When browsing Online I can talk with the best of them and probably do it better than most. But my balloon pops when it comes to showing my picture. I'm not the sexiest or the hottest guy you'll ever meet. As I have said in the blog before, the word 'cute' is generally used to describe me. And I don't mind it much.
What can I do?
I was born this way, baby!
One of my earliest memories is from 1st Grade when my Urdu language teacher pinched my cheek and told me how cute I am. Later it was my 3rd and 4th Grade teacher. I think my 5th Grade teacher said something as well, but I don't quite remember it. I was her prize pupil, which I remember clearly. Then I changed schools and my new school gave me the same treatment. For some reason, people loved pulling my cheek. Josh commented on it once as well that I have very 'pullable' cheeks and he's not the only one to say so. There have been others as well. So I had this fact down long before I even stepped into the Online world of cruising.
But now that I came here, the rules of the game drastically changed my perception. I contacted guys and some of them responded back. Sometimes I would get a message out of the blue from some guy who seemed genuinely interested. Everything went smooth and fine up till the time came to show my pictures. Except for the few that I have went out with, the rest either always stopped talking to me or changed in how the would respond to my messages. They didn't need to say it, I knew it already.
It used to bother me so much that I can't put it to words. I could have objected to their dark skin tone, acne, unkempt hair, slight belly or the double chin under development. But I didn't. As much as sometimes I feel repulsed by how someone looks, I do give them a chance to prove themselves as something more. Personality is far more important. What's the use of having a model material boyfriend if he doesn't give you respect?!
I have never asked for model looks but somehow have been blessed with such given my previous boyfriends, Bruce and Nathan. I realized that my problem really has no solution since nearly every guy out there has a six-pack check box on their check list. I resigned to being friends with what I could get and that worked for me. But just for a while!
"Why don't you put up your face picture?", Ryan suggested one day when I told him about my dilemma. "Sometimes guys you never thought would be interested in you, actually do stop for a second look at your profile and things can go somewhere."
"I know, but I can't take that risk. At least not while I am in Pakistan!", I told Ryan. I didn't tell Ryan that my rejection could possibly be due to the junk in my trunk - not that kind!
Then one day while randomly browsing, I was hit with a brilliant but a tad bit desperate idea. I wanted to check that if there was actually something wrong with me so I made a completely new profile. Every single detail on the profile was the same as my original profile. I didn't even change a single word in my 'About Me' section. The only difference between these two profiles was that the new profile held several of my face pictures - the same that I used on my other profiles except that they were hidden and could be only viewed if I allowed the other person to see them. The other difference was the location. This profile didn't state my true location Pakistan. I put down United Kingdom.
Later when I logged on at night, I was actually surprised to see quite a few responses. They were the usual but still a response is a response. These people were fine with how I looked, and some even took the time to read my profile and respond keenly. I added them on messengers and chatted with some of them. These guys liked me. They really did like me!
I changed my profile location to 'Egypt' and got similar result. I didn't exactly get Harem quality but I am not looking for that either. These guys were decent, educated, looking for commitment and good looking enough to turn me on. Why should I care if none of them have the potential to grace Men's Health covers?!
All this was good, but why do I keep striking out in my homeland?!
Could it be because I look Indian and that's something of a rarity in United Kingdom and Egypt?
Certainly not!
So as a last try, I changed my location to 'Bangladesh' and from the meager population that resided there, I got a few responses. One guy really stood above the rest and I really could not believe that he was interested in me. He kept asking for my phone number which I obviously couldn't give him, but I later got an opportunity to talk to him on phone which I will post about later sometime.
But all this proved to me that I look okay if not good. I don't need to worry about how I look, the problem doesn't lie in me. God blessed me with a fully functioning body and I should be happy about it. I should not let my opinion on myself be changed by some guys. It lies in the minds of these guys, and if this is their criteria of judgment then it's a good thing that they kicked me to the curb.
