I don't think of myself as a superstitious person. I really don't! However I've had a bad run with a certain variable and I have grown very cautious about it. Generally little thing like this are not something that I would let hold me back, but lately the thought just can't escape from my head. The thought being that guys who's real names begin with A are not suitable for a relationship when it comes to me.
As little children, when we start learning the alphabets we are given these books which have the alphabet on one page and directly opposite is an object who's name starts with the said letter. Like A stands for Apple, B is for Ball, C is for Cat and so on. My personal opinion has changed and in my picture book A does not stand for Apple but for Avoidance.
This avoidance isn't something I would fancy to have but rather a cold and cruel compilation of bittersweet facts. Looking back over to the guys I've gotten involved with both Nathan and Bruce had their names starting with A. Ryan - my best friend has just about everything I like in a guy but he doesn't turn me on the least bit even though he is quite attractive. By chance, his name also begins with the letter A. Then two guys with whom things got really messy once I turned them down also had their names from A. Another guy who took great interest in me up till the point he saw my picture also had an A name. And lastly a certain guy who's advances I'm trying to stop effecting me also has a name starting with the letter A.
There is most definitely a certain pattern to this madness. I don't know how the whole name business affects my relationship chemistry or just the fact how I have to behave with another guy. But in any case, it does make sense that I avoid such guys like the plague.
I won't deny that I have gotten a wee bit commitment phobic since my break up with Nathan. But the search is still going on. I am literally now scared to get to know the name of a certain guy I like. Everytime I send a message asking for his name and get a reply for it, I'm literally praying "Don't let the name be from the letter A! Don't let the name be from the letter A!". It's crazy but I can't help it! If I see a certain way out to save something from crashing and burning, I would grab on to every last straw I possibly can.
If you recall from an earlier post about my friend Ted who was trying to fix me up with his best friend. Unfortunately for me, his name started with the letter A. Uh Oh! Did my love boat sink even before leaving the dock?
No!, I told myself. Your being completely stupid and irrational, this really isn't something that you should give a second thought to. It's all in your head. Snap out of it! Given my history I can't help being so paranoid, but Ted really thinks we can be a great couple and I should really give him a chance.
Two days ago I got a text from Ted's friend asking if I was free for a phone call. I was and a three minutes later we were on. The talk started very casually with both of us updating each other about our lives. However the call was strictly business from his end. Turns out he is having some tough issues to face right now and doesn't really have time for a relation. He thinks I'm a great guy but we would be better off as friends. Perhaps at some other point, we would have been a good couple but now is not the right time. In short, it's over!
I'm not mad at him. I'm glad he was upfront and honest with me. He didn't really tell me what stuff is exactly going on but it it is indeed true - I hope he solves the issues soon. He's a nice guy. At any rate, another guy who's name starts with A turned me down. Please tell me it's not just in my head!
As little children, when we start learning the alphabets we are given these books which have the alphabet on one page and directly opposite is an object who's name starts with the said letter. Like A stands for Apple, B is for Ball, C is for Cat and so on. My personal opinion has changed and in my picture book A does not stand for Apple but for Avoidance.
This avoidance isn't something I would fancy to have but rather a cold and cruel compilation of bittersweet facts. Looking back over to the guys I've gotten involved with both Nathan and Bruce had their names starting with A. Ryan - my best friend has just about everything I like in a guy but he doesn't turn me on the least bit even though he is quite attractive. By chance, his name also begins with the letter A. Then two guys with whom things got really messy once I turned them down also had their names from A. Another guy who took great interest in me up till the point he saw my picture also had an A name. And lastly a certain guy who's advances I'm trying to stop effecting me also has a name starting with the letter A.
There is most definitely a certain pattern to this madness. I don't know how the whole name business affects my relationship chemistry or just the fact how I have to behave with another guy. But in any case, it does make sense that I avoid such guys like the plague.
I won't deny that I have gotten a wee bit commitment phobic since my break up with Nathan. But the search is still going on. I am literally now scared to get to know the name of a certain guy I like. Everytime I send a message asking for his name and get a reply for it, I'm literally praying "Don't let the name be from the letter A! Don't let the name be from the letter A!". It's crazy but I can't help it! If I see a certain way out to save something from crashing and burning, I would grab on to every last straw I possibly can.
If you recall from an earlier post about my friend Ted who was trying to fix me up with his best friend. Unfortunately for me, his name started with the letter A. Uh Oh! Did my love boat sink even before leaving the dock?
No!, I told myself. Your being completely stupid and irrational, this really isn't something that you should give a second thought to. It's all in your head. Snap out of it! Given my history I can't help being so paranoid, but Ted really thinks we can be a great couple and I should really give him a chance.
Two days ago I got a text from Ted's friend asking if I was free for a phone call. I was and a three minutes later we were on. The talk started very casually with both of us updating each other about our lives. However the call was strictly business from his end. Turns out he is having some tough issues to face right now and doesn't really have time for a relation. He thinks I'm a great guy but we would be better off as friends. Perhaps at some other point, we would have been a good couple but now is not the right time. In short, it's over!
I'm not mad at him. I'm glad he was upfront and honest with me. He didn't really tell me what stuff is exactly going on but it it is indeed true - I hope he solves the issues soon. He's a nice guy. At any rate, another guy who's name starts with A turned me down. Please tell me it's not just in my head!
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