It's over between Josh and me. I am not exactly sure how it happened, why it happened or even if it has actually happened. It is like I have a hangover from a party that I didn't even go to. It is also so frigg'in confusing and mixed up. Also the fact that I have just one side of the story - my side, so I can't put the entire puzzle together. I'll try to the best of my abilities to channel it here in the next few posts. It's all too big to put down in one post.
Also let me add that I am not depressed or anything synonymous to it. I would say that I am a little pissed but I am definitely not depressed over what has happened. It is absolutely nothing like it went down with Nathan (Read here and here), which makes me think that maybe it happened for the best. Maybe I didn't love him, but simply liked him and moved too fast. He deserves someone who loves him and doesn't second guess that feeling at all for even a second. I was not that person. I could have been that person had he given some time but I am not thinking about it. I am not mad at Josh. Well perhaps just a little! =P
Remember how I mentioned in the first paragraph that I am not sure if it has happened, so let me explain that to you now. Josh has not been responding to my text messages or Facebook messages. He does not pick up my calls but let's it ring. This has been going on since August 8th. He had his first exam yesterday so that would be a logical explanation, exam do raise the stress level and one tends to be annoyed by petty distractions. However when you have enough time to change your Facebook display picture you can definitely hit me back with a text message saying that you're okay. He didn't even congratulate me on clearing my exams( YAY me!! ). My gay pals congratulated me as soon as they heard the news. It made me think my importance in his world. How frigg'in inconsiderate can you be?!
Josh has behaved in a similar manner sometime back in April or May. At that time I was more concerned than pissed. Maybe he will text me after his exams but it doesn't matter to me any more. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!
I can't be with someone who can shut me out so easily. So this time I'm going my own way, and for once I'm happy beyond words. I really am! I was relieved and a little sad when things with Bruce ended but this time I am positively gleeful. See me smile!
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him really bad but after four solid days of silence that you could touch I have backed off. If he returns after his exams, I will not get back on this train. It's not that I hate him. I really don't. I would admit that I would like an explanation for his behavior. But I am no longer angry at him. See my smile above! ;)
A friend of mine theorizes that I got dumped. The more I thought about it, I would say that he is indeed right. Josh did dump me!
However I am still not sad. He didn't consider me the right choice, I wasn't ready to be his choice either. Like I said earlier, perhaps it worked out in the best fashion for both of us. I am back to being single, and no matter how much do I want or try to get committed Karma does not wish the same for me. Therefore I shall wait, but I can have a little fun while I am waiting. Hahaha - that too would be covered in coming posts.
Hope everybody is having a wonderful time!
Also let me add that I am not depressed or anything synonymous to it. I would say that I am a little pissed but I am definitely not depressed over what has happened. It is absolutely nothing like it went down with Nathan (Read here and here), which makes me think that maybe it happened for the best. Maybe I didn't love him, but simply liked him and moved too fast. He deserves someone who loves him and doesn't second guess that feeling at all for even a second. I was not that person. I could have been that person had he given some time but I am not thinking about it. I am not mad at Josh. Well perhaps just a little! =P
Remember how I mentioned in the first paragraph that I am not sure if it has happened, so let me explain that to you now. Josh has not been responding to my text messages or Facebook messages. He does not pick up my calls but let's it ring. This has been going on since August 8th. He had his first exam yesterday so that would be a logical explanation, exam do raise the stress level and one tends to be annoyed by petty distractions. However when you have enough time to change your Facebook display picture you can definitely hit me back with a text message saying that you're okay. He didn't even congratulate me on clearing my exams( YAY me!! ). My gay pals congratulated me as soon as they heard the news. It made me think my importance in his world. How frigg'in inconsiderate can you be?!
Josh has behaved in a similar manner sometime back in April or May. At that time I was more concerned than pissed. Maybe he will text me after his exams but it doesn't matter to me any more. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!
I can't be with someone who can shut me out so easily. So this time I'm going my own way, and for once I'm happy beyond words. I really am! I was relieved and a little sad when things with Bruce ended but this time I am positively gleeful. See me smile!
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him really bad but after four solid days of silence that you could touch I have backed off. If he returns after his exams, I will not get back on this train. It's not that I hate him. I really don't. I would admit that I would like an explanation for his behavior. But I am no longer angry at him. See my smile above! ;)
A friend of mine theorizes that I got dumped. The more I thought about it, I would say that he is indeed right. Josh did dump me!
However I am still not sad. He didn't consider me the right choice, I wasn't ready to be his choice either. Like I said earlier, perhaps it worked out in the best fashion for both of us. I am back to being single, and no matter how much do I want or try to get committed Karma does not wish the same for me. Therefore I shall wait, but I can have a little fun while I am waiting. Hahaha - that too would be covered in coming posts.
Hope everybody is having a wonderful time!
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