I am not hesitant in sharing my picture anymore. If anybody likes me they have excellent taste and those who don't approve of me, they are welcome to walk around with a stick up their asses.
What can I do?
I was born this way, baby!
One of my earliest memories is from 1st Grade when my Urdu language teacher pinched my cheek and told me how cute I am. Later it was my 3rd and 4th Grade teacher. I think my 5th Grade teacher said something as well, but I don't quite remember it. I was her prize pupil, which I remember clearly. Then I changed schools and my new school gave me the same treatment. For some reason, people loved pulling my cheek. Josh commented on it once as well that I have very 'pullable' cheeks and he's not the only one to say so. There have been others as well. So I had this fact down long before I even stepped into the Online world of cruising.
But now that I came here, the rules of the game drastically changed my perception. I contacted guys and some of them responded back. Sometimes I would get a message out of the blue from some guy who seemed genuinely interested. Everything went smooth and fine up till the time came to show my pictures. Except for the few that I have went out with, the rest either always stopped talking to me or changed in how the would respond to my messages. They didn't need to say it, I knew it already.
It used to bother me so much that I can't put it to words. I could have objected to their dark skin tone, acne, unkempt hair, slight belly or the double chin under development. But I didn't. As much as sometimes I feel repulsed by how someone looks, I do give them a chance to prove themselves as something more. Personality is far more important. What's the use of having a model material boyfriend if he doesn't give you respect?!
I have never asked for model looks but somehow have been blessed with such given my previous boyfriends, Bruce and Nathan. I realized that my problem really has no solution since nearly every guy out there has a six-pack check box on their check list. I resigned to being friends with what I could get and that worked for me. But just for a while!
"Why don't you put up your face picture?", Ryan suggested one day when I told him about my dilemma. "Sometimes guys you never thought would be interested in you, actually do stop for a second look at your profile and things can go somewhere."
"I know, but I can't take that risk. At least not while I am in Pakistan!", I told Ryan. I didn't tell Ryan that my rejection could possibly be due to the junk in my trunk - not that kind!
Then one day while randomly browsing, I was hit with a brilliant but a tad bit desperate idea. I wanted to check that if there was actually something wrong with me so I made a completely new profile. Every single detail on the profile was the same as my original profile. I didn't even change a single word in my 'About Me' section. The only difference between these two profiles was that the new profile held several of my face pictures - the same that I used on my other profiles except that they were hidden and could be only viewed if I allowed the other person to see them. The other difference was the location. This profile didn't state my true location Pakistan. I put down United Kingdom.
Later when I logged on at night, I was actually surprised to see quite a few responses. They were the usual but still a response is a response. These people were fine with how I looked, and some even took the time to read my profile and respond keenly. I added them on messengers and chatted with some of them. These guys liked me. They really did like me!
I changed my profile location to 'Egypt' and got similar result. I didn't exactly get Harem quality but I am not looking for that either. These guys were decent, educated, looking for commitment and good looking enough to turn me on. Why should I care if none of them have the potential to grace Men's Health covers?!
All this was good, but why do I keep striking out in my homeland?!
Could it be because I look Indian and that's something of a rarity in United Kingdom and Egypt?
Certainly not!
So as a last try, I changed my location to 'Bangladesh' and from the meager population that resided there, I got a few responses. One guy really stood above the rest and I really could not believe that he was interested in me. He kept asking for my phone number which I obviously couldn't give him, but I later got an opportunity to talk to him on phone which I will post about later sometime.
But all this proved to me that I look okay if not good. I don't need to worry about how I look, the problem doesn't lie in me. God blessed me with a fully functioning body and I should be happy about it. I should not let my opinion on myself be changed by some guys. It lies in the minds of these guys, and if this is their criteria of judgment then it's a good thing that they kicked me to the curb.
I am not hesitant in sharing my picture anymore. If anybody likes me they have excellent taste and those who don't approve of me, they are welcome to walk around with a stick up their asses.
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