While talking to Ted a few weeks back our topic suddenly shifted to the losers one often tends to run into the Online world. "I know exactly what you mean, dude! I absolutely hate their broken English messages asking for ASL, TBV and stuff like that! They really don't care enough to read the profile!"
"I'm not talking about them, Phunk!"
"Then?"
Turns out he was talking about the guys who are so closeted that they treat other guys like dirt but still would like to date them. They don't tell details or in some cases the right details even after having known you for quite some time. Some even don't care enough to give respect to other guys. Generally they describe themselves to be people in place of much power so they can't risk outing themselves to another gay man in fear of blackmail. They maybe around for a casual no-strings attached encounters. Some are here for more. Some just want the companionship of other gay guys so that they have someone to talk to. In either case, they really don't get anything out of it except blue balls, curses and a few exchange of messages.
Personally speaking, I had never come across such guys so I really didn't have anything to say about them. But then recently I managed to get in touch with two such people and I must say that a good deal of what Ted said was spot on. The first of the two was a married man who I initially came across a little while after my break up with Nathan. I never really got a chance to talk to him till quite recently. On the first talk, I remember he asked me if I was interested in kissing and cuddling. I denied his request as I do not prefer engaging in such activities with random strangers - especially married random strangers. However somehow friendship blossomed between the two of us. There were a few advances after that as well however everytime I would give him a cold shoulder or politely decline him. Another thing about him that didn't settle well with me was when he used to call me 'Darling', 'Sexy' or 'Cutie'. Now these terms could be entirely casual but he was married and it didn't settle right with me to be called the thing his wife should be complimented with. I'll admit his smooth talks made my heart flutter a few times but for once my brain did exactly what it was supposed to - keeping me grounded.
One of the most seductive element about him was his intelligence. Intelligence is a huge turn on for me. The talks I had with him, I had never had these talks with anybody before. We talked about religion, sexuality and the two in connection with each other. This brought another conflict to my mind about him that he doesn't entirely practice what he preaches. But it wasn't my place to say anything.
What really used to tick me off quite a few times was his possessiveness. He didn't like me meeting other guys. He cared about me but not in a way he should have. Somewhere along the lines we shared our pictures and contact details. The picture I sent was my usual one with my entire face visible but the one I got from him was of him wearing shades with his head bent down. I had very little idea how he looked like. The contact number I gave him was the one I usually give to guys I meet Online. The one I got was a brand new number which he didn't use often as I never got replies to my text when I sent them and many times during our conversation he would disappear completely. When I would hit dial, the recording would tell me that the desired number is switched off.
Once my college started, I really had no time to come on messengers where we would usually talk. Once in a while we would exchange messages through our cells but he would disappear just like that so eventually I stopped replying to his text completely. Around the same time, Ted started fixing me up with his best friend which eventually didn't happen. He reads my blog and after reading this post, he immediately contacted me telling me I should not meet any new guys. "You don't want me to meet any new guys! Fine! I won't meet them! But I want to meet you instead!", I told him. I wanted to sort it out and put him in his place once and for all.
He agreed. I told Ted to not fix me up yet as I have some things to sort out. I started to plan the meet and gave him several places to choose from. From what he told me he's some high profile guy so I put forward places that aren't much crowded and would provide seclusion if he's so frigg'in scared of meeting a gay guy in public. I got no response. I left a few more messages on his Yahoo! and cell phone. Still no response!
By now I really didn't care if he got down on one knee and asked me out. Then one Friday he caught me Online. I'll admit that I was disrespectful to him but I really didn't care anymore. He told me that he does want to meet me but before that he wanted to see me on camera to make sure that I am the same guy from the pic. At that point all my suppressed rage kicked into life. I told him he is the one who showed me a half-ass picture of himself. He was the one who bought a new SIM to contact me. He is the one who should be showing me his picture. Not me! I really didn't want to put up with his crap anymore. If he wants to meet me, he meets me like just any other regular gay guy. I really don't care for his status. At the end of the day, all gay guys like to suck dick!
And just like that it was over!
And I couldn't care less!
A few days later I got a friend request from some guy from Islamabad. His profile was blank but I decided to give him the benefit of doubt and messaged him. He checked out my blog and was interested in getting to know me. So like any other guy, he messaged me. And like any other jerk, he wrote nonsense. Terming me as 'posh', wanting to know if my walk is 'straight' and if I would like to have a drink with him sometime. He wanted me to give him a reason to trust him because he has a life and a social reputation to maintain. Oh yeah, and he smelled good from what he told about himself!
Upon reading the message, I told him I can be friends but I would make no extra effort in gaining his trust. He would be treated just like my other contacts. He has a life and that's wonderful. But so do I!
I do know how important it is to maintain our identities a secret and I would never ever out anybody If it doesn't settle well with him, he can take me off his friend list. I really would not mind!
He has come Online a few times since I messaged him and has even posted on his wall. Today I finally deleted him.
