There have been three things in my to-do list that I must absolutely accomplish and once I have accomplished them, I can die as a very happy man. They are as follows;
While the first two simply require sheer hard-work, determination, motivation, ingenuity, innovation and lots of paper work, the third one poses an immense challenge. The third one requires all that and alot of luck. Let's face it, raising a child is no piece of cake. But I can't put into words how much I look forward to having a little one all of my own. I gave up on it once some time ago and constantly a part inside of me regretted it. Now there is absolutely no way I am giving up on this one.
I have a ton of cousins who are married and have had their first taste of fatherhood. The look on their face when the little one yawns in their arms, curl their tiny fingers around the father's thumb or do something as simple as make the goo sound; the look my cousins get on their face - that expression of pure joy and unconditional love. I want that for myself - that bubble of happiness bursts inside me as well even though it's not my child. Just because I'm gay and don't plan to marry a girl should not mean that I should be denied fatherhood - I don't care what the frigg'in society believes. I know most probably I'm going to be a single father and frankly I don't mind that. Right now I'd rather have a child in my life than a man by my side. Single father is tough business but my chances are much better with children than with men. Also I don't think most gay men - even those willing to get into a relation, desire to become fathers. Me and my child - we can build our own little nest of happiness.
Anybody who knows me on a personal level knows that I love love LOVE kids. Fortunately the kids also happen to love me, one of the nicknames my friends have given me is Baby Whisperer. A while back when I had my rounds in Pediatrics and the Gynecology and Obstetrics floors, I used to have a ball of a time with the babies. It was literally my heaven - children of all shapes and sizes. Once I was holding a baby in my arms and it fell asleep, the doctor showed up suddenly so I didn't want to risk putting the baby down and waking her up. I got Ryan and Gracie to stand in front of me and shield me from the doctor so that he doesn't notice the baby in my hands. I must have held her like that for 30 minutes. It was only when my arms started to ache and I was sweating profusely from the elbows that I decide to hand her over to the mother- gently of course. Thankfully the doctor didn't say anything when he realized that I was holding the baby for the first half of his class. I'm a very highly appreciated baby sitter given that I'm very frequently sitting for my 2 year old niece and 3 yr old nephew. I don't mind it at all. They are my little bundle of joys and till my sister has babies of her own I'm going to do with these. I never told this to anyone, but after the break up just to cheer myself up I spent an entire day with my niece. I'm not lying when I'm telling you this, I didn't even think of Nathan one bit. She kept me running around in circles and I didn't mind it at all. By the end of it, I smelled like sweat and baby formula but I didn't care. I had the most amazing time of my life with her.
I know being a single father is going to pose numerous issues for me every single day and I will think it out thoroughly before I take on this mammoth task of being a dad. But if there is even the slightest chance that I'll pull it off, I'm not going to stop at anything to accomplish this dream of mine. I know I can be a great dad because everybody around me knows I'm great with kids. I somehow just manage to know exactly what they want. One of my cousin's wife especially pointed it out last year during one of the trip to Walmart when I managed to remember everything her son wanted. All my nephews and nieces think I'm the coolest uncle especially since I don't mind giving them as many piggy back rides as they want. I just know that if I ever have a chance of becoming a dad, I'm going to be doing a freaky awesome job and I would not let them feel that they happen to have just half of the normal parent quantity. I don't need a man. I seriously don't. You simply can't rely on them and you definitely can't be constantly happy with them. Guy on guy chemistry is complicated business, give me the inorganic and organic any day. Believe it, you'll be doing me a huge favor.
I don't care who opposes this decision of mine and I am definitely not going to be making space in my life for anybody who will not be accepting my kid. You love me, you gotta love my kid. It's as simple as that! I really hope that I am able to fulfill this dream of mine. I really do!
- Having a very successful career as a medical practitioner
- Becoming a culinary expert
- Raising a child
While the first two simply require sheer hard-work, determination, motivation, ingenuity, innovation and lots of paper work, the third one poses an immense challenge. The third one requires all that and alot of luck. Let's face it, raising a child is no piece of cake. But I can't put into words how much I look forward to having a little one all of my own. I gave up on it once some time ago and constantly a part inside of me regretted it. Now there is absolutely no way I am giving up on this one.
I have a ton of cousins who are married and have had their first taste of fatherhood. The look on their face when the little one yawns in their arms, curl their tiny fingers around the father's thumb or do something as simple as make the goo sound; the look my cousins get on their face - that expression of pure joy and unconditional love. I want that for myself - that bubble of happiness bursts inside me as well even though it's not my child. Just because I'm gay and don't plan to marry a girl should not mean that I should be denied fatherhood - I don't care what the frigg'in society believes. I know most probably I'm going to be a single father and frankly I don't mind that. Right now I'd rather have a child in my life than a man by my side. Single father is tough business but my chances are much better with children than with men. Also I don't think most gay men - even those willing to get into a relation, desire to become fathers. Me and my child - we can build our own little nest of happiness.
Anybody who knows me on a personal level knows that I love love LOVE kids. Fortunately the kids also happen to love me, one of the nicknames my friends have given me is Baby Whisperer. A while back when I had my rounds in Pediatrics and the Gynecology and Obstetrics floors, I used to have a ball of a time with the babies. It was literally my heaven - children of all shapes and sizes. Once I was holding a baby in my arms and it fell asleep, the doctor showed up suddenly so I didn't want to risk putting the baby down and waking her up. I got Ryan and Gracie to stand in front of me and shield me from the doctor so that he doesn't notice the baby in my hands. I must have held her like that for 30 minutes. It was only when my arms started to ache and I was sweating profusely from the elbows that I decide to hand her over to the mother- gently of course. Thankfully the doctor didn't say anything when he realized that I was holding the baby for the first half of his class. I'm a very highly appreciated baby sitter given that I'm very frequently sitting for my 2 year old niece and 3 yr old nephew. I don't mind it at all. They are my little bundle of joys and till my sister has babies of her own I'm going to do with these. I never told this to anyone, but after the break up just to cheer myself up I spent an entire day with my niece. I'm not lying when I'm telling you this, I didn't even think of Nathan one bit. She kept me running around in circles and I didn't mind it at all. By the end of it, I smelled like sweat and baby formula but I didn't care. I had the most amazing time of my life with her.
I know being a single father is going to pose numerous issues for me every single day and I will think it out thoroughly before I take on this mammoth task of being a dad. But if there is even the slightest chance that I'll pull it off, I'm not going to stop at anything to accomplish this dream of mine. I know I can be a great dad because everybody around me knows I'm great with kids. I somehow just manage to know exactly what they want. One of my cousin's wife especially pointed it out last year during one of the trip to Walmart when I managed to remember everything her son wanted. All my nephews and nieces think I'm the coolest uncle especially since I don't mind giving them as many piggy back rides as they want. I just know that if I ever have a chance of becoming a dad, I'm going to be doing a freaky awesome job and I would not let them feel that they happen to have just half of the normal parent quantity. I don't need a man. I seriously don't. You simply can't rely on them and you definitely can't be constantly happy with them. Guy on guy chemistry is complicated business, give me the inorganic and organic any day. Believe it, you'll be doing me a huge favor.
I don't care who opposes this decision of mine and I am definitely not going to be making space in my life for anybody who will not be accepting my kid. You love me, you gotta love my kid. It's as simple as that! I really hope that I am able to fulfill this dream of mine. I really do!
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