Dating by no means is easy. It’s complicated. It’s messy. It’s risky. However it’s necessary, whether one would like to admit it or not. Finding the one is no piece of cake, that person won’t magically drop in our laps. The search can be a long and tiring process; however that is no excuse for us to forget simple social etiquette of meeting other people.
Having been on a few dates myself, I’ve seen a couple of things that have irked me now and then. Fortunately it’s not just me who has these complains. Guys and girls both have been on the receiving end of this somewhat cruel treatment. I’ve divided the list into pre-date, on-date and post-date. Which of the following have you been considerate enough to follow? Or worse, which one of the following are you guilty of?
When planning for a meet, it’s best to talk it out over the phone. Words can be misunderstood during text messaging by the reader and ultimately leading to confusion.
When deciding on a place, keep both wallets (yours and his) in mind. Dating is unpredictable and if there is no second chance, then why blow precious money?! Go Dutch – unless the other person is specifically planning on treating you. Never assume it!
Don’t dress up! Be casual! Clothes that you feel comfortable will automatically make you feel relaxed. If your clothes make you stand out in a crowd and attract attention, there is a very good chance that your date will feel uncomfortable. But do refrain from looking like something the cat dragged in.
Smell good! You have to smell good! Bad odors from any part of the body indicate poor hygiene – an instant turn off for many. Keep a pocket mint for bad breath. Be generous and offer your date one as well.
If you plan on picking up your date on a motorcycle, make sure to borrow an extra helmet. If you can’t arrange one, ask him to do so! Just like sex – best to be safe than sorry!
Lastly if you can’t make it – tell in advance. Do not spring it on the other person the last minute or simply not show up and ignore his texts and call.
Pay attention to your date! That’s the first rule of dating. You are here to meet him. So talk to him. Do not pay attention to your cell phone, T.V. or the worst – another person present there. Eyeing another person is a complete deal breaker!
Do not take along your best friend on the date. You do not need his approval to date. If you do not feel safe meeting a guy, then simply don’t! Dating is meant for companies, not crowds. Do not have him scout for you either!
Talking about religion and politics is generally a bad idea since conflicting views may lead to heated arguments and possibly ego clashes. Keep these for later dates unless these topics are the ‘it’ thing for discussion between you two.
If one of the two is more of a silent type, the other one has to steer the conversation. However refrain from over-talking, over-sharing and cutting the other guy mid-sentence.
Avoid getting physical, touchy-grabby on the first date. People generally don’t like that! A handshake at the start and a hug at the end are pretty good. No need to steer into dark alleys for a quick squeeze.
First dates are awkward most of the time. And that’s perfectly okay! As long as neither of the two wants to do a Road Runner imitation, it’s all good!
Do not attend any phone calls or reply to any text messages unless it’s a matter of life and death. Guys have actually complained of their date’s text messaging other guys during meets. No wonder dating sucks according to most guys!
If you are into smoking or drinking, but your date isn’t – do ask him if he would be fine if you light one up or order some booze. People with asthma will instantly stop you – and you need to listen to them!
Post date text – this is quite possibly the most important part of the date and sets the tone for whatever happens next. There is really nothing wrong in being the first one to text – doing so doesn’t give the impression that you are clingy, weak or desperate. It’s a compliment to tell someone that you had fun with them!
Post date text should preferably not lead to more text messaging in my opinion. Now that gives the impression that you’re clingy, weak or desperate. Take time and give time!
If you are dropping the other person back at his place, do not invite yourself inside unless the other person asks you so. It’s his crib, he knows best!
None of these are really that hard to follow. Plus I feel that this will definitely ease up on the man drama in our social lives. Take care till the next time!
Originally published in Gaylaxy March-April, 2011. You can check out it's archives by clicking here.
Having been on a few dates myself, I’ve seen a couple of things that have irked me now and then. Fortunately it’s not just me who has these complains. Guys and girls both have been on the receiving end of this somewhat cruel treatment. I’ve divided the list into pre-date, on-date and post-date. Which of the following have you been considerate enough to follow? Or worse, which one of the following are you guilty of?
Pre-Date
When planning for a meet, it’s best to talk it out over the phone. Words can be misunderstood during text messaging by the reader and ultimately leading to confusion.
When deciding on a place, keep both wallets (yours and his) in mind. Dating is unpredictable and if there is no second chance, then why blow precious money?! Go Dutch – unless the other person is specifically planning on treating you. Never assume it!
Don’t dress up! Be casual! Clothes that you feel comfortable will automatically make you feel relaxed. If your clothes make you stand out in a crowd and attract attention, there is a very good chance that your date will feel uncomfortable. But do refrain from looking like something the cat dragged in.
Smell good! You have to smell good! Bad odors from any part of the body indicate poor hygiene – an instant turn off for many. Keep a pocket mint for bad breath. Be generous and offer your date one as well.
If you plan on picking up your date on a motorcycle, make sure to borrow an extra helmet. If you can’t arrange one, ask him to do so! Just like sex – best to be safe than sorry!
Lastly if you can’t make it – tell in advance. Do not spring it on the other person the last minute or simply not show up and ignore his texts and call.
On-Date
Pay attention to your date! That’s the first rule of dating. You are here to meet him. So talk to him. Do not pay attention to your cell phone, T.V. or the worst – another person present there. Eyeing another person is a complete deal breaker!
Do not take along your best friend on the date. You do not need his approval to date. If you do not feel safe meeting a guy, then simply don’t! Dating is meant for companies, not crowds. Do not have him scout for you either!
Talking about religion and politics is generally a bad idea since conflicting views may lead to heated arguments and possibly ego clashes. Keep these for later dates unless these topics are the ‘it’ thing for discussion between you two.
If one of the two is more of a silent type, the other one has to steer the conversation. However refrain from over-talking, over-sharing and cutting the other guy mid-sentence.
Avoid getting physical, touchy-grabby on the first date. People generally don’t like that! A handshake at the start and a hug at the end are pretty good. No need to steer into dark alleys for a quick squeeze.
First dates are awkward most of the time. And that’s perfectly okay! As long as neither of the two wants to do a Road Runner imitation, it’s all good!
Do not attend any phone calls or reply to any text messages unless it’s a matter of life and death. Guys have actually complained of their date’s text messaging other guys during meets. No wonder dating sucks according to most guys!
If you are into smoking or drinking, but your date isn’t – do ask him if he would be fine if you light one up or order some booze. People with asthma will instantly stop you – and you need to listen to them!
Post-Date
Post date text – this is quite possibly the most important part of the date and sets the tone for whatever happens next. There is really nothing wrong in being the first one to text – doing so doesn’t give the impression that you are clingy, weak or desperate. It’s a compliment to tell someone that you had fun with them!
Post date text should preferably not lead to more text messaging in my opinion. Now that gives the impression that you’re clingy, weak or desperate. Take time and give time!
If you are dropping the other person back at his place, do not invite yourself inside unless the other person asks you so. It’s his crib, he knows best!
None of these are really that hard to follow. Plus I feel that this will definitely ease up on the man drama in our social lives. Take care till the next time!
Originally published in Gaylaxy March-April, 2011. You can check out it's archives by clicking here.
