pressure measured twice, last time was about four months back. It wasn't high, but mum is still pretty scared about it. I think mum worries too much and I think I got that from her. But yeah, she's a mom and all moms are that way.

My hair which I love the most are most of the time a complete mess. Unless there is something to hold them together, they are a pile of loose straw. There is a reason that when in 9th Grade, our school planned a production of one of the scenes from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I was selected for that part of Harry without any audition. I was excited beyond belief, I was getting to play one of my favorite characters of all time. Another boy who was hoping for the same part made a remark about how I got the part solely based because of my appearance. But I really didn't care!

Nathan is a regular gym goer, he says the same thing. He wants me to healthy up myself abit, he says the same thing as my mom. I keep meaning to go the gym but I feel conscious because every guy there has all cuts and curves in the right places. Ryan, who also works out, pushes me to go the gym. "Fat people go to the gym as well, you know!", he tells me. "You join and go persistently, you'd be trimmed in a few months. I could even hook you up with a trainer!". My cousin used to be a trainer, now he works in a bank but still regularly goes to a gym. He personally offered to be my trainer. So I guess at this point if I'm still chubby, it's because I'm a lazy person. I plan on going to start soon, especially since Nathan and I have a competition going on about who can develop a six-pack first. I have a feeling, he may win because I have a longer distance to go on this road but that's no reason to give up. The thing I have to do is start working out, I'm already pretty conscious about my nutrition, so I have one less thing to do on the weight-loss journey. Speaking of loosing weight, I'm leaving the link of an excellent weight-loss blog. You can check it out here and follow if you feel like.

I seriously wish at times that I had the chance to learn some form of dance. Dances are so flexible, agile and loaded with immense amounts of goods in their looks. They are always some cute dancers in every season of So You Think You Can Dance. I'm totally conked out over Kent from the latest season. I know he's all goofy, also this particular crush makes me feel like such a cougar. LOL!

I've had some people crush on me, but sadly I wasn't able to reciprocate it. Thinking about it, the crushes I've had or at least the ones I divulged, they weren't reciprocated either. And that's another reason why I'm not very fond of crushes!

Hope you all are having an amazing summer. I know I am! I'm completely loving the weather nowadays. Completely loving it!

Seriously?

I really don't consider myself to be a looker. So when somebody tells me that they have got a crush on me, all I can say in response is 'Seriously?'

I, honestly, don't think that I am even minutely crush-worthy. Maybe it's because of how I feel about crushes in general. I really don't think I'm good looking. If I had to pick a word to describe myself, I would choose cute. Mostly because that's a comment I have been getting since I was a little kid. Almost everybody in my family thinks I'm cute. Cute is a word you use to describe babies, infants, children and possibly twinks. Not 22 year old university going students!

Also for me, cute doesn't cut it for a crush in the Looks Department. You need to be good-looking, dashing or handsome. If any of the previously three mentioned adjectives apply to a person, I believe that the said person could possibly become a crush. But that's strictly based entirely on visual appeal. If you go into other categories, everything changes!

I'm short, 5'5 to be exact. Again that's something I would not call attractive, and leads to the 'Seriously?' remark when someone announces it. But then they haven't met me in-person so their comment could change upon meeting. But so far I've only met seven guys, two of which I didn't date but know them from around my college. One being Ryan and the other a junior who I discovered through Orkut. Those I met had the same comment, 'You're cute!' This adds to the fact that I'm often mistaken for being younger than I actually am. On the first day of my clinical rounds, the doctor thought I was an attendant trying to sneak in. Ryan and the others came to my rescue, she wasn't letting me say anything in my defense. I had to show my Student ID card, the lady didn't even apologize for her rude behavior.

The other thing which makes me unattractive, in my opinion, is that I'm chubby. Yeah, I'm not skinny. I have never been skinny. Not that I support being skinny or think that it's hot. But I do like guys with some definition. The sad thing that happened with me was that my weight gain happened around the same time as the natural growth spurt. I seriously wish at times I was a tad bit taller. My younger brother who's in the growth spurt age right now, I'm monitoring his diet very strictly. I don't want him to have this complex that I have.

Also I think that's why I find tall guys attractive. My mother is on my case to loose weight, she's scared because of the history of high blood pressure in our family. I've had my blood pressure measured twice, last time was about four months back. It wasn't high, but mum is still pretty scared about it. I think mum worries too much and I think I got that from her. But yeah, she's a mom and all moms are that way.

My hair which I love the most are most of the time a complete mess. Unless there is something to hold them together, they are a pile of loose straw. There is a reason that when in 9th Grade, our school planned a production of one of the scenes from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I was selected for that part of Harry without any audition. I was excited beyond belief, I was getting to play one of my favorite characters of all time. Another boy who was hoping for the same part made a remark about how I got the part solely based because of my appearance. But I really didn't care!

Nathan is a regular gym goer, he says the same thing. He wants me to healthy up myself abit, he says the same thing as my mom. I keep meaning to go the gym but I feel conscious because every guy there has all cuts and curves in the right places. Ryan, who also works out, pushes me to go the gym. "Fat people go to the gym as well, you know!", he tells me. "You join and go persistently, you'd be trimmed in a few months. I could even hook you up with a trainer!". My cousin used to be a trainer, now he works in a bank but still regularly goes to a gym. He personally offered to be my trainer. So I guess at this point if I'm still chubby, it's because I'm a lazy person. I plan on going to start soon, especially since Nathan and I have a competition going on about who can develop a six-pack first. I have a feeling, he may win because I have a longer distance to go on this road but that's no reason to give up. The thing I have to do is start working out, I'm already pretty conscious about my nutrition, so I have one less thing to do on the weight-loss journey. Speaking of loosing weight, I'm leaving the link of an excellent weight-loss blog. You can check it out here and follow if you feel like.

I seriously wish at times that I had the chance to learn some form of dance. Dances are so flexible, agile and loaded with immense amounts of goods in their looks. They are always some cute dancers in every season of So You Think You Can Dance. I'm totally conked out over Kent from the latest season. I know he's all goofy, also this particular crush makes me feel like such a cougar. LOL!

I've had some people crush on me, but sadly I wasn't able to reciprocate it. Thinking about it, the crushes I've had or at least the ones I divulged, they weren't reciprocated either. And that's another reason why I'm not very fond of crushes!

Hope you all are having an amazing summer. I know I am! I'm completely loving the weather nowadays. Completely loving it!