No Girls Allowed

I rarely remember the things that come in my dreams, but what I dreamt of last night I shall never be able to forget. Before you start thinking that it was one of the most amazing dreams I could ever have where I was making out the hottest guy anyone could imagine, let me stop you!

I was not dreaming about a guy. I was not dreaming about ANY guy. Infact I was dreaming about a girl. Yes, I had my first ever wet dream involving a girl. However I also think it will be my last. Want to know why?

My brain doesn’t like it when I dream about girls. The dislike is to such an extent that it sabotages my dreams, so that they become living nightmares. I’m not kidding you! When I woke up in the morning today, I rechecked my surroundings to see if life was still the same as it was when I went to sleep. Yeah, my brain totally kicked my first female wet dream’s ass.

It started out innocent enough. I was laying next to this blonde chick. I do not find blondes attractive. I admit I like my guys with paler shades of hair. But I prefer females in shades of rich brunettes, kind of like Hillary Duff. I loved her Dignity era make-over. Anyhow back to my dream. Strangely enough, she couldn’t speak English or Urdu. We were talking in some weird sign language. Could she be Russian?

If so, oh man! Loosing virginity to a Russian woman would be so cool. Who manages their first time with Russian lass?!

Well except Russian lads, that is! :p

So we were laying on the bed, at first just some talking going on. Eventually it moves to us getting undressed and we get on with the dirty deed. So I’m on her and basically doing everything a man does to a woman. We’re kissing! We’re love biting! We’re running our hands through each other’s hair which by the way is completely awesome! We’re humping, or I’m humping and she’s getting humped! And…my parents burst into the room!

WTF! WTF! WTF!

I can’t begin to recall how many explicit wet dreams I’ve had involving guys and not a single one of them has ever been interrupted by my parents. Not a single one!

“What the hell are you doing?”, my mom screams.

“What are you doing here?”, I reply back.

“We came to check on if you were studying or sleeping!”, my dad responds.

“Get out! Get out!”, I start shouting. Thankfully I wrapped the sheet around myself and her, even my dreams self is extremely self-conscious.

I push them out of the room and follow them out, still in sheets. “What the heck were you doing?”, my mom asks again.

“What does it look I was doing?”

“Why the hell were you having sex?” my dad asks.

“I wanted to know if I can have sex with a woman even though I’m gay!” I scream.

“Your gay?!” they respond in unison.

I don’t remember exactly what happened after that, but I recall some more fighting taking place and me screaming out of this huge castle tower, “I’m gay! I’m gay!”, I do believe my parents did something like locking me up there.

I woke up from it all with this weird spinning feeling in my head. I looked around and about to see where I was. For a moment I thought it had really happened and I buried myself in blankets. But then I remembered that I have a presentation due today and realized I have to get my butt to college by 9AM.  

Whew! I’m still in the closet!

I lay back and recalled the entire dream. I don’t know why but I just did it, and then I erupted into snorting laughter. So it’s settled now, I’m meant to be gay. If I try to be straight, my brain will sabotage me and ruin whatever I am trying to do. Guess I’m stuck with guys!

Sorry girls! You have to count me out. My mind is reserving me a guys!