Chanel No. 5.
Marilyn Monroe
Asked what she wore in bed.
Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers.
Socrates
Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.
Ralph Bus
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
Will Rogers
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Spike Milligan
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
Brendan Behan
Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
George Bernard Shaw
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.
George Burns
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
Don't have a cow, man.
Bart Simpson
Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Mae West
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
Groucho Marx
Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.
Mae West
Don't talk to me about Naval tradition! It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
Winston Churchill
Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
Woody Allen
Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender.
Homer Simpson
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Homer Simpson
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick.
Samuel Beckett
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Oprah Winfrey
Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
John Benfield
Eat my shorts.
Bart Simpson
English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
Homer Simpson
Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.
George S. Kaufman
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Woody Allen
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
George Bernard Shaw
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
Charles D. Warner
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde
First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging.
Denis Healey
Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.
Oscar Wilde
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kennedy
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
Give a man a free hand and he'll try to put it all over you.
Mae West
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet!
Saint Augustine
Giving up smoking is easy. I've done it hundreds of times.
Author Unknown
Often erroneously attributed to Mark Twain.
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
Mae West
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Will Rogers
'Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!' 'Goodness had nothing to do with it'.
Mae West
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