Let's Talk About Boobs!

I'm a closeted gay, on most of the part. Except for Ryan, nobody knows that I lean mores towards cuts than curves. While Ryan says that he's bisexual, I've yet to see him have a girlfriend. He is interested in one girl in particular though.

Our group of friends in college consists of five guys and six girls. Our topics of discussion are both academic and non-academic. However once the girls split, the topic are anything but academic and most commonly girls. The topic about girls is specially brought up whenever a certain female crosses the line of sight. She's a senior and really not that important to the context of this blog. I don't think I'll ever be mentioning her again. Anyhow so this woman is rather well endowed.

Well endowed?! Can you use that term for a woman?

I have no idea! Anyhow so she's well endowed and then on top of that, she likes to wear the color red. Different shades of red ranging from blood red to rose red to red hot. Her wardrobe is blessed with an abundance of red. The boys of our class have quipped her with the moniker Laser Linda!

So we're all sitting one day talking about something I don't exactly remember. Walks by completely unaware, of us, Laser Linda and instantly the other three are completely mesmerized. "How can you not fall in love with those breasts?", remarks a friend of mine.

I'm completely sick and tired of the useless hype she generates. She reminds me of a fire engine and makes Ryan think of a cow. I got annoyed at my friend's remark and spit out, "If you're gay!"

Everybody turns to me and looking at me as if demanding an explanation. Everyone except Ryan, he's giving me the biggest scowl ever. Not knowing when to stop I proceed to back my statement with proof. I hear Ryan sigh quietly. He keeps telling me I should control these urges to explain and defend homosexuality if I plan to stay in the closet. He says that people do know about it but they are not willing to accept. But I am me. And being me isn't the best thing to be in such sticky situations. I often blurt out stupid things that may lead to the indication of me being wrapped in a rainbow flag. And Ryan gets completely irritated by this behavior of mine.

The conversation is getting hotter and hotter with both sides not willing to understand what the other has to say. Ryan jumps in to put a nail on it. "It's like this, do the ta tas make you go ya ya or na na?" he says with that killer smile. And everybody is laughing forgetting the entire conversation we were just having a few minutes ago.

Once everyone has split, I get a big lecture from Ryan on how stupid I am and, how I should know when to say what and when not to say it. I agree but then I disagree. You want to talk about boobs, go ahead. Just don't include me in the discussion.