To all jerks, if you want to associate with gays for whatever purpose you fancy, grow a pair and learn to respect others - especially those who already have one!
"I'm not talking about them, Phunk!"
"Then?"
Turns out he was talking about the guys who are so closeted that they treat other guys like dirt but still would like to date them. They don't tell details or in some cases the right details even after having known you for quite some time. Some even don't care enough to give respect to other guys. Generally they describe themselves to be people in place of much power so they can't risk outing themselves to another gay man in fear of blackmail. They maybe around for a casual no-strings attached encounters. Some are here for more. Some just want the companionship of other gay guys so that they have someone to talk to. In either case, they really don't get anything out of it except blue balls, curses and a few exchange of messages.
Personally speaking, I had never come across such guys so I really didn't have anything to say about them. But then recently I managed to get in touch with two such people and I must say that a good deal of what Ted said was spot on. The first of the two was a married man who I initially came across a little while after my break up with Nathan. I never really got a chance to talk to him till quite recently. On the first talk, I remember he asked me if I was interested in kissing and cuddling. I denied his request as I do not prefer engaging in such activities with random strangers - especially married random strangers. However somehow friendship blossomed between the two of us. There were a few advances after that as well however everytime I would give him a cold shoulder or politely decline him. Another thing about him that didn't settle well with me was when he used to call me 'Darling', 'Sexy' or 'Cutie'. Now these terms could be entirely casual but he was married and it didn't settle right with me to be called the thing his wife should be complimented with. I'll admit his smooth talks made my heart flutter a few times but for once my brain did exactly what it was supposed to - keeping me grounded.
One of the most seductive element about him was his intelligence. Intelligence is a huge turn on for me. The talks I had with him, I had never had these talks with anybody before. We talked about religion, sexuality and the two in connection with each other. This brought another conflict to my mind about him that he doesn't entirely practice what he preaches. But it wasn't my place to say anything.
What really used to tick me off quite a few times was his possessiveness. He didn't like me meeting other guys. He cared about me but not in a way he should have. Somewhere along the lines we shared our pictures and contact details. The picture I sent was my usual one with my entire face visible but the one I got from him was of him wearing shades with his head bent down. I had very little idea how he looked like. The contact number I gave him was the one I usually give to guys I meet Online. The one I got was a brand new number which he didn't use often as I never got replies to my text when I sent them and many times during our conversation he would disappear completely. When I would hit dial, the recording would tell me that the desired number is switched off.
Once my college started, I really had no time to come on messengers where we would usually talk. Once in a while we would exchange messages through our cells but he would disappear just like that so eventually I stopped replying to his text completely. Around the same time, Ted started fixing me up with his best friend which eventually didn't happen. He reads my blog and after reading this post, he immediately contacted me telling me I should not meet any new guys. "You don't want me to meet any new guys! Fine! I won't meet them! But I want to meet you instead!", I told him. I wanted to sort it out and put him in his place once and for all.
He agreed. I told Ted to not fix me up yet as I have some things to sort out. I started to plan the meet and gave him several places to choose from. From what he told me he's some high profile guy so I put forward places that aren't much crowded and would provide seclusion if he's so frigg'in scared of meeting a gay guy in public. I got no response. I left a few more messages on his Yahoo! and cell phone. Still no response!
By now I really didn't care if he got down on one knee and asked me out. Then one Friday he caught me Online. I'll admit that I was disrespectful to him but I really didn't care anymore. He told me that he does want to meet me but before that he wanted to see me on camera to make sure that I am the same guy from the pic. At that point all my suppressed rage kicked into life. I told him he is the one who showed me a half-ass picture of himself. He was the one who bought a new SIM to contact me. He is the one who should be showing me his picture. Not me! I really didn't want to put up with his crap anymore. If he wants to meet me, he meets me like just any other regular gay guy. I really don't care for his status. At the end of the day, all gay guys like to suck dick!
And just like that it was over!
And I couldn't care less!
A few days later I got a friend request from some guy from Islamabad. His profile was blank but I decided to give him the benefit of doubt and messaged him. He checked out my blog and was interested in getting to know me. So like any other guy, he messaged me. And like any other jerk, he wrote nonsense. Terming me as 'posh', wanting to know if my walk is 'straight' and if I would like to have a drink with him sometime. He wanted me to give him a reason to trust him because he has a life and a social reputation to maintain. Oh yeah, and he smelled good from what he told about himself!
Upon reading the message, I told him I can be friends but I would make no extra effort in gaining his trust. He would be treated just like my other contacts. He has a life and that's wonderful. But so do I!
I do know how important it is to maintain our identities a secret and I would never ever out anybody If it doesn't settle well with him, he can take me off his friend list. I really would not mind!
He has come Online a few times since I messaged him and has even posted on his wall. Today I finally deleted him.
To all jerks, if you want to associate with gays for whatever purpose you fancy, grow a pair and learn to respect others - especially those who already have one!
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